Monday Musings: July 30, 2012 Edition

[ChrisMWilliams]

Chris Williams' Monday Musings at CycloneFanatic.com: July 30, 2012 Edition | Cyclone Fanatic

[Clonehomer]

Chris, if a 2:30 PM football game gets you out of shopping then your wife is giving in too easily. All black friday shopping is done by noon or 1:00.

Unfortunately for me, this means my wife has now devised a plan to shop in Des Moines rather than Cedar Falls before going to the game.

[ChrisMWilliams]

Chris, if a 2:30 PM football game gets you out of shopping then your wife is giving in too easily. All black friday shopping is done by noon or 1:00.

Unfortunately for me, this means my wife has now devised a plan to shop in Des Moines rather than Cedar Falls before going to the game.

Dude game day is work day for me!

Our pregame show starts 3 hours before kick. Gotta get there an hour before that plus prep, etc. I'm out!!!

[cyhiphopp]

Dude game day is work day for me!

Our pregame show starts 3 hours before kick. Gotta get there an hour before that plus prep, etc. I'm out!!!

If she's got two sisters why the heck does she need you to come with? To hold the shopping bags?

My wife usually goes with her mom while I stay home with the kiddos.

[Cyclophile1]

Dude game day is work day for me!

Our pregame show starts 3 hours before kick. Gotta get there an hour before that plus prep, etc. I'm out!!!

Chris, you are clearly still in the Honeymoon stage. After a few more years you'll be able to casually roll over and grunt when the inevitable 2AM Black Friday tap on the shoulder comes. You'll need to set it up though and this article is a perfect way to ease your way out.

Next year, you can casually say in passing (a month before) "You know honey, I think I'm going to leave the Black Friday madness to the professionals like you and your sisters this year. I know I'm a good pack animal but I don't want to slow you down."

Whatever pushback you get, reluctantly go that year, but you've setup the future. You're paving a road here so stick with me.

The next year, a month before start feigning some lower back pain, but if you're like most of us, you'll probably already have some. That's the play. "Oooh, all these packages are really killing my back..." You still went, pushed through the pain and tried to be helpful but invariably weren't that helpful.

You're probably ready to make your stand at this point. Make sure you do a ton of work this year for Thanksgiving. It would be great it you did most of the meal prep and even volunteer to help with the Turkey if needed. Make sure you are doing a ton of other things too like vacuuming, picking up the house, dusting and whatever else needs to be done in your household. I know what you thinking now. Remember...paving a road. Not gonna happen without some labor. You can now play the "I'm pretty worn out honey" get out of jail free card. If she doesn't recognize how much work you've done, you have deeper issues to work on with her. Most reasonable wives will say something to the effect of "yeah, you pretty much killed yourself yesterday" and give you a kiss on the cheek as they head out the door into the darkness of retail craziness.

Now, in order not to set a precedent with your effort, at the next Thanksgiving you MUST do the following: don't lift a finger. Seriously. You paid in blood the previous year. If asked just casually (no emotion) say, something about not having much fun and not getting to relax much last year. You can also pull your own weight but you generally want to reinforce the idea that you won't be expending quite that much energy every (even though that's a common experience for a lot of ladies at Thanksgiving "Great, a holiday where I get to cook and clean for two days" particularly those of older generations). You're trying set a new precedent for avoiding Black Friday shopping - we're not going to happy by also establishing the precedent that you are going to kill yourself on this grand holiday.

You should be set up now to go (or not) on the shopping spree at your pleasure.

If this has been helpful, please consider supporting your local chapter of The Old Husbands Club - we generally meet 4-5 nights per week at a local pub.

Cheers

[00clone]

bump for front page stamina. Good article this week.

[cyclonepop]

LOL, this is TOO MUCH WORK! Just be a man and stand up for yourself and tell the woman you are not going to go! She will whine, but will also get over it!

"I love you honey, but I am NOT going! Have fun and buy me something special!"

Chris, you are clearly still in the Honeymoon stage. After a few more years you'll be able to casually roll over and grunt when the inevitable 2AM Black Friday tap on the shoulder comes. You'll need to set it up though and this article is a perfect way to ease your way out.

Next year, you can casually say in passing (a month before) "You know honey, I think I'm going to leave the Black Friday madness to the professionals like you and your sisters this year. I know I'm a good pack animal but I don't want to slow you down."

Whatever pushback you get, reluctantly go that year, but you've setup the future. You're paving a road here so stick with me.

The next year, a month before start feigning some lower back pain, but if you're like most of us, you'll probably already have some. That's the play. "Oooh, all these packages are really killing my back..." You still went, pushed through the pain and tried to be helpful but invariably weren't that helpful.

You're probably ready to make your stand at this point. Make sure you do a ton of work this year for Thanksgiving. It would be great it you did most of the meal prep and even volunteer to help with the Turkey if needed. Make sure you are doing a ton of other things too like vacuuming, picking up the house, dusting and whatever else needs to be done in your household. I know what you thinking now. Remember...paving a road. Not gonna happen without some labor. You can now play the "I'm pretty worn out honey" get out of jail free card. If she doesn't recognize how much work you've done, you have deeper issues to work on with her. Most reasonable wives will say something to the effect of "yeah, you pretty much killed yourself yesterday" and give you a kiss on the cheek as they head out the door into the darkness of retail craziness.

Now, in order not to set a precedent with your effort, at the next Thanksgiving you MUST do the following: don't lift a finger. Seriously. You paid in blood the previous year. If asked just casually (no emotion) say, something about not having much fun and not getting to relax much last year. You can also pull your own weight but you generally want to reinforce the idea that you won't be expending quite that much energy every (even though that's a common experience for a lot of ladies at Thanksgiving "Great, a holiday where I get to cook and clean for two days" particularly those of older generations). You're trying set a new precedent for avoiding Black Friday shopping - we're not going to happy by also establishing the precedent that you are going to kill yourself on this grand holiday.

You should be set up now to go (or not) on the shopping spree at your pleasure.

If this has been helpful, please consider supporting your local chapter of The Old Husbands Club - we generally meet 4-5 nights per week at a local pub.

Cheers

[erikbj]

How many of our wives actaully get up to shop this morning / middle of the night? My wife likes to shop and spend my money more than anyone else, but she has never got up for Black Friday.............except she will get up this year so we can start tailgaiting by 6:00am.

[Wesley]

Go shopping ay midnight and get it over with for the game.

[Wesley]

Go shopping at midnight and get it over with for the game.

[ChrisMWilliams]

You guys crack me up! Thanks for the responses. Good stuff.

[CLONECONES]

Next year, you can casually say in passing (a month before) "You know honey, I think I'm going to leave the Black Friday madness to the professionals like you and your sisters this year. I know I'm a good pack animal but I don't want to slow you down."

this is glorius