My favorite was while one of my teammates was rolling around on the ground yelling, "Owwww!" clutching a finger that had gotten crushed between two helmets, the coach yells, "OWWW?! OWWW?! OW'S A GODD*** BIRD, NOW GET OFF YOUR A** AND GET BACK IN THE HUDDLE!!!"
Yes, I know my user name is the Cyclone Fanatic equivalent of a barbed wire bicep tattoo. I'm working on changing it.
"as bad as our defense is playing right now I might just send you all back out there with stop signs and give that a try."
It got the point across.
" You boys are getting beat like a Sunday morning erection."
One my dad heard in college that I've used on multiple occasions:
"God dammit they're runnin' through ya' like the diarrhea!"
This was my all time favorite from High School Practice:
"D-Line, I want you to get in there and plug that A-Hole. Come on, get in there and stuff it!"
Our Defensive coach when referring to what most call the A Gap
men you gotta go out and play like a Raped Ape! got more laughs than anything
one my dad told me...
"Are we gonna have to dip your socks in vinegar to keep the ants from crawling up ya and biting your candy ***???!?!!?!"
kinda long but funny.
Also a favorite that my coach used:
(a kid who was a pre-madonna had realized that his hand warmer-belt thing that Football players wear (see picture) had fallen off soemwhere during practice and instead of listening to the play coach was calling he was looking around for it. what my coach said was)
"don't worry Dalton, my 5 year old daughter has one just like it that you can probably borrow"
much laughter ensued :biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh:
"Crouch like you're crapping (not that word) in a cornfield!"
My favorite from my high school coach -- who happens to be the only coach in the state of Iowa to win state titles in 2 different classes -
While preparing to run our 18th 80 yard sprint --- "Is that a stance or are you taking a ****