Great taste!! These are really the only right answers. "What I SHOULD have said..."
Any thing with "Blue Collar" in the name makes me shudder.
I've only seen David Cross in person, and he was great - it was too bad the Iowa crowds didn't "get" him. I love Eddie Izzard, as well.
"The British conquered the world through clever use of flags.
'I claim this land for the Queen.'
'You can't claim this land, we live here - there are 500,000 of us!'
'Do you have a flag?'
'We don't need no bloody flag...'
'NO FLAG NO COUNTRY! That's how it works. Those are the rules I just made up.'"
It takes a special kind of humor to think Izzard is funny - fortunately I have that kind of humor
I'm a big fan of Jeff Dunham. I also like a couple of other guys who I can't quite think of their names. One guy's name is something like Angel Iglesias - he's a big, fat Latino who is usually cracking jokes about it (he's done a Comedy Central special), and I'm usually rolling when I'm watching him. The other guy's name is something like Johnny Chang (he's the guy that claims to be "Asian from the waist-up - the rest of him is African American").
Chuck Lidell: I paint my toenails with pink and black polish. Problem is, I get more paint on my toes and on the carpet than on my nails. Any advice? Maria Sharapova: Don't you beat up other guys for a living? I don't know how to answer this.
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