OT: Why are women so crazy!

cyrevkah · 05-15-2008, 04:48 PM

I've been told that I'm crazy for marrying

ISUFan22 · 05-15-2008, 05:23 PM

Originally Posted by hort4cy

Are you some kind of prophet

Yes. Yes, I am.

istatefan · 05-15-2008, 05:38 PM

Originally Posted by isuno1fan

My theory (which has worked well for me through my almost 10 yrs of marriage) is to confront the issue when it happens. When my wife starts going wacko over something I did or said (or anyone else for that matter), I simply explain to her that she is going out of her mind on some tangent and tell her to not be "a woman". Usually, after a few more heated moments, she realizes that she was getting a bit "wacky" and comes back to her senses.

Also...if all else fails...ignore it.

This works for me. It may or may not work for you.

I found that having a comfortable couch to sleep on really helped. Me. Not my (former) marriage.

Cyclonepride · 05-15-2008, 05:46 PM

I see that you guys haven't figured women out yet. I'll check back in about fifty years.

Phaedrus · 05-16-2008, 02:18 AM

While I am officially recusing myself from this thread, I want to issue a statement:

I like women. I like everything about them. I also think that women are not as mysterious and unknowable as they are portrayed, and neither do I think men are as straightforward and simple as they are portrayed.

If women were so difficult to figure out, why do certain less scrupulous men have so much success manipulating them?

Iastfan112 · 05-16-2008, 02:27 AM

Originally Posted by Phaedrus

While I am officially recusing myself from this thread, I want to issue a statement:

I like women. I like everything about them. I also think that women are not as mysterious and unknowable as they are portrayed, and neither do I think men are as straightforward and simple as they are portrayed.

If women were so difficult to figure out, why do certain less scrupulous men have so much success manipulating them?

My answer to the last part of that is that emotions are easy to manipulate compared to reason.

Arkansas · 05-16-2008, 05:37 AM

This was the cheat sheet handed to me at the beginning of my last relationship. Know it well

The true meaning when a woman says....

"Fine": This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we
feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to
describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

"Five minutes": This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five
minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out
the trash, so it's an even trade.

"Nothing": This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually
signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."

"Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will
result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine."

"Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows): This means "I give up" or "do what you
want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go ahead"
in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will
talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement
very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you
are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time
standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."

: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of
the few things that some men actually understand. She is content.
Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

"Oh": This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; "Oh,
let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing
last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, RUN, do not walk, to
the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is
done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. "Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that we can't bring ourselves to write about them.

"That's Okay": This is one of the most dangerous statements that a
woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think
long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that
you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go ahead." At some point in the
near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

"Please Do": This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is
giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

"Thanks": A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; just say you're welcome.

"Thanks a lot": This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will
say, "Thanks a lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies
that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by
the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud
Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."

loboclone · 05-16-2008, 07:27 AM

If I knew the answer, would I be going thru my 3 rd Divorce and be taking applications for number 4? Hormones are a very diffcult thing to replace when your in your 50's. Question number #23 on my applications ask for any Rx being taken for Hormone in balances.
I would like to find someone that doesn't require sleeping with eyes open and has no knife skills.