HAWK JOKES!

[dualthreat]

Bump!

[Cyched]

How do you get to Iowa City from Ames?

Go east until you smell it, and then south until you step in it.

[DSM4Cy]

My favorite is still the one about 4 Hawks in a car...of course, who is driving? The cop.

Just a classic, and honestly, so true. Comes maybe more from a few years ago when the crime was a bit more rampant in IC.

[WichitaClone]

Did you hear about the Hawkeye hockey team?



They drowned during spring training.

I chuckled

[VictoryPolka]

Q: What's worse than 10 Hawkeye fans in one dumpster?

A: One Hawkeye fan in 10 dumpsters.

[Cychotiic]

Heard the Hawkeyes were getting a new stadium.

They smoked all the grass and snorted all the lines

[SNEDDS3]

So a hawkeye football player is riding a moped......

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0tXisw8Dp8[/ame]

[isulive2train]

[letsCYber69]

Kinnick stadium is going to an all dirt field this year - because their players (DJK) smoked all the grass and snorted up the white lines.

[woodiemiller]

U know what "IOWA" stands for?
I Oughta Went to Ames!

[cycoticfan]

[QUOTE=Flag Guy;1883583]An Hawkeye football player was bragging to a group of girls that he finished a jigsaw puzzle in only 3 months. One of the girls said,
Winner!

[ljhlax]

The night before the Iowa / Iowa State game, Vandenburg is trying sleep in his room when he hears moaning coming from room next door. Constantly frustrated by his roomate, McNutt's antics, he decides he has had enough. He marches down the hall and starts pounding on the door. A voice calls out "go away, I'm busy" from inside. Fed up, Vandenburg cracks open the door and sees an Iowa Cheerleader kneeling between his roomates legs. Disappointed that his roomate isn't taking his curfue seriously he yells out. "What the heck are you doing? You're gonna blow the game!" The cheerleader springs up with a smile on his face, winks at the two players and says, "Wow, I didn't know you guys knew famous rappers too."

[ljhlax]

I found the Iowa Football entrance exam, pretty interesting stuff.
1. What language is spoken in France?
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions-OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.
3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
(a) build a bridge (b) sail the ocean (c) lead an army or (d) WRITE A PLAY
4. What religion is the Pope?
(a) Jewish (b) Catholic (c) Hindu (d) Polish (e) Agnostic (check only one)
5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters?
6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?
(a) Bed time (b) 5:00 (c) am or pm? (d) Happy hour
7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)
8. What are people in America's far north called?
(a) Westerners (b) Southerners (c) Northerners (d) foreigners
9. Spell -- Bush, Carter and Clinton
10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five.
11. Where does rain come from?
(a) Macy's (b) a 7-11 (c) Canada (d) the sky (e) Prince
12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
(a) yes (b) no (c) He wasn't my relative
13. What are coat hangers used for?
14. The Star Spangled Banner is the National Anthem for what country?
15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium-OR- Just spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS.
16. Where is the basement in a three story building located?
17. Which part of America produces the most oranges?
(a) New York (b) Florida (c) Canada (d) Europe
18. Advanced math.
If you have three apples how many apples do you have?
19. What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corporation) stand for?
20. The University of Iowa's tradition for efficiency began when (approximately)?
(a) B.C. (b) A.D. (c) still waiting
*You must answer three or more questions correctly to qualify
1 fan likes this.

[ljhlax]

Why are University of Iowa chicks so hard to recognize at sporting events? Because there isn't enough room for them to lie down.

Not all Iowa alumni are annoying. Some of them are dead.

Why did Dr. Phil reject the intern applicant from Iowa? Because he answered his erection when asked what's one example of his personal growth in college.

Why did the Iowa Grad get fired from Kinkos? He tried to set the lazer printer on stun.

The difference between Kinnick Stadium and a cactus plant is the plant has ****** on the outside.

Why'd they have to cancel the Iowa football teams autograph signing? They couldn't find any pictures of the players without prisoner numbers on them.

[ketchupnmustard]

James Vandenberg was having trouble putting a jigsaw puzzle together so he asked his football coach for help. "Coach Ferentz, can you help me put together this jigsaw puzzle. It's supposed to be Tony the Tiger, but the pieces just don't seem to fit." Coach Ferentz then says "James, why don't we just put the frosted flakes back in the box."