You should never be a helicopter parent, especially once they're off to college. I have a frield who talked to his son's college baseball coach about playing time. I don't even do that with my son's 12u coach. But as long as there is a level of independence for the child, I see no problem with students staying close to their parents via technology. In fact I think it's nice if families can remain close during those years.
I talked to my parents maybe twice a month when I went to college. I was thrilled to be there and frankly they were living it up at home with the last child out of the house. I think my parents helped me move my junior year because I didn't have a vehicle to move the stuff and they have an F350. Freshman year I got everything I brought to school in a 77' cutlass backseat. I packed light.
Agree that it is different for each person, but I will say in general the women I know feel a need to talk more frequently than men in order to maintain relationships. I can see a guy I know that I haven't seen for 5 years and we pick right up where we left off. Girls don't do that so well, generally.
I actually lived with my parents the first two years of college, and I talked to them so rarely that my dad once commented he should start charging me rent. We'd always been close, I just didn't feel the need to talk to them about my classes/job.
I do think some parents are way to connected. My mom has recently taught at DMACC and ISU and had problems with parents calling her wanting an explanation as to why their "A student" was getting an F in the class. They couldn't quite understand that showing up and handing in your homework played a large part of getting good grades in school. If my parents ever called my teachers about my grades I would have been mortified.
Well, my parents helped me move in, but that was the last I saw of them until winter break. Of course, living 1000 miles away, it isn't feasible to go home on weekends. A few times on the weekend there would be nobody around as most went home leaving me to myself and a few of the international students.
My freshman year roommate talked to her mom on webcam every afternoon and her dad on the phone every night. She relied on them for every single decision - she even talked to her dad on the phone the night before spring classes started as they both had a campus map open on their computers and her daddy helped her decide which sidewalks to take to get to class. Then she went home every other weekend... never made a single friend the entire year because she never tried.
Some parents (and kids) need to learn when to cut the cord.
My parents never helped me move, which is the way I wanted it. I think I was the only kid in my dorm that didn't have their mom bawling and their dad cussing at his cordless drill.
I always borrowed a truck to move everything down in, and then the next day or so, I'd drive the truck back home and bring my car back (which only took a few hours). I think I scrapped my loft when I moved out, and I didn't have any furniture, so I was good to go.
I didn't go home until Thanksgiving my freshman year, and the next year, I'd only go back on a friday night to catch my brother's football games, which would end about 9, and get me back to Ames with plenty of time to party yet that night.
I never understood people who went home for Labor Day (except my friends from Boji). College was like a fantasy camp: my only responsibility was to myself, and it was socially acceptable to get hammered drunk and sleep with multiple partners. Even if those things weren't to your liking, you still had total freedom. I couldn't get my head around people still interested in suckling at the parental teet.
When I left for ISU I loaded my car and got a wave from the Driveway. Of course, they flew out to help my Sister move into College.......
Are Today's Students-Parents Too Connected? The answers are Yes and No. Funny thing is how colleges and universities are scheduling these two day, intense Summer orientation sessions to get the parents involved. The getting involved part, coaxed on by the schools, stinks of money. I went to a major university orientation in June, After the opening presentations which lasted two hours, the students were ushered to a lecture hall where they heard from campus officers, city police and school representatives. At the same time, the parents were herded into the University Bookstore. Buy these cute gifts and trinkets, please. Your darling little girls and boys need these pennants and mugs, banners, t-shirts and hoodies.
The schools needs to justify the enormous tuition and room and board fee increases on an annual basis so they want the parents lovin' every minute of it.