Something embarrassing you never told anyone

[demoncore1031]

I have several stories, but I actually never get embarrassed because, who cares what people think. But I do remember one time I got extremely embarrassed...

When I was in my late teens I was working nights at a factory in Clarion. One night I woke up a bit late and had to hurry up and get ready, so I just threw on basketball shorts, with nothing underneath, and a t-shirt. The shorts were a little too big and a couple hours into my shift I was packing some stuff into a box and the shorts fell down to my ankles. Oops! I looked around to see if anyone saw, and sure enough, a group of older ladies saw everything. Yep, that was embarrassing and I never told anyone until now.

Your turn...

 

[Mr Janny]

When my daughter was like 2-3 years old, we used to play this game where we pretended to be lions. We would crawl around on all fours, making clawing motions and saying "Rawr!" at each other. My daughter was super cute, and it was something I enjoyed a lot.
One day at work, I got onto an elevator. On the ride up to my floor, my mind drifted to the lion game. I was laughing to myself, thinking about my little daughter pretending she was a lion. Then, for some reason, I spoke aloud, and said "RAWR!" while making a clawing motion with my hands. No sooner had the sound escaped my lips, when it occurred to me that I wasn't alone on the elevator. There was a middle aged woman in front of me, looking right at me with a most distressed and confused look on her face. Uh-oh, I thought, imagining what it must have looked like from her perspective. I immediately apologized. She didn't say a thing, only turned away from me. We sat there in silence for a few awkward seconds before we arrived on her floor. (Thank God we didn't get off on the same floor) And then I was alone with my thoughts again. I was convinced that I was going to get a call from HR and have to explain why I made what must have seemed like an aggressive pass at this lady. And I figured there was absolutely no way in hell they would believe me when I told them the truth.

But, the call from HR never came, so I think I got away with it.

 

[AgronAlum]

I trusted a fart I shouldn’t have in the parking lot of Hilton after having too many adult beverages during cys house of trivia. I tried the doors to clean up but it was already locked. It was a long ride home with my wife (girlfriend at the time).

I used to run audio for a large church when I was in my teens. I thought I knew more than I did and ended up telling the band during practice they “sounded like ****” through the monitors. Not my proudest moment and I still think about that moment way too much.

 

[BoxsterCy]

Not. Going. There.

Nope.

 

[demoncore1031]

I trusted a fart I shouldn’t have in the parking lot of Hilton after having too many adult beverages during cys house of trivia. I tried the doors to clean up but it was already locked. It was a long ride home with my wife (girlfriend at the time).

I used to run audio for a large church when I was in my teens. I thought I knew more than I did and ended up telling the band during practice they “sounded like ****” through the monitors. Not my proudest moment and I still think about that moment way too much.

I knew there would be at least one shart story haha.

 

[AgronAlum]

I knew there would be at least one shart story haha.

I have more… That’s just the one that fit CF. lol

The bathroom at Terrace Hills took a beating at the turn.

 

[ClonerJams]

I trusted a fart I shouldn’t have in the parking lot of Hilton after having too many adult beverages during cys house of trivia. I tried the doors to clean up but it was already locked. It was a long ride home with my wife (girlfriend at the time).

I used to run audio for a large church when I was in my teens. I thought I knew more than I did and ended up telling the band during practice they “sounded like ****” through the monitors. Not my proudest moment and I still think about that moment way too much.

Similar to mine. I was at a bachelor party about 10 years ago. The night started at BWW with hot wings. A few hours later the hot wings got to me when we were at Wellmans and I tried to let a fart out and ended up shitting myself. Went in a stall of the busy bathroom and ditched the boxers behind the toilet. We all hopped in a car later to head to the lumberyard and someone asked 'who **** their pants' but I never admitted to it. Made about 5 trips to the bathroom in the lumberyard putting soap on my jeans.

 

[demoncore1031]

Similar to mine. I was at a bachelor party about 10 years ago. The night started at BWW with hot wings. A few hours later the hot wings got to me when we were at Wellmans and I tried to let a fart out and ended up shitting myself. Went in a stall of the busy bathroom and ditched the boxers behind the toilet. We all hopped in a car later to head to the lumberyard and someone asked 'who **** their pants' but I never admitted to it. Made about 5 trips to the bathroom in the lumberyard putting soup on my jeans.

