On the other hand, (though perhaps I'm sensitive,) foster homes seem to be practically vilified in popular entertainment (crime dramas and similar). Too many times I've seen foster parents portrayed as spoiling their own children while their foster kids get the Harry Potter treatment.
The truth is -- there isn't really any way I can think of where a child is placed in foster care that isn't -- troubled. It could be their behavior directly that gets them legally removed from their home. More often it's their parents -- whether criminal activity (meth labs) or child abuse/neglect. We had to pick up a child from a policeman once -- at the police station where her mother was just arrested. Once a teenager came to our home that said some -- unpleasant things to the social worker. Most of the time they're just kids who don't want to be in your home for the simple and obvious reasons (it's not their choice to be there) -- unrelated to the treatment they are receiving. Runaway attempts are very common, as are false abuse accusations.
I am glad that you acted and didn't just walk the other way or something.
It sounds like you did the right thing. I'm going to guess that their case worker will take an extra-close look at the situation and make sure everything is okay.
The other posters hit the nail on the head, though. You're not ever put in foster care because you've had an easy life, you know? This child likely was neglected or abused (I believe it's usually neglect), but most children still just want their mommy and/or daddy. Being a foster parent is incredibly hard work, with children who have been damaged - it's sad and awful that people can mistreat children, but it's the truth. I hope that nothing bad was happening in your situation, and that the little girl can find a happy place with her new family.
Thanks Ted. Like I said before, I just havent been around them enough to understand that its "common" for a child to be like that. I dont want it to sound like I was trying to intrude on these peoples lives. I just didnt want to be the person that turned my head and acted like nothing happened. I just wanted to see how many people had experiences with these kind of children and couldnt help me understand the situation a little better. Thanks to all that have contributed, has been very helpful.
Listening to their account of the first couple months of fostering, it was clear this girl was from a low-life white trash family who's biological parents didn't care.
The girl was also fostered prior and PLAYED THE SYSTEM on our friends....which is to play little mind games, guilt trips, and the sympathy card with their fostering parents, in order to get her way
On the other hand, I have run across people that foster 2-3 kids at a time, and do this year round specifically FOR THE GOV'T CHECK $$$. They have no scruples
I don't understand what grounds you had to actually call the cops. On a hunch? Kids say that they hate being somewhere, hate an adult, or hate parents, or their house for a myriad of reasons. Unless you heard or saw something that looked like actual abuse, I don't think you had grounds to call the police at all.
For the OP, I think you did the right thing....calling the PD. It is their job to take in information and respond. Sharing what you saw/heard is appropriate, not what you think could be happening. You could have been the first to report something like this about this child or family, or the tenth...the police/DHS sort all of that out.
As many others have shared, many times foster kids have had a rough go/life and sometimes the fosters are doing things (parenting) that the kids are not used to.
I grew up next to a foster home and most of the kids were in/out of the place (imagine how hard that is on a kid, changing schools, environments, etc) and were many times the "bad kids" on the school bus (in hindsight, probably a lot of survival instinct).
I still remember when I was about 6-7 years old one of the kids sat by me on the bus and invited me over. I went over and and did the typical "what should we play?" type of question and he proceeded to get a shoe box out to show me his toys...and that was all he had...and at the time I couldn't understand how someone couldn't have more toys...but that always stuck with me.
My grandparents were foster parents when I was a kid. I remember hearing stories about one kid whose parents had abused him and frequently would lock him in his room with no dinner. Every morning at breakfast he would fill a hat with Cheerios and take it to his room just in case.
Some of the foster kids turn out well though. One treats my grandparents almost as if they were her real parents and more than one of them still like to meet with them every now and then.
Yeah he did what he could have/ should have. Maybe I've watched too much CSI and Criminal Minds, but . . .
Aclone. Wow. If you really are trying to verbally joust...go ahead and bring it on. The asbestos from mommy's basement must be getting to you.
Sounds like a situation that it was better to error on the side of caution and you did the right thing IMHO.
My wife and I had over a dozen different foster children over a 10 year period. Several of them had some unbelievably horrific lives. Several of them literally hated everything in existence. It is difficult to judge them by normal social standards.