A little humor for Cyclone fans

[NebrClone]

IDIOT SIGHTING 1:

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman
told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large'
enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that
we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2
horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4
horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said,
'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two..'

We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING 2:

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window
and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also
handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money..' I
said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill
back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to
repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter,
and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The
clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change..

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING 3:

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call
the local township administrative office to request the removal of
the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer
are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for
them to be crossing anymore.'
Kingman , KS .

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE 4:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She
asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said
he was sorry, but they only had ice burg lettuce.

IDIOT SIGHTING 5:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport
employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage
without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my
knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING 6:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the
street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker
of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained
that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she
responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING 7:

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was
leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager
commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more
often..' Not another word was spoken. W e all just looked at each
other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING 8:

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into
itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her
system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff s office, no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING 9:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to
pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We
went to the service department and found a mechanic working
feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the
passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and
discovered that it was unlocked.. 'Hey,' I announced to the
technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS
STAY ALERT!

IDIOT SIGHTING 10:

I ordered a plain double cheese burger at McD's and the clerk asked if I wanted cheese on it.

They walk among us... and the scary part is
that they VOTE and they REPRODUCE

[drmwevr08]

[tejasclone]

So the assumption is that these are all University of Iowa graduates?

[Knownothing]

At first I noticed that you are NebrClone and assumed it stood for Nebraska. I thought this all happened in Nebraska and I shook my head yes while reading.

[2020cy]

#3,8 and 9 are really hard to believe. The rest I could see happening.

[JD720]

I was at the airport in Baltimore Sunday and stopped by Wendy's to get something to eat before my flight. I wanted a sandwich and a pop, but I can never keep straight which restaurants have which drink sizes (I wanted a ~20oz drink). I asked her what the drink sizes were and she responded "We have small, medium, and large."

[Me State]

#3,8 and 9 are really hard to believe. The rest I could see happening.

Really? Don't you remember not to long ago the lady that called 911 because she was locked inside her car and couldn't get out? Sadly I believe all of those are possible.

[jaretac]

#3,8 and 9 are really hard to believe. The rest I could see happening.

Not really, I could see them all happening.

A colleague of mine was having trouble with a window air conditioner unit. It was a brand new unit, but it wasn't cooling off his house. I told him he needed to mount it in the window instead of the middle of his living room.

I also helped someone who has having computer problems once, she had the switch turned off to the power strip.

[NebrClone]

n stands for knowledge

[jaretac]

The zinger for me

At Iowa State I had a job locking and unlocking buildings on campus. One day I get a call from one of my employees saying she needs help. I get over there and she had the key to the building stuck in between the door and the jam and the door was locked. That door was lock, the door right beside it she hadn't locked yet.

[Cyclones_R_GR8]

#3,8 and 9 are really hard to believe. The rest I could see happening.

I had a user call me one morning and tell me they couldn't get into an application. I could get into it just fine. After 30-60 minutes of digging, I couldn't find a logical reason why they could not get into the application. When I called back they asked me if it might have something to do with the fact that the power was out and their PC was powered down.

So yeah, I can believe anything.

[kkise]

IDIOT SIGHTING 1:

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman
told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large'
enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that
we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2
horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4
horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said,
'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two..'

We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING 2:

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window
and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also
handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money..' I
said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill
back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to
repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter,
and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The
clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change..

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING 3:

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call
the local township administrative office to request the removal of
the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer
are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for
them to be crossing anymore.'
Kingman , KS .

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE 4:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She
asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said
he was sorry, but they only had ice burg lettuce.

IDIOT SIGHTING 5:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport
employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage
without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my
knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING 6:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the
street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker
of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained
that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she
responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING 7:

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was
leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager
commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more
often..' Not another word was spoken. W e all just looked at each
other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING 8:

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into
itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her
system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff s office, no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING 9:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to
pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We
went to the service department and found a mechanic working
feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the
passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and
discovered that it was unlocked.. 'Hey,' I announced to the
technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS
STAY ALERT!

IDIOT SIGHTING 10:

I ordered a plain double cheese burger at McD's and the clerk asked if I wanted cheese on it.

They walk among us... and the scary part is
that they VOTE and they REPRODUCE

I find that terrifying.

[Dave19642006]

working in a gas station in Lake Ozark.....I had a person ask how much is this Jack daniels......I stated "$99.00", heis response came back with a puzzeled reply "Why does it say $19.99 then"....I answered "why did you ask"

Another pulls in and asks where the lake Caberet was at...I asked how he came in...points to the car outside facing east. I said sir you made a wrong turn. Go out and to that light and go to your next light take a Left, go about 10 miles to the next light take a left ...go across the Bagnell dam up the hill and there will be a Firedepartment station just like that one across the street and a gas station just like this one right here. and the Caberet will have a 10' flashing sign outside saying Caberet....cant miss it. He said thanks leaves and turns the car around and takes off. About 30 minutes later same guy comes in and has a puzzled look on his face...he asked me why he did not tell me it was next door. I said did you not see the flashing lake caberet sign when you pulled in facing that sign? He left ******... oh well

Agl pulls in nd asks if we sold cigarettes.... having display models up and in front of the register, I said no these are just displays, we wont get them till next week.. she said thank you and left

A well known lesbian walks in and wanted a fresh sandwhich.... I said I just made the Tunafis about 5 minutes ago......she said thanks Ill take one...


true events.. at the Minute Mart on business 54 and HH in Lake Ozark Missouri

[stretchclone]

When I was in high school, we went to Washington DC. We stopped at a Burger King and I payed with a travelers check. The clerk asked the manager if they took them and he said yes right down all the information on the back.
she took my name
address
and when she got to my city and state. she said..(no kidding) Iowa??? is that a city or a state?? my friend spit his pop up on the counter and out his nose from laughing so hard.

[redrocker]

#2, the counting change one happened to me at a Taco Bell in DSM. I just shook my head. I assumed the gal was a Saydel graduate and laughed all the way home.