Reasons to have children?

[CycloneErik]

^^^Better wait on the ringer until Wed. They call to turn out your vote even though you voted 12 hours earlier (or in my case, in September).

Done. Thursday, just to play it safe.

[Angie]

Well, you're sure to have snowcraig (?) s vote, that guy hates kids so much he tried to leave them at daycare...twice.

And most daycares charge for every minute you're late after a certain amount of time, so he REALLY wanted them gone.

[Cycl1]

tax benefits.

[Cycl1]

Done. Thursday, just to play it safe.

should probably just disconnect it.

[Tre4ISU]

This is exactly the point I was trying to make. For example, "My car breaks down every week, it eats gas, it forces me to never eat out or go on vacation because the repair costs are so high, and it takes up the entire garage so I had to get rid of all my other toys, BUT I LOVE MY CAR!" As a non-parent this is exactly how it sounds to me and I'm not trying to be cynical. Why do people complain about getting up at 4 AM every morning and then beg me to have a kid saying how wonderful it is.

On another note, both my sister and I were adopted by our parents who were in their late 30's at the time. My wife was born when her parents were in their late 30's as well. Having what we had growing up will be impossible on the salaries we make now and we want our kids to have the lives we did - that's why I'm concerned about money. And because I am adopted I see that as a 100% viable choice if a couple is infertile so I get upset when people claim adopted children, "just aren't the same".

First of all that last line is BS. I agree with you completely there. I don't have any kids but I did date a girl for awhile with one. Now, obviously I was void of any real important responsibility toward him and yes, there were times where it was frustrating but it's been quite a while since we were together and I do miss that little guy. He wasn't my kid, I wasn't forced to be his father figure or anything but not once did I wish he wasn't around and I think that says a lot for me personally in terms of having kids. I knew he wasn't mine, yet there was this feeling there for him. That's why I agree with you on the adopted kids subject. He wasn't even close to being my kid or step kid but I felt that way and that tells me I do want to have kids and it wouldn't matter if it were biological or not.

[kberyldial]

After reading the college costs thread I just wonder why people have a strong desire to have multiple children. I don't not like kids but they just seem so expensive. We both work but i can never understand how people can afford them and still save and live life. All the new parents i know say "you needbto have kids now-youll love it" but part of me just thinks misery loves company. I dont know... what are your thoughts?

You should probably start by asking your own parents this question. Do they seem defeated in life by your existence and financial strain on them? I found an article that states it costs $253,000 on average to raise a child - not including college. So is it expensive? Absolutely. I'd pay 4 times that for my 2 children. Perspective is a crazy thing. It's obvious you are young. I'd advise you to enjoy that. Take trips. Buy big flat screens. Drive a nice car. Donate more to ISU.

[kberyldial]

One could argue (if you are watching the Walking Dead) that taking a wait and see approach on kids would be a smart thing to do. What if the world goes zombie? Children would become an enormous burden at that point. BUT - you wouldn't have to worry about paying for college. You could just sink that money into weapons, bullets and a 12 foot concrete wall around your house. When it comes to kids there is no easy answer.

[VeloClone]

There is a young couple that sit near us at ISU games and they have one of the cutest babies I've ever seen but that doesn't make me want one for myself. Of course it helps that the week after I was thinking how cute the baby was it puked down the side of it's moms face and in her ear :)

I'm betting it was the Tech game that made this little Cyclone sick.


Seriously, I'm all for making sure that you will be able to provide for your family if you choose to have one, but I don't think there is anything wrong with being raised in a family of modest means. My parents raised a big family and we pretty much were just scraping by but I'm certain that not a single one of us really considered ourselves poor and deprived nor looking back would we change a bit of it. Sure you may not have the nicest clothes or the latest toys like some of the kids, but you quickly learn what is important in life - and that ain't it.

I am a little worried about college for my kids. It is a lot tougher to go it alone now and will in all likelihood be even tougher in 10-15 years than it was for me years ago.

[MNCyGuy]

All I have to add is that my lifestyle choices are the most correct ones, and you would have to be some sort of idiot to live your life any differently than I live mine.

[Cycl1]

Helicopter parents

Trying to be the 'cool' parent'

Afraid of what other parents think of you

Spoiling kids

Kids actually running the household, while parents CAVE to their every whim

Organizing EVERYTHING for your kids

Kids raised in a fricking mini-van

Parents involved in every aspect of your college choice, orientation, costs, moving to dorm/apt.

Texting your parents in COLLEGE every day. updating them after a quiz

Bragging parents

Competing parents

Using your kids supposedly sicknesses to call in sick from work constantly


No thanks man....I have enough nieces and nephews....

[mtowncyclone13]

You should probably start by asking your own parents this question. Do they seem defeated in life by your existence and financial strain on them? It's obvious you are young. I'd advise you to enjoy that. Take trips. Buy big flat screens. Drive a nice car. Donate more to ISU.

I asked them and the response was "we wanted children" and I wasn't going to push it.

And I'm 30. So young, yes, but not "just graduated wooooo!" young.

[TigerCyJM]

Ask your parents. I'm guessing they probably didn't regret their decision.

I don't know...some people on this board must have some pretty loving parents.

[MNCyGuy]

In all honesty, there are a few things that always make me roll my eyes when this topic comes up:

1) How poor are some of these people's relationship with their parents that they can't see any way that their parents see them as anything but a source of grief.

2) The posters who see the people having kids they can't afford and the people who maybe are a little overzealous with pictures of their kids on Facebook as equally valid arguments that there is something wrong with people that have kids.

3) How thin-skinned are some of these people that are told they should have kids. I'd guess a lot of it is said in a kidding matter and if you're as firm in your convictions with your friends as you are on-line it would probably be dropped.

[kberyldial]

A more poignant question here is, are there any parents on this site that wish they wouldn't have had kids? That should answer the question of whether or not it's a good or bad idea. I've lived without kids until the age of 32 and with them now for 10+ years. Both were/are great. Personally, if I didn't want kids I wouldn't get married either. If you ask why to that then you've answered the original question. Because it's fulfilling to share in something greater than yourself and your net worth.

[JWIL4CY]

You can't make a logical argument in favor of having children because it makes no sense on paper. They cost a ton of money, take all your free time, and are exhausting. However, I would rather be poor and have my wife/kids than be a billionaire without them. Having children brings out emotions/feelings that you never had before, and can't be explained.