Stupidest things you've ever heard

[flynnhicks03]

The Beatles are the worst band in history. Sorry off topic.... Had to vent their for a minute.

Actually, this is right on topic...

[Cyclones_R_GR8]

I just heard this. A blonde just asked the bartender if he saw the full moon. She then asked him "Do you know why it is full"?
She then answered her own question with "It's full because of the flooding in New York".
You can't make stuff like that up.

[jdoggivjc]

My wife made me shake my head on Sunday.

We crossed an intersection where they were installing new lights, and in the Detroit Metro they hang the lights from cables. Since they were still being installed, they had the bottoms of the lights still attached to the cable so the light was facing the road instead of oncoming traffic.

Anyway, my wife thought this was done intentionally and said, "That's not good - how is anyone supposed to see the light?" I could only shake my head.

[ken]

I just heard this. A blonde just asked the bartender if he saw the full moon. She then asked him "Do you know why it is full"?
She then answered her own question with "It's full because of the flooding in New York".
You can't make stuff like that up.

Blondes are brilliant!

Miss Teen USA 2007 - South Carolina answers a question - YouTube

[CyOps]

Former co-worker and first time parent: "I'm always picking up the kid to see if she's lighter, you know, to see if she pooped."

Other workers were all looking at each other, then one said, "is she still wearing the diaper when you pick her up to see if she's lighter?"

"Yeah, why?"

[Go2Guy]

in the History of Rock and Roll after we did the Beatles day...

"So your telling me Paul McCartney was in another band other than Wings?"

I never laughed so hard in my life.

Wait, wha......t? First, you mean to tell me you got college credit for a class called, "History of Rock-n-Roll"? and second you're telling me somebody really didn't know about McCartney?

[terryleebr]

Wait, wha......t? First, you mean to tell me you got college credit for a class called, "History of Rock-n-Roll"? and second you're telling me somebody really didn't know about McCartney?

The commie hater?

[ISUCubswin]

Wait, wha......t? First, you mean to tell me you got college credit for a class called, "History of Rock-n-Roll"? and second you're telling me somebody really didn't know about McCartney?

Dan McCartney was in a Rock-n-Roll band?

[Pitt_Clone]

Dan McCartney was in a Rock-n-Roll band?

No but Dave McCartney was.

[MeanDean]

The Beatles are the worst band in history. Sorry off topic.... Had to vent their for a minute.

Check out some Led Zeppelin - there wright up they're.

My entry, and my brother and I still laugh about this. When we were teenagers some friend of his was telling us he always bought gas at the highest priced station in town (Standard). We asked him why he did that since they weren't really rolling in the dough. His response, "A dollar's worth of gas is a dollar's worth of gas."

[cydsho]

At a resort in Jamaica and getting another rum punch at the bar when overhead this conversation,
Man (U.S. citizen): "what kind of beer do you have?"
Bartender (a jamaican): "We have the best beer in the world, red stripe."
Man:"ok, but do you have anything domestic?"

[CyArob]

The theme of the article overall has good meaning behind, it but one statement really sticks out to how little DSMReg knows about Iowa State football and college football in general.
'More than anything, he saw a football player when few others did. Undersized? The coach didn’t care.'

Does anyone really think that Knott as a LBer is undersized?? Maybe coming into college, but not many true freshmen are at playing weight right away, I would hardly consider him undersized now though, 6'3" 252, to me that is an NFL sized LBer. To me statements like that though overall the article is not meant this way, come across as disrespectful to Iowa State football.... Writers like this need to be researched a lot more.

^ I think this qualifies.

[reignofthetiger]

Smalltown Nebraska guy I was working with on a field project swears on his bible that the Hubble telescope spotted a planet-sized spaceship about 300,000 years away that is filled with people that are coming to repopulate the earth after Armageddon. I didn't even know how to respond so I just pretended I couldn't hear him over the truck engine.

[everyyard]

I was in a little diner in southern iowa on RAGBRAI and we were talking to the young (20's) waitress. She wasn't much to look at but her sister was, and she was also a waitress. So we inquired as to what her sister's name was. She says something like "Charmain." Her accent was really brutal. I say, "Sharmaine?" She looks at me like I am an idiot and says, "Charmae! She ain't black." To which I reply, "Yeah, Charmae is clearly a white name."

Not trying to offend white people, black people, or southern Iowa hick low IQ girls.

[bugs4cy]

When someone says something *really* idiotic I kind of freeze up, like a deer in the headlights.

About a decade ago I was working at the dreaded DNR doing livestock regulations - was when public sentiment concerning hog confinement was at the peak of negativity. I was meeting with a group of engineers at ISU, talking about cattle open lots and disposal of the 'brown water' in the settling basins. A well-regarded engineer suffers some kind of brainfart and offers up the idea that row crop farmers could put in underground irrigation systems and pop- sprinllers and apply it to their crops. This is so stupid I don't have words! How the heck are normal field operations going to open with buried irrigation pipe? So, I choose to just ignore and pretend he never said that. Everyone else in the room followed my lead. But, he would give up. This time he said it much more forcefully and louder. The room just stopped and we all stared at him. I finally managed to say, "Ahhh, tillage?" He thought about that for I'm sure was a few seconds, but seemed like eternity, and replied, "Oh yah, good point." The meeting resumed like nothing happened.

The meeting concluded and I walked out with a couple of folks. No one said a word about what happened until we were about 100 yards away from Davidson Hall and then we lost it and laughed till we cried. Good times. To this day my husband (he works in the beef industry) and I will offer up the hey-let's-install-irrigation-pipe or just pop-up-sprinklers idea at random times, similar to I-love-lamp and it never fails to make us laugh.

This timeframe in the DNR provided me with ample opportunity to hear lots of wackadoodle things. One of the more memorable was a public meeting where a very elderly woman testified that her grandkids' fingernails fell off because they were exposed to the smell of hog manure. Again, I was struck speechless.