Baby/Sleep question

**BryceC** · 09-26-2010, 12:29 AM

I have been trying to find answers to my question on this online for a while but there is so much flat crazy stuff on the internet I don't think it's trustworthy... so where do I turn but CF?

Anyway, I have a baby who will be 7 weeks on Tuesday and he does not sleep well in a crib. Dude will lay there for a few minutes with a pacifier in his mouth but as soon as it drops out he screams. At that point we usually let him wail for a while before picking him up. He'll usually immediately stop crying and will be asleep within a minute or two so I know he's tired.

We lay him down knowing that he's fed, changed, we usually bundle him up a bit so it's not so cold, etc. but nothing seems to help. One of us usually goes downstairs and sleeps on the couch with him in his rocker swing because he'll sleep in that for a short while. But my wife goes back to work in a week and a half and this can't keep happening then.

I guess my question is, at what point do you just let him lay there until he cries himself to sleep no matter the time? I don't know what the answer is here, all I know is I'd love to be sleeping right now.

**isucyfan** · 09-26-2010, 12:35 AM

My first boy was exactly like that, for a lot longer than 7 weeks. He slept with us in his bed for a long time.

It really comes down to personal preference. Many people have a "family bed"...in fact it's the norm in most cultures. We were of the mindset that those first weeks/months were the bonding months, and if our kids wanted to be close to us while sleeping, then so be it. I was the one that finally got tired of it, and we had to let him cry a bit...but we felt better about it somehow knowing that he was a few months old, not a few weeks old.

Some parents put their kids in a crib from day one and let him/her cry it out, and that's OK, too...it's whatever suits your parenting style. We didn't do it right away for feeding convenience and bonding, though.

**Cyclonepride** · 09-26-2010, 12:37 AM

I wish I had an answer for you. My little dude had ear infections consistently, and he eventually made his way into bed with us. All I can say is- that works, but don't do it. It's hard to get them adjusted back to sleeping by themselves. The "right" answer is to let him cry himself out, but it's hard to do.

**Mr Janny** · 09-26-2010, 12:38 AM

Originally Posted by BryceC

I have been trying to find answers to my question on this online for a while but there is so much flat crazy stuff on the internet I don't think it's trustworthy... so where do I turn but CF?

Anyway, I have a baby who will be 7 weeks on Tuesday and he does not sleep well in a crib. Dude will lay there for a few minutes with a pacifier in his mouth but as soon as it drops out he screams. At that point we usually let him wail for a while before picking him up. He'll usually immediately stop crying and will be asleep within a minute or two so I know he's tired.

We lay him down knowing that he's fed, changed, we usually bundle him up a bit so it's not so cold, etc. but nothing seems to help. One of us usually goes downstairs and sleeps on the couch with him in his rocker swing because he'll sleep in that for a short while. But my wife goes back to work in a week and a half and this can't keep happening then.

I guess my question is, at what point do you just let him lay there until he cries himself to sleep no matter the time? I don't know what the answer is here, all I know is I'd love to be sleeping right now.

it's fun isn't it? Our daughter is just over 9 weeks old, and had some of those issues as well. Have you ever considered investing in a co-sleeper bed? Basically, it's a little crib, that can be attached to the side of your bed. The side closest to your bed is open, so you have access to the child, and can touch/comfort them without getting out of bed.
The one we got cost around $150, I think, but there are cheaper ones out there.

Just an idea.

Also, I've learned in my short time as a father, that consistent sleep just isn't a luxury I have at this point.

**InCytful** · 09-26-2010, 12:41 AM

IMHO babies are just like the rest of us, they get into a pattern and once in it that's what they expect each time. Usually between 3 and 6 months they get into better sleep cycles and it's easier on you. My girls went through times where it was tough to get them to sleep, though I found it easier with the second one than the first as we knew more of what to expect. When you find what works for you and gets them to sleep on their own, keep it up. You'll get through it. Good luck.

**isucyfan** · 09-26-2010, 12:42 AM

I'm a big fan of Dr. Sears and his attachment parenting methods, so I'll link his thoughts on co-sleeping:

SAFE CO-SLEEPING

I'd invite you to look over his other sleep problem articles as well as his whole site, if you like what you see.

**BryceC** · 09-26-2010, 12:49 AM

I'm not even greedy enough for consistent sleep. Some sleep would be great. I am almost positive my wife hasn't slept more than 2 hours in a shot or 5 hours in a day for 7 weeks.

