I have a cousin-in-law (is there such a thing?) who is from Florida (like Mega-Hicksville in the 'Glades somewhere) and shows up to all family functions (Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.) wearing a ripped up, color-faded Dan Marino jersey circa 1993 (at best). You can't understand a word that comes out of his mouth. I once considered having a discussion about the Dolphins with him, but then I thought the better of it, because he was rather Hawkeye-ish in his enthusiasm for the Dolphins. By that, of course, I mean that he is the sort of person who still thinks Dan Marino is the quarterback and has no idea who is on the current roster, and who thinks that Don Shula is still the coach.
