Reasons to have children?

**benjay** · 11-05-2012, 07:42 AM

Originally Posted by Erik4Cy

wrong. having children has NOTHING. and I mean NOTHING to do with "desire." People act like it is so amazing to have children and it needs to be broadcasted on facebook (every living second from childbirth to how i taught Jimmy to not eat crayons.)

Some people need to go back and listen to George Carlin's standup. love him or hate him. He's right. having children is not some amazing thing that you just found out about. Any ******* can have a kid and has done it since the beginning of time. I may sound jaded but i happen to agree with him. I love listening to people who have kids and brag about them like they are the most important thing in the world....It's really not a big deal.

Having a kid = you chose to do it...SOOOO: you deal with it....AAAANNNDDD: Stop telling stories like other people CARE about your kids...because: they reason you can HAVE kids is because that you are the only one that cares about them. Your neighbors, your coworkers DO NOT CARE or WANT to see pictures of your kids. It's harsh reality but it's true. (they'll lie to your face about caring.)

I will have kids, believe it. But I won't spend any time expecting others to follow me on twitter and facebook as well as look at every stupid pic I have to share about my kid with the world as if they are the most special thing in everyone's life.

Guess you will all rip on me for being a jerk, but just realize this parents: No One Cares About Your Kids...that's why YOU get to have them.

Right on! In fact, why tell anyone about the awesome weekend you had? THEY DIDNT LIVE IT AND THEY DONT CARE. Dont bother telling them your best friend or your parent tragically died. NOT THEIR PROBLEM. In fact dont hold meaningful conversation or relationships at all. Your experiences are your own and they ought stay that way!

**BKLYNCyclone** · 11-05-2012, 07:55 AM

Until we had our twins, I didn't truly understand unconditional love. It's the single best thing my wife and I have ever done. It's hard right now as we're stretching my salary very thin (too thin frankly) until my wife goes back to work, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Money is just money. My kids are the single most precious thing to me and my wife and we'd do anything for them. (I even typed this right now while my daughter is screaming her head off about something benign)

That being said, kids aren't for everyone and I would never tell someone they should have them or not. It's too special to force upon anyone.

**isuno1fan** · 11-05-2012, 08:02 AM

I can tell you the worst reason to have kids is because you want someone to visit you or take care of you when you are old. That is a terrible reason IMO. I have one child. Love her to death. My wife wanted more and I wasn't 100% sure so we only have the one and now we are old enough that it will stay that way. Both parties need to be committed 100% or don't do it. Don't do it because your parents or her parents won't stop nagging you about it. Don't do it because your friends have lots of kids and they keep nagging you about it. Don't do it because you think you are going to die alone without anyone in your life. Don't do it because you envision them coming home for the holidays when they are grown. Do it because you want to witness a miracle one time in your life, but be ready to cut the cord when they are grown and let them live their own life without you meddling or following them around the country just so you can be close.

There is a lot of good that comes with being a parent so appreciate that, but don't depend on your child to do anything for you. They are their own person and can make their own decisions once out of the house. Your child's future spouse does not want you living next door.

**CycloneYoda** · 11-05-2012, 08:22 AM

My wife just put in 4 nights in a row. I have had sole control of the kids during this time.

Im going to eat them. That is the reason I had them.

**mj4cy** · 11-05-2012, 08:26 AM

The love and joy you have for your kids watching them grow and learn about their world is immeasurable in any amount of money. Love coming home and my son (15 months) will come up to me with open arms.

**DistrictCyclone** · 11-05-2012, 08:32 AM

So, serious question for the older folks on here: at what age did you decide you want kids? What do you think of people who make their decision at 30 vs 20? 40 vs 30?

**Angie** · 11-05-2012, 08:34 AM

Originally Posted by DistrictCyclone

So, serious question for the older folks on here: at what age did you decide you want kids? What do you think of people who make their decision at 30 vs 20? 40 vs 30?

We made the decision to at 25, but our daughter was born after 30 for both of us. I think you have a lot less energy doing it later, but you're more prepared financially and emotionally usually.

**cyrevkah** · 11-05-2012, 08:39 AM

Originally Posted by DistrictCyclone

So, serious question for the older folks on here: at what age did you decide you want kids? What do you think of people who make their decision at 30 vs 20? 40 vs 30?

I've heard people state their desire as early as a teenager, but your ideas may change over time. I think you should have an idea of what you want, but you need to be able to agree with your partner.

As for me specifically: I have always known I would like kids someday. Then I was told I couldn't with out medical intervention so we decided to wait and see what happened. We still wanted kids, but were content at the time not to do anything about it.

