For a good laugh

Choosing a wife

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.


The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.



The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much..

Again, the man is impressed.


The third invests the money in the stock market She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.



Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.


Then he married the one with the biggest ****.

Men are like that, you know.






And on another note!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

http://i47.tinypic.com/2iut1fm.jpg

A wealthy man in a fancy sports car pulls into a farmer's driveway one day. He struts up to the farmer and says, "are you the farmer who has the 3 beautiful daughters I've heard about?" The farmer nods his head yes. The man says, "along with being rich and wildly successful, I am also the best looking man I know. I wish to marry the perfect woman so that we can raise the best looking children in the world. If one of your daughters meets my standards, I will pay you $1,000,000 if you allow me to marry her." The farmer thinks about it for a moment, then calls his daughters outside.

The rich man sees before him 3 of the most perfect, stunning women he has ever seen. He begins to look at each very closely. After looking at the 1st, he turns to the farmer and says, "she is truly a beautiful women, but she's just the tiniest bit, not so you could hardly notice, cross-eyed." The girl turns around and walks back in the house. The rich man turns his attention to the 2nd girl. After careful examination he turns to the farmer and says, "this one is even more beautiful than the last, but she's just the tiniest bit, not so you could hardly notice, pigeon toed." The 2nd girls goes back in the house. Finally he gets around to the 3rd girl. After pouring over every inch of her, he turns to the farmer and says, "this is the woman I've been looking for. She is absolutely perfect. If you'll allow it, we will be married tomorrow and you will have your money." The farmer agrees and 2 days later, the money is in the bank and his daughter is off with her new husband.

A few months later, the farmer receives a call that his daughter is in labor. He drives into the city to be a part of the big day. After a few hours, the rich man comes bursting into the waiting room, nearly in tears. He looks at the farmer and says, "I am the most handsome man I know and I married the perfect woman. I can't understand how the 2 of us could produce the ugliest baby I have ever seen." The farmer walks up to his son-in-law, rests a hand on his shoulder, and says, "well son, she was just the tiniest bit, no so you could hardly notice, pregnant when you married her."

Ba-dum-ching. Tip your bartender.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ca4cy

A wealthy man in a fancy sports car pulls into a farmer's driveway one day. He struts up to the farmer and says, "are you the farmer who has the 3 beautiful daughters I've heard about?" The farmer nods his head yes. The man says, "along with being rich and wildly successful, I am also the best looking man I know. I wish to marry the perfect woman so that we can raise the best looking children in the world. If one of your daughters meets my standards, I will pay you $1,000,000 if you allow me to marry her." The farmer thinks about it for a moment, then calls his daughters outside.

The rich man sees before him 3 of the most perfect, stunning women he has ever seen. He begins to look at each very closely. After looking at the 1st, he turns to the farmer and says, "she is truly a beautiful women, but she's just the tiniest bit, not so you could hardly notice, cross-eyed." The girl turns around and walks back in the house. The rich man turns his attention to the 2nd girl. After careful examination he turns to the farmer and says, "this one is even more beautiful than the last, but she's just the tiniest bit, not so you could hardly notice, pigeon toed." The 2nd girls goes back in the house. Finally he gets around to the 3rd girl. After pouring over every inch of her, he turns to the farmer and says, "this is the woman I've been looking for. She is absolutely perfect. If you'll allow it, we will be married tomorrow and you will have your money." The farmer agrees and 2 days later, the money is in the bank and his daughter is off with her new husband.

A few months later, the farmer receives a call that his daughter is in labor. He drives into the city to be a part of the big day. After a few hours, the rich man comes bursting into the waiting room, nearly in tears. He looks at the farmer and says, "I am the most handsome man I know and I married the perfect woman. I can't understand how the 2 of us could produce the ugliest baby I have ever seen." The farmer walks up to his son-in-law, rests a hand on his shoulder, and says, "well son, she was just the tiniest bit, no so you could hardly notice, pregnant when you married her."

Ba-dum-ching. Tip your bartender.

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