As far as sleeping in the bed with us, no way it happens, it's not even an option. Once I am asleep, usually I am very hard to wake up and I move a lot. I'd sleep less from constant fear of rolling on him and crushing him. Also, any sort of attachment to the bed is probably out for that very reason, plus we have a dog and he is used to sleeping in the bed and I'd be afraid of him jumping on/in it.

Maybe I'm a cold-hearted SOB, but I have no problem letting him cry it out. I just don't know if it's a good thing or not or how long we can expect it to take. I mean is he going to cry for 3 hours? It just doesn't seem like it'd be healthy. If anybody had some suggestions for a good book or article on it that would be great because all I can find online is crazed rantings.

**isucyfan** · 09-26-2010, 12:54 AM

Originally Posted by BryceC

Maybe I'm a cold-hearted SOB, but I have no problem letting him cry it out. I just don't know if it's a good thing or not or how long we can expect it to take. I mean is he going to cry for 3 hours? It just doesn't seem like it'd be healthy. If anybody had some suggestions for a good book or article on it that would be great because all I can find online is crazed rantings.

When I first had my oldest cry it out in the crib, he cried so hard he puked...we decided to let him sleep with us for awhile longer then! It went much smoother later.

It's not going to hurt him to have him cry it out...it's more about what you and your wife can handle at this point.

As for a good source, here's a "cry it out" article by the aforementioned Dr. Sears:

FUSSY BABY

**3TrueFans** · 09-26-2010, 01:19 AM

7 weeks is way too early to let them cry it out IMO, a baby that young has no way of calming themselves in order to go to sleep. Most things I've seen say somewhere around 5 months old. I would look into the co-sleeper bed thing that Mr Janny talked about.

For the first month or 2 my wife and I slept in shifts while the other was holding our son in the recliner in the living room, it sucked, maybe it wasn't "right", but it allowed us to get sleep and eventually he started sleeping in his crib just fine.

**mikeiastat** · 09-26-2010, 01:48 AM

ours was a premie, but we invested in a co-sleeper and we're very happy with the trade off. I don't know if we were not worried about making sure that he was breathing that we would have bought his 4th piece of sleeping furniture, but I'm glad we did.

I would recommend the co-sleeper for any newborn if momma's going to nurse. (knowing what I know now) The co-sleeper is a great middle ground. I agree never let a newborn sleep in the bed with the parents. very dangerous.

**Angie** · 09-26-2010, 05:02 AM

I strongly recommend the article isucyfan posted from Dr. Sears. We do attachment parenting in our house, too. IMO, letting a baby cry it out teaches them nothing except that their caregivers won't come if they need you. A 7 week old isn't old enough to manipulate.

Almost every society besides ours supports the family bed. Get some Magic Bumpers, and put him on the other side of your wife, would be my recommendation, and the Dr. Sears recommendation. Baby shouldn't be in the middle of the bed. Another note - SIDS is called "crib death" because it is truly almost unheard of in societies with family beds. It happens so infrequently in China that they don't have a name for it.

If you truly don't think that setup will work, look into a Pacimal or Wubbanub.on the internet. They tend to keep binky in place. I would also recommend "The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Babies." Lots of great ideas that don't involve letting him cry it out - there are some babies who WILL cry for three hours.

I hope you aren't offended by my soapbox - I just feel really strongly about this.

**Angie** · 09-26-2010, 05:28 AM

Some more ideas:

Try a tight swaddle. Some babies respond well. We no longer swaddle A at 9 weeks because we want her to work on motor skills, but it can help.

If he has colic, maybe try gripe water before putting him down.

A warm bath and a towel fresh from the dryer may also help.

**Cyclonepride** · 09-26-2010, 06:53 AM

The sleeping in shifts thing is a good idea- since I was going to work, I always got up with my son any time up until 2 am. Knowing you can get 4 uninterrupted hours of sleep helps a lot.

**Clonefever** · 09-26-2010, 07:14 AM

I would recommend the miracle blanket! Our son didn't love it at first, but to this day is a very good sleeper. Also, our son had colic and I didn't think the gripe water worked.

**isucyfan** · 09-26-2010, 07:23 AM

I know it's not a solution to your problem, but the other thing to keep in mind is that before you know it, this issue will be a distant memory. When you're in the midst of it, it seems like it will never end, but soon it will be in your rearview mirror.

I know that's of little consolation at 3AM on a work night, but it's true.