**3TrueFans** · 11-05-2012, 08:40 AM

Originally Posted by DistrictCyclone

So, serious question for the older folks on here: at what age did you decide you want kids? What do you think of people who make their decision at 30 vs 20? 40 vs 30?

Right when we found out my wife was pregnant.

**CycloneErik** · 11-05-2012, 08:41 AM

Originally Posted by 3TrueFans

Right when we found out my wife was pregnant.

Huh, that's when we decided.

**Rabbuk** · 11-05-2012, 08:58 AM

Originally Posted by 3TrueFans

Right when we found out my wife was pregnant.

Oops5char

**Vicarious** · 11-05-2012, 08:58 AM

From a biological standpoint, your sole purpose is to ensure your genetic code outlives you and advances through the ages. It's why mama grizzlies act like they do, why siblings are so protective of each other, why you are attracted to people your brain thinks will be successfully fertile and reproductive. It's why it's so emotionally devastating not to be able to have kids. Most people can come to terms with the inability to attain other achievements in their lives but infertility takes pain and emptiness to a whole new level. It's not a very romantic answer but it's true.

Now if you don't want kids that doesn't mean you are evil but to be honest I always find it surprising that so many people can fight this bioligical truth. For that reason and others I'm going to go against the fray here and tell you to seriously consider having kids, and the sooner the better.

We didn't have kids right a way. I'm not a huge fan of other peoples kids, then or now so there was no rush. I had a very successful career and we were pretty happy. By the time we decided to have kids I was still fairly young but then it took YEARS to conceive. By the time we finally start, space them out a little, I'm getting a little old. Now that my oldest is in college I'm really old.

If I could do it again, I would start trying to have kids much earlier, giving me the option to have more, if possible. But life is not a dress rehearsal. You don't get to do it again. Most people are good parents (again, it's a biological thing) so don't worry about that. And don't let the expense of kids be an excuse because in my experience, the money part always works out. Good luck with whatever you decide but try to make that decision sooner rather than later.

**Cybirdy** · 11-05-2012, 09:06 AM

Originally Posted by DistrictCyclone

So, serious question for the older folks on here: at what age did you decide you want kids? What do you think of people who make their decision at 30 vs 20? 40 vs 30?

We were married right out of college at 21 and 23. For us the decision to have kids was made while we were dating in college--we knew we wanted a family. But we made a conscious decision to wait awhile to actually have kids, so our first was when I was 28 and hubby was 30. Now 10 years later we will have our last as we near/hit 40. Again, it is a personal decision on timing. This is what worked for us.

**DistrictCyclone** · 11-05-2012, 09:07 AM

Originally Posted by Vicarious

From a biological standpoint, your sole purpose is to ensure your genetic code outlives you and advances through the ages. It's why mama grizzlies act like they do, why siblings are so protective of each other, why you are attracted to people your brain thinks will be successfully fertile and reproductive. It's why it's so emotionally devastating not to be able to have kids. Most people can come to terms with the inability to attain other achievements in their lives but infertility takes pain and emptiness to a whole new level. It's not a very romantic answer but it's true.

Now if you don't want kids that doesn't mean you are evil but to be honest I always find it surprising that so many people can fight this bioligical truth. For that reason and others I'm going to go against the fray here and tell you to seriously consider having kids, and the sooner the better.

We didn't have kids right a way. I'm not a huge fan of other peoples kids, then or now so there was no rush. I had a very successful career and we were pretty happy. By the time we decided to have kids I was still fairly young but then it took YEARS to conceive. By the time we finally start, space them out a little, I'm getting a little old. Now that my oldest is in college I'm really old.

If I could do it again, I would start trying to have kids much earlier, giving me the option to have more, if possible. But life is not a dress rehearsal. You don't get to do it again. Most people are good parents (again, it's a biological thing) so don't worry about that. And don't let the expense of kids be an excuse because in my experience, the money part always works out. Good luck with whatever you decide but try to make that decision sooner rather than later.

I think it's pretty admirable that people resist/suppress this biological urge when they're not adequately prepared to raise a child in modern society. I don't presently want children, but if I ever decide that I do, I'll ensure that I have all of the resources (financially, mentally, time-wise, etc.) to provide my children with a comfortable upbringing that provides them with opportunities to live happy, healthy lives.

**brianhos** · 11-05-2012, 09:08 AM

Simple reason to have kids. They are the greatest thing in the world. There is NOTHING I love more than going to games with my boys. Kids make life so much better.

Would I have more money with no kids? I sure would. Would I be happier? Not even close.