hottie debate

monkeybrow · 07-13-2006, 12:53 PM

so i get this call the other day from my old flame Christy..she's going into another divorce and wants to book passage to the monkey milky way of nuggets and cream. Keep in mind mates..this is one hot plate..despite the fact she's put out to pasture a couple of past husbands..aquired a number of children...and was once even involved with a piano-bar ivory tinkler.

But should I give up the ghost on my dear Ms. Clark? after all...Nancy is the un-tapped pleasure mine ..yet to yield many goodies and treasures of the flesh. Unlike Christy..who has had many a' travellers visit her Inn and suckle from the tap of goodness....Nancy hot-cakes has had limited time handling/kneading of the man-flesh and thus her potential is unlimited.

Should I once again accept my former flame/part-time model with loins a'fire back into my highly successful life? Or shall I forever be faithful to my sassy, supple scribe?

A decision not to be lightly...thus put to you lucky few.

Now..put down the Gamecube paddle...get one last sip of the beer-blast...and plunk away your suggestions.

ISUFan22 · 07-13-2006, 12:56 PM

Easy....

Who's actually got the better sports knowledge?

monkeybrow · 07-13-2006, 01:03 PM

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(ISUFan22 @ 07-13-06 10:56 am) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'> Easy....

Who's actually got the better sports knowledge?
[/b][/quote]

well...based upon dear Nancy's columns...I would have to say Christy at this point of time (although..anerexoria and bulimia is not a sport..despite what any model will insist).

Cyclonesrule91 · 07-13-2006, 02:18 PM

If you were looking at it from a Hawk point of view, you would have to go with Babelicious aka Nancy because of the following.......

She is much bigger thus providing warmth in the winter and shade in the summer, providing you are looking for the long term.

monkeybrow · 07-13-2006, 02:27 PM

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Cyclonesrule91 @ 07-13-06 12:18 pm) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'> If you were looking at it from a Hawk point of view, you would have to go with Babelicious aka Nancy because of the following.......

She is much bigger thus providing warmth in the winter and shade in the summer, providing you are looking for the long term.
[/b][/quote]

this is true...she is quite warm and snuggly..like the embrace of the gentle mother grizzly...softly held into her radiating bosoms..safely tucked away from this cruel world of hate and Hawkeye fans. Nothing is more life-affirming then huddling between her woman-jublies....listening to a Clone game...and savoring a few fruit snacks.

zdorr40 · 07-13-2006, 02:30 PM

Monkeybrow,

My initial reaction is that this Christy is to be greatly feared. She appears to be a destroyer of men as well as a crusher of souls, leaving only devastation in her wake. Are you capable of preventing this lovely siren from rendering your heart as the fields of Gettysburg? Even if you are able, chicas like Nancy don't come around very often with her pasty, cheesy skin and her beedy eyes that invite you into her black, empty soul.

I guess if I had to choose, I would take the advice of Salt Lake City's own Polygamy Porter. Why have just one?

Nobody said you have to pick one or the other. Just make sure that Christy and Nancy never, ever meet.

monkeybrow · 07-13-2006, 02:39 PM

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(zdorr40 @ 07-13-06 12:30 pm) [post=]Quoted post[/post]</div><div class='quotemain'>Nobody said you have to pick one or the other. Just make sure that Christy and Nancy never, ever meet[/b]. [/b][/quote]

quite sage advice...I am certain that such a meeting would be most frightful. Imagine...such diverse..polar opposites would perhaps "wink" each other from existence...with nothing remaining except a small pile of very expensive clothing from New York (Armani?)....and a frumpled Lane Bryant matching set with popcorn trickling from one of the pockets. Oh the humanity.

zdorr40 · 07-13-2006, 02:45 PM

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(monkeybrow @ 07-13-06 1:39 pm) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>

quite sage advice...I am certain that such a meeting would be most frightful. Imagine...such diverse..polar opposites would perhaps "wink" each other from existence...with nothing remaining except a small pile of very expensive clothing from New York (Armani?)....and a frumpled Lane Bryant matching set with popcorn trickling from one of the pockets. Oh the humanity.

