Where is Dendy?

**Tre4ISU** · 02-15-2010, 02:23 PM

Originally Posted by Clonefan32

Wrong. The passing of a family member takes precedent over a game, period. That is your last chance to pay your final respects to that person, and I know I would have trouble justifying missing the funeral (one event) for a basketball (one of many of the same events of your life). Are you telling me you wouldn't miss a day of work for your grandmother's funeral? Even if you were in the middle of a project, I would imagine most would take some time off work to go home and be with family. How you can blame Dendy for going home to pay respect to his decased grandmother is beyond me.

I agree with you but he is also being compensated for playing here. Not a lot of businesses would give you a week to pay your respects to a great grandmother. I do not blame him for going home for the funeral and obviously I do not know the ins and outs of this story but if the funeral was on Thursday, I would think it would be reasonable for him to get back on Thursday night or Friday sometime. Once again, I do not know all the circumstances but from where I sit and what I know that is my opinion.

**LonoClone** · 02-15-2010, 02:24 PM

Originally Posted by Tedcyclone

i am very disappointed in the missed games by dendy. if my mom died shed want me to play in every game... id play... period. the best, most passionate players, play, and if they have to, play for those they miss... i think this is weak. thats my take... and im guessing thats why he has to find his own way back now. prob not very many happy people in McD's camp about this... however given it was a family death, prob not much they can say.

Shame on you for judging a person on how they deal with grief. We're talking about a game here. Not life or death. A game. Yes, g-mac has come out and said some things that might give us pause about the situation, but we simply don't know enough to be questioning a player's passion. Shame on you.

**Palmer** · 02-15-2010, 02:26 PM

I think the whole situation stinks of funny.....just like the last fours years.

**cyclone13** · 02-15-2010, 02:27 PM

From the Ames Tribune: the University paid for the ticket but since the funeral was pushed back, Dendy couldn't use the original ticket to fly back to Ames/

**Clonefan32** · 02-15-2010, 02:28 PM

Originally Posted by yaman3

I agree with you but he is also being compensated for playing here. Not a lot of businesses would give you a week to pay your respects to a great grandmother. I do not blame him for going home for the funeral and obviously I do not know the ins and outs of this story but if the funeral was on Thursday, I would think it would be reasonable for him to get back on Thursday night or Friday sometime. Once again, I do not know all the circumstances but from where I sit and what I know that is my opinion.

I see your point, but I also believe a Presidential Scholar who is going to ISU for free is not at any risk of losing a scholarship because they go home for a week for a funeral after explaining their situation to professors. It's the same situation. Dendy owes nothing to the University or the team in the way of skipping a family member's funeral.

I also think the "team" part of this is getting overplayed. I would imagine that beyond being teammates, these guys are first and foremost friends. I would encourage any friend of mine to go home despite any of my personal interests. If my friend and I had planned a vacation or something of the sort, I would still encourage them to go home for a funeral, despite our plans. I know this comparission is not exactly the same as the situation at hand, but I really believe that as friends the other guys on the team understand the situation and likely support Dendy.

**JRE1975** · 02-15-2010, 02:29 PM

Based on watching the presser this morning, the school got the NCAA hardship fund to pay for the ticket to the funeral and then to Columbia, MO for the game. I travel a lot and understand to use the ticket on another flight you have to tell the airline before the scheduled departure. The frustration appears to come from Dendy not making the effort to change the ticket before the time of the flight, therefore the ticket home (or to Columbia) is worthless, and he is on his own to get back to Ames. If you have ever tried to book a flight in or out of DSM on short notice, you know you are looking at over $1,000!

No one can help him under the rules now, and it sounds like he could not get a cheap enough flight home until late tonight.

Unfortunately the rules are the rules, and my guess is someone on the staff explained all this to him, and he did something else.

**Steve** · 02-15-2010, 02:30 PM

Originally Posted by Clonefan32

Wrong. The passing of a family member takes precedent over a game, period. That is your last chance to pay your final respects to that person, and I know I would have trouble justifying missing the funeral (one event) for a basketball (one of many of the same events of your life). Are you telling me you wouldn't miss a day of work for your grandmother's funeral? Even if you were in the middle of a project, I would imagine most would take some time off work to go home and be with family. How you can blame Dendy for going home to pay respect to his decased grandmother is beyond me.

I've done just such a thing and have never felt the least amount of remorse about it. My case involved my grandfather's funeral rather than a great grandmother. It wasn't a situation of not being close to my grandfather - far from it. I was fortunate that my family knew that I didn't have to be present physically for a few hours at a funeral to appreciate the impact that my grandfather had on my upbringing.

If it had been a parent or sibling in my case, I would have held up the start-up of a large plant for the 2 or 3 days that it would have taken to return from the project site in Europe. I was not about to do this for a grandparent and would not have even considered it for a great grand parent.

For me it came down not only to the responsibilities that one has to the needs of their family, but also to the support that a family has to the responsibilities of each other. Everyone's situation is different. I won't come down hard on Dendy without knowing all of the details. At the same time, I'm not simply going to give him a free pass based on the timetable of what is known at this point.

