They walk among us

**Phaedrus** · 03-21-2008, 08:12 AM

As a spin-off of the very popular "zombie" thread(s), here are a few "doozies" I got from a friend which demonstrates that, if zombies don't walk among us, there are actual living, breathing people that are dumber than zombies:

These are lifted from www.Lightfighter.net I can easily believe every one of them.

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two..'

We haven't used Sears repair since.

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out
Window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said “We’re sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

From Kingman , KS

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the
Counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.

From Kansas City

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded,
'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Birmingham , Ala..

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager
Commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton,
Mississippi

**dosry5** · 03-21-2008, 08:31 AM

The moral of the story(s)?

Go to school at Iowa and you'e qualified to:

be a Sears repariman
work at McDonalds or Taco Bell
work at the airport
be a probation officer
work at Texas Instruments
work for the Dallas County SO
work at a Ford dealership

**CycloneErik** · 03-21-2008, 03:38 PM

I'm pretty sure that I work with some of these people

**mapnerd** · 03-21-2008, 04:08 PM

I once went to McD's and there was 14 year old or so working there. The total came to $4.15 or something, and I gave $5.15. Well, she counted wrong and thought I gave her $5.14. Yup, I got 99 cents back as change. I didn't know what to say. A little common sense would have helped.

**RTBIO** · 03-21-2008, 04:09 PM

I can top all those.

Millions of people voted for George W. Bush. Twice.

**SeattleClone** · 03-21-2008, 04:13 PM

My 8th grade math teacher used to tell us about once a week how he liked to go to McDonald's and other places, and look on the menu for things marked as .99 cents. He then proceeded to give them a penny and say "keep the change".