OT: Advice (Long?)

Cyclone62 · 03-30-2007, 12:49 PM

Ok people out there in CF-Land, I need some advice. Well, here goes:
Alright, me and my girlfriend of 3 years started taking time apart from each other about 3 months ago. At first I didn't understand why, but I realized that I had started to take her for granted, that she would always be there with me. So, even though we were broken-up, I started to show how much she does mean to me. I started these things about 3 months ago; sending her cards, a white rose with poems I'd written about her, stuff like that. It's not that I'm "desperate" to keep her, just that I truly love her; and wanted to show her that even though we weren't necessarily together. She told me at the start that she wanted to be able to get back together, back to the way things had used to be before I started taking her for granted. However, it was my intention to better myself for my own sake (I quit smoking and drinking because I wanted to, and this gave me my own reason to; not for someone else).

Recently, she said that she "knows" she wants to get back together; but that was almost three weeks ago. I've been getting conflicting opinions from people about what I should do. She's told me that I should do what I "want to, or feel that I should do." What I want to do, and feel like I should be doing are different things, though. I feel like I should just say "forget it," and that if she doesn't realize that I've become a better person for myself, and can be who I was earlier yet, than she never really will; and that I should just start seeing other women. However, that's not what I want to do; I want to be with her, (her friends are becoming jealous of the things I'm doing for her, and we're not even dating), that's why I feel like I maybe should just "move on," instead of "moving back."

Any advice from you guys? I'm at a total loss of what I should possibly do here.

mike4cy · 03-30-2007, 12:55 PM

If she isn't totally sure that she wants to be with you, then you don't want to be with her. That kind of a relationship is just bad news for everyone involved. But maybe give her some more time to think on things.

htownclone · 03-30-2007, 12:57 PM

If only Dalilah(sp?) was a CF...

cys_av8r · 03-30-2007, 01:00 PM

You're in college right? I say date as many chics as you can. You have the rest of your life to get into a serious relationship and get married, etc. When I was in school I had a long term GF and the situation sounds similar to what you are doing now. Eventually we broke up and I was able to really experience college like every red-blooded American boy should. Don't waste your college years with one girl. DO IT UP BRUTHA.

JordanHXC · 03-30-2007, 01:01 PM

wow....ummm....wow....no comment

Cyclone62 · 03-30-2007, 01:03 PM

Originally Posted by cys_av8r

You're in college right? I say date as many chics as you can. You have the rest of your life to get into a serious relationship and get married, etc. When I was in school I had a long term GF and the situation sounds similar to what you are doing now. Eventually we broke up and I was able to really experience college like every red-blooded American boy should. Don't waste your college years with one girl. DO IT UP BRUTHA.

Well, I don't think I've missed out on the "college experience" at all. I've been able to do what most people would in college. I'm not the type of person who would sleep with someone that I didn't deeply care about, so "hooking-up" isn't something that I've ever been interested in.

cys_av8r · 03-30-2007, 01:05 PM

Originally Posted by Cyclone62

Well, I don't think I've missed out on the "college experience" at all. I've been able to do what most people would in college. I'm not the type of person who would sleep with someone that I didn't deeply care about, so "hooking-up" isn't something that I've ever been interested in.

I didn't really mean go out and bang as many chics as you can. I just know that long term GFs in college can end up being a drag. Less time with your buddies, jealousy, etc, etc...

Cyclonesrule91 · 03-30-2007, 01:06 PM

Follow your heart because it is usually right more times then not. Sometimes your head uses too much logic, especially if we are talking about "Little Cyclone62"..

mike4cy · 03-30-2007, 01:06 PM

Nothing wrong with not wanting to jump into that "college" experience. I have been with my fiance since 11th grade (now a senior at ISU) and I couldn't be happier.

Cyclone62 · 03-30-2007, 01:06 PM

Originally Posted by cys_av8r

I didn't really mean go out and bang as many chics as you can. I just know that long term GFs in college can end up being a drag. Less time with your buddies, jealousy, etc, etc...

That's not the case though at all. We've basically let each other do what they've wanted to the entire time. If I wanted to go to the Nudie-bars, I can go; same for her. We've never infringed on being with our own friends.

CTAClone · 03-30-2007, 01:07 PM

I think Coach McDermott would post up inside. It would be beneficial to pound it inside against....wait wrong thread/forum. Where am I?

Play hard to get. Don't try and keep her, it will only drive her away.

isumellie · 03-30-2007, 01:08 PM

Originally Posted by Cyclone62

Well, I don't think I've missed out on the "college experience" at all. I've been able to do what most people would in college. I'm not the type of person who would sleep with someone that I didn't deeply care about, so "hooking-up" isn't something that I've ever been interested in.

I have also have had a great college experience so far, and high school for that matter, because I have been with the same wonderful woman since freshman year in high school and I am now a junior at ISU.

My opinion would be if you think that you would want to be with her and she just needs time for herself to feel the same than I would wait for her. This is only a short time of the rest of your life and there is no reason to rush the decision. Something that I think might fit here is "Good Things are Worth Waiting For."

Good Luck!

amyk33 · 03-30-2007, 01:08 PM

I will not pretend to be a relationship expert, but here's my two cents.

I think it is great you care for this girl and have seen the err in your ways. I also think it's awesome that you are trying to better yourself--not for her, but for your own good.

I'm guessing that the girl is just a little conflicted. She probably knows she has a good thing, but perhaps wants to make sure. She could be going through a maybe the "grass is greener" phase. Her friends are probably advising her that she shouldn't trust you just yet b/c the new and improved Cyclone62 will probably go back to his old ways as soon as she accepts you back into her life.

You may need to just ride this one out. If you truly love her, then the wait will be worth it and only make you both stronger in the end. Be careful of moving on too soon b/c then she will feel she is justified for not trusting you. If this continues for more than six months you should maybe think of moving on.

Good luck!

htownclone · 03-30-2007, 01:10 PM

Originally Posted by CTAClone

It would be beneficial to pound it inside.

awful...simply awful

URBCLONE · 03-30-2007, 01:11 PM

Originally Posted by CTAClone

I think Coach McDermott would post up inside. It would be beneficial to pound it inside against....wait wrong thread/forum. Where am I?

Play hard to get. Don't try and keep her, it will only drive her away.

Surest way to get her back; drop some subtle hints you are seeing someone else.