A person’s weight, much like any aspect of their life, is not a reflection of their worth. Everyone who tries to be a good person deserves happiness.
However, I say this as a former 280lb person… My weight was absolutely a reflection of my discipline. I didn’t need to have midnight snacks, but I did it anyway. I didn’t need big portions, but I did it anyway. I knew it wasn’t good for me, but I didn’t tell myself “no”.
Yes, I agree that it is a significant psychological issue. I have had some difficult moments in life and found comfort in food. Being fat is unhealthy and I am tired of waking up with back pain and getting winded walking up stairs.
I needed to be the change.
I hear you. I went from 365 to 230 to 265 over the course of about 2 years, and have been holding steady at 265 the last 2 (I'm only 5'8").
Obviously a person who wants to lose weight has to make changes. But the way our society and healthcare systems work, they don't do a good job addressing how our physiology has evolved to keep us alive in times of scarcity.
Food producers take advantage of our physiology to get us to consume more. Frito Lay and Pepsi Co and Little Debbie are all trying to grow their businesses. They can't do that if people are eating healthier. So they are incentivized to create foods that people eat more of. Like midnight snacking - it's not just "lack of discipline," it's the snack companies taking advantage of how your brain responds to food to make you want more.
It also negatively impacts people that they cook less and eat out more. Even when eating "healthy" at a resteraunt, you have less control over what is going into the food. The dressings on a salad are usually super high in fat and sodium and they give you way more than one serving. Even lean proteins are cooked in cheap, low quality fats and have a bunch of sodium added. And the portions are huge, which for cheap people like me is bad because I hate seeing food wasted. I eat more than I want so I'm not "wasting money." I even did/do that at home with our kid.
And this doesn't even touch on the physical activity bit, which takes time and prioritization against a million competing interests from family to work to recreation.
So long story short, yes we have to change at the individual level because there are no societal "guardrails" to help. Meanwhile, there are many things actively working against us.