From the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness in regard to facial hair: "Full, think and square. Nothing Sculpted. If you have to sculpt it, that probably means you can't grow it"
I can't believe it took 20 posts to get a Tom Selleck vote. This dude is in the Mustache Hall of Fame.
Can't think of his name now, but there was a Chicago Cubs relief pitcher that went down to Iowa at the end of his career. Used to sit outside his trailer by the ballpark and drink beer with fans. I believe he's deceased now. Had a rocking 'stache.
You could always go with the monkey tail.
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