Cheated on my high school girlfriend with two girls. They called her and told her the story the next morning. We were back together one week later. That's when I knew I had a future in sales.
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Cheated on my high school girlfriend with two girls. They called her and told her the story the next morning. We were back together one week later. That's when I knew I had a future in sales.
:wideeyed::biglaugh:Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyclonepride
Stupidest thing: Got in a fight and got hit with a golf club. Not as bad as it sounds he barely caught. I did get a few stitches above my eye. Also thought I got back at the guy who hit me that night but apparently I tackled and was taking it out on another guys face. That's a long story.
Most awkward: Got plowed one night and went back to Helser. Started walking around the hallways in my boxer-briefs. Eventually found a girl that was awake in her room and stopped by to talk. Apparently she didn't want to talk because I walked away to the sound of, "Who the hell walks around in their underwear at 3 in the morning? Go to bed you stupid drunk!" Or something very close to that.
Outside of our local Hy-Vee there was plastic newspaper stand that held the area's Tradepost/autotrader fliers. It was white with bright red letters that said "Free." During high school my friends and I decided we would take it late one night, with the excuse that it said it was "Free." Late one night we borrowed a friend's family mini-van. We pulled up to the front doors of Hy-Vee when no one was outside or coming out the doors about 2 or 3 am, slide open the side door of the mini van, jumped out and grabbed the 4ft tall stand. It surprised us because the bottom of the stand was filled with rocks to keep it from being knocked over. We still managed to get it in the van and drove off.
One of the guys took it with him to Iowa State and kept it in his door room/apts all through school.
When I was in college three guys took a leak (hopefully separately) into a beer bottle, capped it and chilled it. They gave it to a guy who proceeded to drink it, throw up whole ramen noodles and say "That's not ****; I tasted **** before."
On a related note: Never, ever, get back together with a girl after you've done her wrong. She will get you back. That is a promise.
If were talking outside of ISU, I lit my pants on fire once. Stepped on a bottle of gasoline and it covered my pants and caught fire. Thankfully, I remembered to stop-drop-and roll. The problem? I rolled right into a nearby pond. At least I wasn't on fire anymore.
That can only be a bad story.:eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyclonepride
After watching Braveheart, the only logical thing to do was host a kilt party. As we pranced around in our kilts, the idea to Indian leg wrestle seemed perfect. That soon resulted into my leg being broken. I was a trooper, though. I didn't go to the hospital until the next day (when the party was over and the Jack had worn off). Then one week later I got to showcase my new cast to all at CY Stevens as I limped across the stage to accept my diploma. This is the "short version" of the story as other details such as dance routines and duct tape were left out. Good times, man. Good times.
i have a few. these are just some recent ones
1. pushed a certain back up center who is on the team right now into a tub because i was peeing and he wouldnt leave me alone.
2. found a futon box, pushed it into the elevator, and got inside after taping on a sing that said "free futon." it was fun jumping out at people when they brought me into their rooms, until some fatty decided " haha, free futon, i think ill jump on the box." i coulda punched him right in the jejunum. doesnt sound like much, but i shoulda taped it.
3. the rest all involve things that i dont remember. one time i woke up laying right next to lake lavern at like 8 am on a saturday, with no idea how i got there.
another time i woke up in the middle of some woods with someone elses boxers on, backwards (the placement of the hole was pretty suspicious, but i have friends that can back me up that nothing happened) with puke all over my chest and a caterers tin of half eated fried chicken next to me; the last thing i remembered was some girl feeding me shots in the back of her car.
another time i woke up with a black eye and blisters on my tongue because we went to a jungle juice party, and they ran out after i had one cup. thing is, they only ran out of the juice and not the everclear, so when i found 2 handles i thought it would be a good idea to distribute some to my friends who hadnt even gotten their moneys worth either. so we were drinking everclear straight, and i just so happened to be hanging out with a friend from il who had never been to ames. he somehow got us home, because i didnt really know where we were (somewhere by west hyvee and i lived in willow) but he said he turned around for like 5 mins and was talking to some girls, and when he turned around i had bit the curb and was laying unconcious right in front of maple. apparently i ran across beach and tripped over the median thing by the bus stop. so he woke me up and i made some coffee once we got back to the kitchenette, but i tend to strip when i got drunk so i was running around in my undies and drinking straight out of the pot.
the kid that had the best stories was my buddy scott filler. he is no longer with us, but if you read his facebook page it is hilarious.
Best memory with scott | Facebook
dude was always drunk, and always had a smile on his face trying to be the bee in sombodies bonnet.
Remembered another story:
During high school we were out in the middle of nowhere making Works Bombs and setting them off on the gravel road. We had set one bottle on the ground and backed away some distance, only to stand there waiting for several minutes. Nothing appeared to be happening but we didn't want to go near because figured once we got close it would explode. After another minutes or so I bet a friend $5 that he couldn't pick it up, put it down his pants, and keep it there for 10 seconds. The friend decided that it wasn't going to blow if it hadn't already. So he walked up grabbed it and I started counting to 10. Of course I was counting very slowly, but as I got to 8 he said something to the extent of "oh ****"...he could feel the bottle expanding in his pants, he pulled it out and tossed it. The bottle exploded as he released it, showering his pants with chemicals, but luckily not injuring him at all. Because he didn't last 10 secs I never paid him the $5. For years afterwards he would always bring it up that I should still pay him the money. About 5 years later I finally paid him so he wouldn't bring it up again. I suppose had I counted normal he would have made it to 10, and he might not have risked his ability to bear children for $5.
Thanks for the stories guys. I needed a good laugh.
in high school one time a girl was being a complete ***** to me and ratted me out for leavin school one day, so some buddies and me had a great idea to put a chicken in her mailbox, it just so happened to be an iowa hawkeye mailbox, 20 minutes later some old hag called one of my buddies parents, apparently she knew his parents, and apparently had watched us put this chicken in her mailbox (completely wrong mailbox, definately not the girls that we originally intened it for, it was definately the next door neighbor's) and his parents made us go back and get the chicken out of her mailbox, the thing freaking went nuts and tried to kill us all as it jumped out of the mailbox.. so to the old hag back, bout two weeks later couple of buddies went back and blew the hockeye mailbox up with some fireworks
-Hooking up with girls who have boyfriends. :no:
-Deciding to go in the steam tunnels drunk off my ***.
-Trying to slide down the stairs in an apartment at legacy.
-Falling down the stairs in larch.
-Calling my sister to order pizza at 2am(thought i was calling jeffs)
-Trying to be a philospher while being drunk.
-Stacking a dorm floors furniture in front of the elevator doors, or hiding them in random spots.
-Painting up for the Missouri game, definite no-no.
Actually for stupidest thing I ever did, it was probably unscrewing the coolant reserve tank cap on my car while it was hot. I was lucky not to be hurt.