Something more serious......Where we're at

[CycloneErik]

I'm loving the other threads right now. Great comedy relief, and we're thankful for everyone playing around with that stuff. That said, WARNING, don't read any further unless you're prepared for something intensely sad. Since we've been here so long, we know so many of you and word is leaking out a little bit, I thought I'd share the latest surprise for revkah and I. Frankly, this is kind of for us, too, while we learn to deal with it. I'll insert some spaces here like a spoiler alert. If you don't want it, don't look down.












For the last several months, revkah and I have been looking forward to the birth of our little miracle girl. At every step of the way, we've seen friends, family, and God provide things that we never thought were possible. We couldn't conceive a child, and did. We couldn't afford all the things that come along, but they're all here. Our apartment couldn't handle one more, but we reconfigured the place into a dwelling ready for an energetic arrival.

Medically, we've been acing every test all the way through. Two weeks ago, our doctor described us and our girl as his dream patients. We came in every time excited and happy, stress-free, and told countless jokes as we developed a wonderful relationship with our doctor. Every time he checked for her heartbeat, the sound of her powerful little heart filled that exam room.

We reached full term on Friday. The doctor smiled while he told us that we are now at the point where they don't stop labor. We did the checks. Revkah and the baby aced them all. We prepped for the formality of the doppler check for the baby's heartbeat. I kidded the doctor about his poor art skills with the goopy stuff, he kidded about it, and we all took this thing for granted. We knew that we would hear that powerful little heart in 2-3 seconds no matter what he did....

Then we didn't. And we still didn't. Our amazingly calm, happy doctor started to change his expression, and started to search for that heartbeat. All of us started to realize that the game was different now. He went to get a portable ultrasound, ran that machine, and still we heard nothing.

He told us that he was going to check with the bigger ultrasound for a more powerful scan. It took several minutes, because there were things out there to coordinate. We took the time to talk about the obvious nature of the results ahead of us. In our check with the bigger machine, we saw the ribs, but the heart behind was not beating at all. At some point that's absolutely impossible to detect or know, our little girl's heart stopped and she passed away. She was gone, and that dream was over.

So we were admitted right away into Mary Greeley, and spent the weekend preparing to deliver or deceased child. Thankfully, that went quickly and amazingly smooth. We got to have some pictures and some time with our family and our beautiful little girl. For what it was, it was awesome. Of course, it leads to some moments you never want, like filling out a death certificate application for your baby, as well as phone calls/visits with a funeral home and time planning a funeral, but we've seen a lot of blessings along the way.

A couple of things that we really learned in the process:
1) We know a whole lot of awesome loving people all over the world.
2) revkah moved from simply being my wife, best friend, and partner into being my hero.
3) We can't wait for daughter #2, whenever she comes around.
4) Planning a funeral can actually bring a lot of joy into your life that you never expect.
5) My professors know me, and they're quite blunt that there's no reason for me to be in class this week, so we can sit here and deal with it (which sounds a little odd, since I'm on here).

Sorry about the book. We just thought we'd share, and then make fun of the crony credit system again. We may get started on coupons pretty soon, because that's another arm of the CW conspiracy.

[KFitzy87]

Said it in my rep, but I respect the hell out of you and revkah. You sound like top notch people. Best of wishes to you guys.

[zwclones51]

Sorry to hear about your loss. Sister had a miscarriage, I can't even imagine

[DurangoCy]

Sorry for your loss.

[BallSoHard4Cy]

How do I rep on this now? I know this is just a computer rep, but someone like you deserves a noble prize. Sorry for your loss, I'm sure that was difficult to share.

[peteypie]

sorry for your loss.

[Clonophilia]

Know that I am praying for you.

[Hawkeye11en1]

My condolences Erik & Rev. Hardest thing ever.

[TheCaptain]

Oh my God.I never expected this.I have been waiting for the good news.
Both of you have always been a couple of my favorites so maybe thats why this tears me up
so much.
Stay strong.GOD Bless both of you.

[CycloneErik]

Oh my God.I never expected this.I have been waiting for the good news.
Both of you have always been a couple of my favorites so maybe thats why this tears me up
so much.
Stay strong.GOD Bless both of you.

Thanks! We've been torn on whether to write that or not, but we know that a lot of people knew/were waiting for the good news. At that point, you're kind of stuck.

I wrote it holding a pink teddy bear. I'm proud to admit it

[iacyguy]

So sorry for your loss. Praying for you and your wife

[simply1]

My condolences, can't even imagine what you 2 went through there, but am glad you have a loving support network with you.

[flycy]

Sorry to hear this. Went through a miscarriage ourselves, although not near this late term, and then had 2 more wonderful children.

[MLawrence]

Sad to hear about this. Thoughts and prayers for yourself and Cyrev.

[MLawrence]

Also, thank you for letting us, the CF community, into your lives since I am sure that we are mostly strangers to you. I know you didn't have to type this out, and I admire the strength that it took for you to type such thing. Thanks, again.