Reasons to have children?

[Angie]

This is exactly the point I was trying to make. For example, "My car breaks down every week, it eats gas, it forces me to never eat out or go on vacation because the repair costs are so high, and it takes up the entire garage so I had to get rid of all my other toys, BUT I LOVE MY CAR!" As a non-parent this is exactly how it sounds to me and I'm not trying to be cynical. Why do people complain about getting up at 4 AM every morning and then beg me to have a kid saying how wonderful it is.

On another note, both my sister and I were adopted by our parents who were in their late 30's at the time. My wife was born when her parents were in their late 30's as well. Having what we had growing up will be impossible on the salaries we make now and we want our kids to have the lives we did - that's why I'm concerned about money. And because I am adopted I see that as a 100% viable choice if a couple is infertile so I get upset when people claim adopted children, "just aren't the same".

As someone who had to do IVF to get pregnant, I understand what you're saying, and adoption would have been our next step if IVF hadn't worked. But adoption is a long, strenuous process these days, too - you have to go through psychological and home evaluations, medical evaluations, etc. It is incredibly expensive, especially domestic adoption - and it takes years in most situations. While I understand the need to make sure this unfortunate child is going into a good home, it makes the process very daunting. And many people want to explore every avenue of having their own biological offspring - that's not wrong, it is just their choice.

[NickTheGreat]

I'm just glad my parents decided to have children!

[CivEFootball]

I wouldn’t listen to these posters about being so happy. Research shows about 50% parents are depressed having/raising kids. Kids actually don't raise happiness levels it lowers them. Here a couple of good reads on the subject.

Why Parents Hate Parenting -- New York Magazine

If parenthood sucks, why do we love it? Because we're addicted. - Slate Magazine

I would also like to point out what numerous other posters have point out they have hinted at their money problems and will probably eventually fight more with their significant other later on over the money issues. Right they are still in what I would see as a "honeymoon" stage of having a kid. Most money fights lead to a divorce.

[CycloneErik]

I wouldn’t listen to these posters about being so happy. Research shows about 50% parents are depressed having/raising kids. Kids actually don't raise happiness levels it lowers them. Here a couple of good reads on the subject.

Why Parents Hate Parenting -- New York Magazine

If parenthood sucks, why do we love it? Because we're addicted. - Slate Magazine

I would also like to point out what numerous other posters have point out they have hinted at their money problems and will probably eventually fight more with their significant other later on over the money issues. Right they are still in what I would see as a "honeymoon" stage of having a kid. Most money fights lead to a divorce.

As to that last part, absolutely disagree with horribly shallow analysis. Every married couple will argue and fight about money. Not even nearly half of those couple will divorce.

If you said "most divorces come from fights about money," you might have something. The other way around is false.

[cyrevkah]

I wouldn’t listen to these posters about being so happy. Research shows about 50% parents are depressed having/raising kids. Kids actually don't raise happiness levels it lowers them. Here a couple of good reads on the subject.

Why Parents Hate Parenting -- New York Magazine

If parenthood sucks, why do we love it? Because we're addicted. - Slate Magazine

I would also like to point out what numerous other posters have point out they have hinted at their money problems and will probably eventually fight more with their significant other later on over the money issues. Right they are still in what I would see as a "honeymoon" stage of having a kid. Most money fights lead to a divorce.

That brings up a whole other arguement, which I really don't want to start...but oh well.

How do people handle stress and disagreements? It seems like too many people just take the easy way out not caring if it is the best decision or the right/wrong decision.

[jaretac]

I'm just glad my parents decided to have children!

So your not glad your parents decided to have children. Well, I'm with you there.

[urb1]

Our children kept my wife and I together for all these year. We both agreed early on, whoever filed for divorce had to take the kids!

[mtowncyclone13]

How can these articles say it increases stress, anxiety, and does not increase happiness when all we hear from CF and other places how wonderful children are? Either people are lying to the researchers (which I doubt) or they are putting on a happy face to the world they know - too ashamed to be honest.

[3TrueFans]

As to that last part, absolutely disagree with horribly shallow analysis. Every married couple will argue and fight about money. Not even nearly half of those couple will divorce.

If you said "most divorces come from fights about money," you might have something. The other way around is false.

We thought maybe the best way to prevent fights about money was to not have any money, the results have not been favorable.

[isuno1fan]

I forgot to add:

If you have kids, make sure and get them vaccinated on schedule please

(couldn't resist)

[DistrictCyclone]

I forgot to add:

If you have kids, make sure and get them vaccinated on schedule please

(couldn't resist)

Make sure to have them spayed and neutered. Or is that pets? I can never remember.

[Angie]

How can these articles say it increases stress, anxiety, and does not increase happiness when all we hear from CF and other places how wonderful children are? Either people are lying to the researchers (which I doubt) or they are putting on a happy face to the world they know - too ashamed to be honest.

You can find information going both directions:

Parents are happier people: Parents experience greater happiness and meaning in life than nonparents, psychologists find

Parents

Just because you're happy doesn't mean you're not stressed, and vice versa. People in high-stress jobs can be happy, just as people can be who aren't stressed. There are obvious intrinsic frustrations to having children - they are rarely convenient. But each one is amazing.

[cyrevkah]

How can these articles say it increases stress, anxiety, and does not increase happiness when all we hear from CF and other places how wonderful children are? Either people are lying to the researchers (which I doubt) or they are putting on a happy face to the world they know - too ashamed to be honest.

My guess is that the people surveyed handle it worse than the people on CF or they just want to vent.... Though I am sure there are many stressful and sad situations being a parent. Honestly, I didn't even get to parent (yet) and I'm still giddy over the time I had. Even though I still have days when I want to cry or ask why....I am doing okay and still am a happy person.

Though I like Angie's answer a lot too.

[dmclone]

How can these articles say it increases stress, anxiety, and does not increase happiness when all we hear from CF and other places how wonderful children are? Either people are lying to the researchers (which I doubt) or they are putting on a happy face to the world they know - too ashamed to be honest.

Some are not being honest with themselves.

[00clone]

As someone who had to do IVF to get pregnant, I understand what you're saying, and adoption would have been our next step if IVF hadn't worked. But adoption is a long, strenuous process these days, too - you have to go through psychological and home evaluations, medical evaluations, etc. It is incredibly expensive, especially domestic adoption - and it takes years in most situations. While I understand the need to make sure this poor child is going into a good home, it makes the process very daunting. And many people want to explore every avenue of having their own biological offspring - that's not wrong, it is just their choice.

I think you could have made your point without needlessly bringing up these kids' financial situation. Stay classy.