Losing a Loved One

**iccyfan** · 08-02-2009, 09:26 PM

Preface: I'm not looking for sympathy with this post, simply putting some random thoughts into type in the hopes of being thought-provoking...

I buried my father on Saturday. He was 67 years old and had battled polycythemia vera for 18 years, myelofibrosis for 3 years and clinical depression for 3 months. Prior to his retirement at age 61, he was VP of Engineering or Manufacturing at multiple companies and an award-winning master cabinet-maker. In his spare time, he was President of his church, city councilman, volunteer fire chief and a heck of a dad. In retirement, he built heirloom furniture from walnut harvested off the family century farm and volunteered on countless Habitat for Humanity builds. Now for my random thoughts:

1) Depression is a devastating disease; it takes the strong as easily as the weak and renders them helpless. Psychiastrists are seemingly baffled and successful treatment, if there is such a thing, appears to be a crap-shoot until they find the proper way to address the chemical imbalances. It affects more people than you think and if there is still a social stigma attached, there shouldn't be!

2) Go to boring family reunions, spend as much time with your aged parents / grandparents as possible, and tell your family how much you love them every day. There's not always a tomorrow for such things...

In closing, I'd like to thank family and friends (several from this board!) for your support this weekend. Our "celebration of a life well-lived" has left me in good spirits and I can only hope I'll be there for others as you were there for me! Therein lies my final random thought. Small acts of kindness and compassion, for which no thanks is expected, make all the difference in the world...

Peace out...

**Cyclone90** · 08-02-2009, 09:41 PM

Well put. My wife lost both of her parents before her 40th birthday and all of the above should be taken to heart.

**Clone83** · 08-02-2009, 09:41 PM

Thanks for the reminder, very timely for me . . . you have my sympathies . . . take care

**cstrunk** · 08-02-2009, 10:00 PM

Thank you for posting this. Sorry to hear about your loss. I have not had to deal with the loss of a close loved one to this point and I hope I can deal with it in a healthy manner. I think doing what you have mentioned will do a lot in helping with the passing of loved ones.

I have a family reunion coming up on Labor Day and I will be sure to visit with my older relatives.

**Cycofan1** · 08-02-2009, 10:04 PM

Sorry to hear about your loss. 2 years ago my Grandpa died and 1 month ago my aunt died. So I kinda know how you feel.

**tidbit** · 08-02-2009, 10:14 PM

Thank you for sharing your your thoughts with us. I lost both of my parents when I was very young (14 dad and 22 mom) and am still very sympathetic to people who loose there parents at any age.
In addition I am now the same age as your dad, and am very aware that I have outlived both of my parents, so I try to treasure each day. My wife has had many health issues including severe depression in the past. She is doing quite well now but, we had a struggle for a while.
I hope we all take a little time to be thankful for the family we all have, and cherish each day, because the years go quickly.
Bless you again and thanks for sharing.

**Cyclonepride** · 08-02-2009, 10:40 PM

A great reminder of what's important, and I appreciate that you shared it with us. I've come to think that people are immortal in this world, as well as in the afterlife. Their presence changes the world as they move through it, and that person lives on through the people that they've touched on their journey. I hope for you to feel blessed by the parts of him that you carry on with you.

**JVAR** · 08-02-2009, 11:10 PM

Thanks for posting as that is great advice: spend as much time with your family as you can. God blessed me with a great father, and unfortunately I didn't see that until my mid twenties. Thankfully we got close for about six years. When he suddenly died of a heart attack when I was 30, I didn't have a lot of regrets as we had developed a close relationship. If I didn't have those six years, I would still be beating myself up. Once they are gone, that's it. Great advice on not taking your family for granted.

**BugDoc** · 08-02-2009, 11:27 PM

Well said and sorry for your loss.

**Scott34** · 08-02-2009, 11:37 PM

I want to first want say sorry to hear about your loss and hope you heal soon. I will agree with the other posters that we need to cherish the loved ones live that we have in our lives and tell them that as much as we can. Life is to short not to.