Hawkeye Legal Defenses

**isucyfan** · 08-22-2007, 11:36 AM

I know the crimes are alleged, and there is that thing called innocent until proven guilty, but I started brainstorming some potential defenses if I were them.

1. "I heard coach say, 'Today at practice, let's take the DB hard downfield and make a good hard cut. Someone's bound to bite on a good fake, and you will get credit for a good play. Watch out for pranks from the seniors, too, they are a bunch of cards. If we practice hard, we can steal some games we are underdogs in. Lots of other teams don't practice as hard as us. We've got the "right stuff" to win.' I wasn't really paying attention, and heard, 'Take someone's credit cards. Steal lots of stuff.' I just do what I'm told."

2. As a receiver, I use prodigious amounts of Stick-Um on my hands...I must have still had some on my hand that the credit card stuck to.

Feel free to add your own...maybe we can get a "Top Ten" style thread to help out our Hawk brethren. (All in good fun, of course.)

**Incyte** · 08-22-2007, 11:38 AM

This crime is the IC police department's "Super Bowl."

**tube1** · 08-22-2007, 11:52 AM

They wanted me to go to rehab, but I said no, no, no.

**Cyclone62** · 08-22-2007, 11:58 AM

Originally Posted by tube1

They wanted me to go to rehab, but I said no, no, no.

If I ever meet the person that wrote/sings that song, I'm going to punch them in the trachea. It's crappy, and gets stuck in my head too easily.

**Incyte** · 08-22-2007, 12:20 PM

Originally Posted by Cyclone62

If I ever meet the person that wrote/sings that song, I'm going to punch them in the trachea. It's crappy, and gets stuck in my head too easily.

Big girls don't cry.

**jdoggivjc** · 08-22-2007, 01:33 PM

What was Mayor Barry's (Washington D.C.) best excuse?

"B**** set me up!!!"

**brianhos** · 08-22-2007, 01:44 PM

Originally Posted by Cyclone62

If I ever meet the person that wrote/sings that song, I'm going to punch them in the trachea. It's crappy, and gets stuck in my head too easily.

I that that Amy Winehouse song? I just heard it for the first time this morning, and I have to say, that is the most SuckTastic thing I have heard since Brittney Spears stopped lip syncing.

**isucyfan** · 08-22-2007, 01:51 PM

Originally Posted by brianhos

I that that Amy Winehouse song? I just heard it for the first time this morning, and I have to say, that is the most SuckTastic thing I have heard since Brittney Spears stopped lip syncing.

Anybody seen "Chocolate Rain" on YouTube?? Talk about SuckTastic.

**Cyclonesrule91** · 08-22-2007, 05:20 PM

The officials went after the wrong person and made the wrong call.

**cyclonekj** · 08-22-2007, 05:35 PM

They never make that call, and besides, Florida players have done worse.

**Cyclonesrule91** · 08-22-2007, 05:47 PM

If these two players are cleared, it is because of how much better they are then the prosecuting team. If these players are convicted, it is because they didn't defend up to expectations and definitely not because the prosecutors had a better case or were the better team.

That's what you call justice Zipperhead drunk Zable style.