[/b][/quote]

or a smoldering crater-like hole in the ground

CyinCo · 07-13-2006, 02:54 PM

I can't stop laughing at this post.

I would say you gotta go with Christie. You would get a free Total Gym 1500 and possible get to meet Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once counted to Infinity....Twice.

zdorr40 · 07-13-2006, 03:03 PM

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(CyinCo @ 07-13-06 1:54 pm) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'> I can't stop laughing at this post.

I would say you gotta go with Christie. You would get a free Total Gym 1500 and possible get to meet Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once counted to Infinity....Twice.

[/b][/quote]

I wasn't aware that Chuck Norris was part of this equation. If I were you, I wouldn't share Christy with Chuck Norris. Just calmly back away from her and don't make any noise. If Chuck Norris were to discover you sniffing about his territory, I fear the consequences would be most unpleasant.

Said consequences would surely include a roundhouse kick to the face.

Remember, Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, Chuck Norris waits.

zdorr40 · 07-13-2006, 03:09 PM

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(zdorr40 @ 07-13-06 2:03 pm) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>

I wasn't aware that Chuck Norris was part of this equation. If I were you, I wouldn't share Christy with Chuck Norris. Just calmly back away from her and don't make any noise. If Chuck Norris were to discover you sniffing about his territory, I fear the consequences would be most unpleasant.

Said consequences would surely include a roundhouse kick to the face.

Remember, Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, Chuck Norris waits. [/b][/quote]

The more I read this thread the more concerned for your welfare I become. This whole thing started out with a plea for advice from Monkeybrow. It was either a or b. Now we've got smoldering holes in the ground and Chuck Norris and God knows what else.

Stick with Nancy. For the love of everything holy, stay with Nancy. The last thing this message board needs is for you to go off trying to be brave by fighting Chuck Norris for the attention of some chick that's been passed around like a bong at an EIU frat party.

monkeybrow · 07-13-2006, 03:14 PM

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(CyinCo @ 07-13-06 12:54 pm) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'> I can't stop laughing at this post.

I would say you gotta go with Christie. You would get a free Total Gym 1500 and possible get to meet Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once counted to Infinity....Twice.

[/b][/quote]

All very good points...however...I'm not quite "down" with the current fascination Americans have with Mr. Norris. "Invasion USA" was rather sweet cinema...but that was at least two decades ago by god. Don't count out the extra benefits of Ms. Clark however. Free Sunday editions...lunch at Centro on the Register...a date that will not smirk at double refill popcorns at the Varsity...hot inside scoops of all the local high school girls sports..

not to mention her insatiable appetite for tonsil-hockey and nugget Tantrics

monkeybrow · 07-13-2006, 03:24 PM

[quote name='zdorr40' date='07-13-06 1:09 pm' post='13872']
The more I read this thread the more concerned for your welfare I become. This whole thing started out with a plea for advice from Monkeybrow. It was either a or b. Now we've got smoldering holes in the ground and Chuck Norris and God knows what else.
quote]

it is quite apparent I need to ratchet my Farrells membership to the next level if I am to survive this debacle. Or study "return of the dragon" in which B.Lee handed Mr. Norris his hairy arse. Perhaps I should start my journey in mortal combat in the cage match circuit?..or maybe just hover in the pub area of Loco Joe's until I attract the pummeling about the facial area to "man" up...so the kids say?

Hell mate..if that bloated tart Seagal and flail about the screen and survive...I should be able to slice the mustard and get my baubles "brinkly'ed"

zdorr40 · 07-13-2006, 03:31 PM

On the other hand, Mr. Norris is quite aged. You could either wait a few years until the arthritis sets into him or you could simply acquire a taser and some pepper spray in order to defeat him.

These options seem much easier than buying the Jack LaLane juicer and spending all your time lifting weights and being trained by an old Korean man. Besides, all this training would leave you with no energy for baubular activities.

ISUFan22 · 07-13-2006, 03:33 PM

I'm not sure whether one should laugh, cry or jump off a cliff into a shallow pool filled with sharks after reading this post.

Some very disturbing stuff.

But...as one poster hinted at...why not *stifles vomit* do 'em both *substances creeping up esophagus* in a hot-n-sweaty 3-way? *projectile vomiting commences*