Punishing success

Phaedrus

Well-Known Member
Jan 13, 2008
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Khorasan
So, I'm happily working on the internets, when what do I see, but a happy little e-mail from my friendly Army Reserve unit back in the states.

The results from my Annual physical exam are back. 5 months after I took it, of course.

Seems like I've been a very bad boy, and I need to correct a physical deficiency at my own expense, or risk being kicked out or punished under the Uniform Code of Military Justice for not complying with their instructions.

What transgression have I committed, may you ask? Did I take illegal drugs, or catch some social disease, despite being married?

Nope. I am being threatened with expulsion, or punishment, for being in exceptional physical condition. Seems my resting heart rate and blood pressure aren't high enough to be "normal".

My resting heart rate is 39 and my blood pressure is 108 over 60. And I'm 45 years old. So, for the remainder of time that I am in good shape, and wish to stay in the Army Reserve, I will need to engage, at my own expense, the services of a series of vascular experts, who will then create a mountain of paperwork in order to prove that I'm in incredible shape.

So, has anyone else heard anything as stupid as this in their lives? Have you ever experienced idiocy where an institution singles out those who excel and systematically punishes them? Besides the US Tax Code?
 

twojman

Well-Known Member
Jun 1, 2006
7,151
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Clive
First of all, good job taking care of yourself!

I think I can help, grab about 3 bags of Doritos, there is breakfast. Get to a McDonald's for lunch, order the Big Mac combo meal and an extra double cheeseburger. For dinner you will need to find a pizza buffet. About 9:00 PM, find a Dairy Queen and get a LARGE Oreo Blizzard. Repeat this with as much effort as possible for about 2 weeks and you should 'pass' your next test!:wink:
 

Bubbahotep

Well-Known Member
Jul 23, 2008
5,188
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Des Moines
Looks like you'd better buy some cigarettes and Jack Daniels, then go to the nearest Afghani McD's and order up about 20 1/4 pound goat burgers. Time to come back to the rest of us Phaedrus.
 

cycloneace55

Active Member
Nov 22, 2006
600
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Gardena, CA
I can't say i am suprised, punishing the extremely successful seems to be the new American way. Once someone has risin to extreme heights we seem to have to drag them back down to join the rest of us mear mortals.
 

tec71

Well-Known Member
Apr 11, 2006
1,344
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Ankeny, Iowa
So, I'm happily working on the internets, when what do I see, but a happy little e-mail from my friendly Army Reserve unit back in the states.

The results from my Annual physical exam are back. 5 months after I took it, of course.

Seems like I've been a very bad boy, and I need to correct a physical deficiency at my own expense, or risk being kicked out or punished under the Uniform Code of Military Justice for not complying with their instructions.

What transgression have I committed, may you ask? Did I take illegal drugs, or catch some social disease, despite being married?

Nope. I am being threatened with expulsion, or punishment, for being in exceptional physical condition. Seems my resting heart rate and blood pressure aren't high enough to be "normal".

My resting heart rate is 39 and my blood pressure is 108 over 60. And I'm 45 years old. So, for the remainder of time that I am in good shape, and wish to stay in the Army Reserve, I will need to engage, at my own expense, the services of a series of vascular experts, who will then create a mountain of paperwork in order to prove that I'm in incredible shape.

So, has anyone else heard anything as stupid as this in their lives? Have you ever experienced idiocy where an institution singles out those who excel and systematically punishes them? Besides the US Tax Code?

I'd like to blame this on BHO, but it's just our American way. Good luck with that.
 

djcubby

Well-Known Member
Nov 24, 2006
3,400
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Bondurant
I would print the email and take it with when you got take the next set of tests. Read it right before you start and the anger should get your BP and heart rate up a little. :biglaugh:
 

Wingback

Active Member
Dec 26, 2008
758
39
28
71
So, I'm happily working on the internets, when what do I see, but a happy little e-mail from my friendly Army Reserve unit back in the states.

The results from my Annual physical exam are back. 5 months after I took it, of course.

Seems like I've been a very bad boy, and I need to correct a physical deficiency at my own expense, or risk being kicked out or punished under the Uniform Code of Military Justice for not complying with their instructions.

What transgression have I committed, may you ask? Did I take illegal drugs, or catch some social disease, despite being married?

Nope. I am being threatened with expulsion, or punishment, for being in exceptional physical condition. Seems my resting heart rate and blood pressure aren't high enough to be "normal".

My resting heart rate is 39 and my blood pressure is 108 over 60. And I'm 45 years old. So, for the remainder of time that I am in good shape, and wish to stay in the Army Reserve, I will need to engage, at my own expense, the services of a series of vascular experts, who will then create a mountain of paperwork in order to prove that I'm in incredible shape.

So, has anyone else heard anything as stupid as this in their lives? Have you ever experienced idiocy where an institution singles out those who excel and systematically punishes them? Besides the US Tax Code?

Is the government, in any way, involved in this? Oh, they are? Nuff said!
 

Phaedrus

Well-Known Member
Jan 13, 2008
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Another reason to stay inside the "Anonymous Middle Third." :jimlad:

The nails that stand up, get hammered down.

I'm sure that anything under 50 or so just gets flagged automatically. My bet is that they want to make sure you don't have bradycardia (Bradycardia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) or something similar.

I offered an alternative event. In lieu of going to an expensive specialist, on my own dime, I offered to run with the doc, any distance, until I ran him into the ground. He didn't take me up on it.
 

Phaedrus

Well-Known Member
Jan 13, 2008
5,111
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Khorasan
Resting bradycardia is often considered normal if the individual has no other symptoms such as fatigue, weakness, dizziness, lightheadedness, fainting, chest discomfort, palpitations or shortness of breath associated with it.

Well, that is SO not me.

Why do I need to pay a specialist to tell me that, again?
 

MidwestZest

Well-Known Member
Apr 22, 2006
2,023
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Sycamore, IL
I had a teacher in HS with the same 'problem.' Low HR and BP. Really fit, ran a lot. Had constricted airway passages in his nose though, so went in for surgery once to have his nasal passages opened up. They put him under, but since his regular resting heartrate was so low, they didn't realize that when his HR went to like, 80 or 90, that it was significantly elevated. That was 'normal' they figured. He was awake for the entire surgery, but unable to move or speak or anything. SUCK.
 

Kyle

Well-Known Member
Mar 30, 2006
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128675255886268018.jpg


This was the best I could find.
 

Bobber

Well-Known Member
Apr 12, 2006
8,880
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Hudson, Iowa
Funny you brought this up. I was just in for a physical and my B.P. was a bit on the high side(actually it was 150 over 100) but was really stressed that day. Since then I've been more like 120 over 70. I want to get it lower so one of the reason I've started working out.

I bought one of those blood pressure moniters and have been checking. I had my wife do it and hers was 100 over 59 on the first test. She's in little better shape than I, but she just naturally has low blood pressure. She told me she's tested that way her whole life. I don't think that's all good because her overall energy level doesn't seem to be as high as mine. She seems to get tired easier and also cold easier?

My family has a little bit of both high and low blood pressure. Tends to be high on my moms side and low on dad's. It will be interesting to see how I turn out in later years.
 
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