**Tedcyclone** · 02-15-2010, 02:30 PM

Originally Posted by LonoClone

Shame on you for judging a person on how they deal with grief. We're talking about a game here. Not life or death. A game. Yes, g-mac has come out and said some things that might give us pause about the situation, but we simply don't know enough to be questioning a player's passion. Shame on you.

well read all my responses, i would let him miss every game if he had too... id just wish to have a team full of players that would play through it.. thats all. just like im sure wed all love a team full of lebrons and kobes.. probably not going to happen in todays world for athletes, but id wish for different. my opinion. i dont shame you for thinking the opposite, i just dont share your view. i agree on one thing, we dont have the whole picture at all... so this is a very very limited opinion based on small tid bits of fact. thats a message board for you though.

**Clonefan32** · 02-15-2010, 02:31 PM

Originally Posted by LonoClone

Shame on you for judging a person on how they deal with grief. We're talking about a game here. Not life or death. A game. Yes, g-mac has come out and said some things that might give us pause about the situation, but we simply don't know enough to be questioning a player's passion. Shame on you.

I completley agree. Who knows how much grief he is experiencing. Some people, by his age, have lost several family members, and some have lost none. This could be the first death he has experienced as a young adult, and at this moment in time basketball could be the furthest thing in the mind. We just don't know, so I would tend to err on the side of compassion rather than cyncism in this situation.

**Clonehomer** · 02-15-2010, 02:31 PM

Originally Posted by yaman3

I agree with you but he is also being compensated for playing here. Not a lot of businesses would give you a week to pay your respects to a great grandmother. I do not blame him for going home for the funeral and obviously I do not know the ins and outs of this story but if the funeral was on Thursday, I would think it would be reasonable for him to get back on Thursday night or Friday sometime. Once again, I do not know all the circumstances but from where I sit and what I know that is my opinion.

Actually, a lot of businesses do give bereavement pay. A week maybe not, but 3-4 days was pretty typical of where I have worked. And getting back was probably pretty difficult due to the snow that dumped on that area over the last week.

**Tre4ISU** · 02-15-2010, 02:32 PM

Originally Posted by Clonefan32

I see your point, but I also believe a Presidential Scholar who is going to ISU for free is not at any risk of losing a scholarship because they go home for a week for a funeral after explaining their situation to professors. It's the same situation. Dendy owes nothing to the University or the team in the way of skipping a family member's funeral.

I also think the "team" part of this is getting overplayed. I would imagine that beyond being teammates, these guys are first and foremost friends. I would encourage any friend of mine to go home despite any of my personal interests. If my friend and I had planned a vacation or something of the sort, I would still encourage them to go home for a funeral, despite our plans. I know this comparission is not exactly the same as the situation at hand, but I really believe that as friends the other guys on the team understand the situation and likely support Dendy.

I don't think anyone is saying he should have skipped the funeral, at least I'm not. I am saying a week is a long time for a great grandmothers funeral. I don't really like your presidential scholar point because they will still have to do all of their work. I wouldn't even say he "owes" it to his team but I would like to think we have the type of guys that would do everything they could to get back. Gilstrap took very little time away from the team when he was given a similar situation. I know everyone is different and I really do understand your point, I just have a different one I guess.

**Clonefan32** · 02-15-2010, 02:32 PM

Originally Posted by Steve

I've done just such a thing and have never felt the least amount of remorse about it. My case involved my grandfather's funeral rather than a great grandmother. It wasn't a situation of not being close to my grandfather - far from it. I was fortunate that my family knew that I didn't have to be present physically for a few hours at a funeral to appreciate the impact that my grandfather had on my upbringing.

If it had been a parent or sibling in my case, I would have held up the start-up of a large plant for the 2 or 3 days that it would have taken to return from the project site in Europe. I was not about to do this for a grandparent and would not have even considered it for a great grand parent.

For me it came down not only to the responsibilities that one has to the needs of their family, but also to the support that a family has to the responsibilities of each other. Everyone's situation is different. I won't come down hard on Dendy without knowing all of the details. At the same time, I'm not simply going to give him a free pass based on the timetable of what is known at this point.

To each their own, but no one is in a position to judge his decision because no one knows what he is going through.

**Tedcyclone** · 02-15-2010, 02:34 PM

Originally Posted by Clonefan32

I see your point, but I also believe a Presidential Scholar who is going to ISU for free is not at any risk of losing a scholarship because they go home for a week for a funeral after explaining their situation to professors. It's the same situation. Dendy owes nothing to the University or the team in the way of skipping a family member's funeral.

I also think the "team" part of this is getting overplayed. I would imagine that beyond being teammates, these guys are first and foremost friends. I would encourage any friend of mine to go home despite any of my personal interests. If my friend and I had planned a vacation or something of the sort, I would still encourage them to go home for a funeral, despite our plans. I know this comparission is not exactly the same as the situation at hand, but I really believe that as friends the other guys on the team understand the situation and likely support Dendy.

i also will support dendys decision, and i would never take away his scholie... even if he missed again. i just dont agree with the way this happened. i would have done it differently for sure. but we will never have to worry about that because no way am i getting a schollie to play basketball. :)

**Tre4ISU** · 02-15-2010, 02:35 PM

Originally Posted by Clonehomer

Actually, a lot of businesses do give bereavement pay. A week maybe not, but 3-4 days was pretty typical of where I have worked. And getting back was probably pretty difficult due to the snow that dumped on that area over the last week.

3-4 days for a great grandmother? I don't know how close he was to her, not at all, but I know with my company I get 3 days for an immediate family member and 1 for any other family. Of course, I am with my first company and really our time off is ****ed up, but you see my point. The weather could definately be a factor though, good point.