o.t.

Wesley · 10-23-2007, 12:19 PM

Important Discovery About the Nature of Hell - Bonus question - Softpedia

Important Discovery About the Nature of Hell

- Bonus question

By: Sci/Tech News Staff

According to some posts on the net, the following is an alleged question given on University of Liverpool chemistry finals. The answer given by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of
their beliefs using Boyle's Law that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my freshman year that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being - which explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting "Oh my God."

This student received the only "A".

bostinelosd · 10-23-2007, 12:20 PM

Wow......lol.

SuperCy · 10-23-2007, 12:22 PM

Actually, about half time last week I was wondering if hell had frozen over.

Flag Guy · 10-23-2007, 04:24 PM

I always love seeing this story...

bstegs · 10-23-2007, 04:30 PM

This story changes. I have seen it at least twice before without the final paragraph and the fact that he still had not slept with Sandra.

superfan · 10-23-2007, 04:38 PM

Epic. Reminds me of a similar story regarding a philosophy course at the U of Michigan.

It was the final, and so the students had all studied the material for the course. The professor came in and handed out the final to the class. The final had only one word on it:

"Why?"

Almost everybody began writing furiously in an attempt to give a great answer. That is, except for one student. He sat there and thought for about 2-3 minutes, scribbled something on his paper, got up, handed it in, and went home.

He received the only "A" in the course.

His answer:

"Because"