Need help

**bhutch65** · 11-27-2012, 07:29 AM

I have an arrogant, retired, dentist, hok acquaintance. We hang in the same circles but I try to stay away from him at dinner events. He's the type that wants you to call him DR. even though he's a dentist, retired and not my Dr. Well, every year he takes a trip for Habitat For Humanity to exotic places, works for a few days and then is a tourist in the country for a few weeks. This year was Nepal. I know the type of person he is and does it purely for financial reasons.

He does this because he gets tax deductions and he belongs to a volunteer group that gets him 25-40% off his airfare. He gets the same discount at hotels. He couldn't care less about the people of Nepal. But, when he talks about it socially, he states, " I did volunteer work for HFH in Nepal." All the people that don't know him love this and tell him what a wonderful human he is. He eats it all up. Truth is, he painted 400 doorways over 4 days and then traveled the country for 2 weeks.

How do others handle guys like this? I can't stay completely away because of our circle of friends and his wife is an incredibly good person. Other men in the group feel the same way I do and talk among themselves about it. I've been very good at bucking up and keeping my mouth closed but something has got to give.

**CLONECONES** · 11-27-2012, 07:49 AM

sounds like the worst type of person

**Mr Janny** · 11-27-2012, 07:52 AM

Originally Posted by bhutch65

I have an arrogant, retired, dentist, hok acquaintance. We hang in the same circles but I try to stay away from him at dinner events. He's the type that wants you to call him DR. even though he's a dentist, retired and not my Dr. Well, every year he takes a trip for Habitat For Humanity to exotic places, works for a few days and then is a tourist in the country for a few weeks. This year was Nepal. I know the type of person he is and does it purely for financial reasons.

He does this because he gets tax deductions and he belongs to a volunteer group that gets him 25-40% off his airfare. He gets the same discount at hotels. He couldn't care less about the people of Nepal. But, when he talks about it socially, he states, " I did volunteer work for HFH in Nepal." All the people that don't know him love this and tell him what a wonderful human he is. He eats it all up. Truth is, he painted 400 doorways over 4 days and then traveled the country for 2 weeks.

How do others handle guys like this? I can't stay completely away because of our circle of friends and his wife is an incredibly good person. Other men in the group feel the same way I do and talk among themselves about it. I've been very good at bucking up and keeping my mouth closed but something has got to give.

Sounds like you're an anti-dentite

**00clone** · 11-27-2012, 07:56 AM

If everyone else talks about it, be satisfied in the fact that everyone knows who he truly is. If you and everyone else have disdain for him but he doesn't know it, you're in the catbird seat, if you need something from him, you still can get it.

**00clone** · 11-27-2012, 07:57 AM

Originally Posted by Mr Janny

Sounds like you're an anti-dentite

I'm sure that's noted in his records.

**MNCyGuy** · 11-27-2012, 08:14 AM

Seems like you're already doing what you should in the situation. Making some big show of calling this guy on his **** or making himself look bad would probably feel great in the moment but make you look like the ***.

**Trice** · 11-27-2012, 08:21 AM

You can report tax cheats to the IRS. Your anonymity is supposed to be assured and you even get a cut of whatever the IRS brings in because of your report.

Of course, having the IRS hounding a well-meaning "volunteer" like this would probably only serve to elevate his status as some kind of martyr among your group once he starts complaining about it.

But hey, at least you would have done your part to knock him down a peg.

**CycloneErik** · 11-27-2012, 08:23 AM

Smile and nod. If that's the kind of person he is, it comes out eventually.

**colbycheese** · 11-27-2012, 08:27 AM

The guy sounds like a d bag. If I was in your shoes, I'd look up and memorize 50 dentist jokes, and when he tries to talk to you, bust those out and don't stop telling the jokes. Mix in a few Hok jokes. Once he's ******, maybe he'll leave you alone. Do it just enough to be annoying, but not enough to be the a hole of the party - that's his job.

By the way, a dentist is a doctor (doctor of dental medicine), just as a physician is a doctor a medicine, a PhD is a doctor of philosophy, a lawyer is technically a doctor (Juris Doctor), a vet is a doctor of veterinary medicine, and so on. Physicians don't have the word "doctor" trademarked... just sayin'. Only the d bag "doctors" make other people call them doctor though.

(I'm working on my PhD by the way... and I'll be a doctor).

**CLONECONES** · 11-27-2012, 08:28 AM

get that dog puppet thing that has the "...FOR ME TO POOP ON" punchline

and use/say it after every stupid story he tells

**Acylum** · 11-27-2012, 08:28 AM

Originally Posted by Mr Janny

Sounds like you're an anti-dentite

It doesn't offend him as a human. It offends him as a Cyclone.

**ruxCYtable** · 11-27-2012, 08:30 AM

Let it go, man. He'll get what's coming to him. Eventually.

**iahawkhunter** · 11-27-2012, 08:35 AM

Originally Posted by bhutch65

I have an arrogant, retired, dentist, hok acquaintance. We hang in the same circles but I try to stay away from him at dinner events. He's the type that wants you to call him DR. even though he's a dentist, retired and not my Dr. Well, every year he takes a trip for Habitat For Humanity to exotic places, works for a few days and then is a tourist in the country for a few weeks. This year was Nepal. I know the type of person he is and does it purely for financial reasons.

He does this because he gets tax deductions and he belongs to a volunteer group that gets him 25-40% off his airfare. He gets the same discount at hotels. He couldn't care less about the people of Nepal. But, when he talks about it socially, he states, " I did volunteer work for HFH in Nepal." All the people that don't know him love this and tell him what a wonderful human he is. He eats it all up. Truth is, he painted 400 doorways over 4 days and then traveled the country for 2 weeks.

How do others handle guys like this? I can't stay completely away because of our circle of friends and his wife is an incredibly good person. Other men in the group feel the same way I do and talk among themselves about it. I've been very good at bucking up and keeping my mouth closed but something has got to give.

As already noted, a dentist is a legit doctor. But, if he's pretentious about having people use the title, make him address you properly, too (e.g., "Mr. bhutch65"). I'm a grad student and my advisor (who as a PhD) does this when he's at the MD's office. Apparently they can get pissy when they ask "How are you doing, Joe?" and he responds with "Great, Bill" rather than "Great, Dr. so-and-so". He figures if they can address him by his first name he can address them by theirs.

**colbycheese** · 11-27-2012, 08:40 AM

Originally Posted by iahawkhunter

As already noted, a dentist is a legit doctor. But, if he's pretentious about having people use the title, make him address you properly, too (e.g., "Mr. bhutch65"). I'm a grad student and my advisor (who as a PhD) does this when he's at the MD's office. Apparently they can get pissy when they ask "How are you doing, Joe?" and he responds with "Great, Bill" rather than "Great, Dr. so-and-so". He figures if they can address him by his first name he can address them by theirs.

Yep, I've seen this too. It cracks me up every time.