This has me laughing like crazy!

 

[cytor]

Back in the late 70s, early 80s I was in junior high. I actually cheered for the Hoks to win a game once. Super embarrassing. Young and dumb.
Thankfully, I quickly grew out of that horrible phase.

 

[clonedude]

OMG... I have too many to even talk about from my drunk nights at ISU. Some of those I doubt I'll ever tell anyone.

 

[cydnote]

Back in the day I drove truck a couple winters that we didn't have livestock, mostly hauling grain to Chicago with return loads of steel mainly to Deere in Waterloo but often times to smaller businesses (Bantum-Shields in Waverly, Ritchie in Conrad, etc.). On one trip I needed a bathroom in the worst way and the only option was to park on the roadway and scramble into a grocery store in Grundy Center. No public bathroom but they realized my predicament and allowed me to use the employee bathroom in the back. I didn't make it in time and after an extensive cleanup which used the balance of the available toilet paper (and enough time that I feared someone would preform a wellness check on me) my undies ended up in the wastebasket. I found out that a week later the place burned down. Never knew the cause of the fire but always assumed it was a result of somebody trying to eliminate the odor.

 

[coolerifyoudid]

I was in a parking lot of a soccer field before my daughter's game. I got out of my car and started walking in. I felt like I had something in my teeth and stopped by a car close to the front that had reflective windows. After some intense inspection and face contortions, I was able to locate the offensive impediment and remove it from my teeth.

As I turned and started to walk in, the car door opens and a teenage girl leans out and gives me that look of disgust that only teenage girls are capable of giving.

 

[JM4CY]

Similar to mine. I was at a bachelor party about 10 years ago. The night started at BWW with hot wings. A few hours later the hot wings got to me when we were at Wellmans and I tried to let a fart out and ended up shitting myself. Went in a stall of the busy bathroom and ditched the boxers behind the toilet. We all hopped in a car later to head to the lumberyard and someone asked 'who **** their pants' but I never admitted to it. Made about 5 trips to the bathroom in the lumberyard putting soup on my jeans.

I opened this thread expecting some weirdness and stories that I thought I would have a hard time believing actually happened.

For some reason, I 100% believe every word of this post occurred as described.

 

[jmb]

Similar to mine. I was at a bachelor party about 10 years ago. The night started at BWW with hot wings. A few hours later the hot wings got to me when we were at Wellmans and I tried to let a fart out and ended up shitting myself. Went in a stall of the busy bathroom and ditched the boxers behind the toilet. We all hopped in a car later to head to the lumberyard and someone asked 'who **** their pants' but I never admitted to it. Made about 5 trips to the bathroom in the lumberyard putting soup on my jeans.

I think you souped your jeans earlier.(Read last sentence of yours)

 

[cycloner29]

Pissed my pants on a party bus I had to go so damn bad and there was no bathroom on the bus. Had a drink in my hand and kind of stuck it out so the guy in front of me would hit it when he turned around. He hit me and I peed. The guy felt so sorry for me “spilling my drink”, but I was so relieved literally!!

 

[CycloneDaddy]

I banged @CoachHines3 mom in the tailgate lots last year.

 

[mplueg]

I banged @CoachHines3 mom in the tailgate lots last year.

Looks like we’re Eskimo brothers

 

[CoachHines3]

I banged @CoachHines3 mom in the tailgate lots last year.

that’s not embarassing !!

 

[Jer]

There are two types of people in this world.

1 - Those that have sharted both when sick and not, at least once.
2 - Those that never noticed they did it.

 

[IlliniCy]

Back in the day I drove truck a couple winters that we didn't have livestock, mostly hauling grain to Chicago with return loads of steel mainly to Deere in Waterloo but often times to smaller businesses (Bantum-Shields in Waverly, Ritchie in Conrad, etc.). On one trip I needed a bathroom in the worst way and the only option was to park on the roadway and scramble into a grocery store in Grundy Center. No public bathroom but they realized my predicament and allowed me to use the employee bathroom in the back. I didn't make it in time and after an extensive cleanup which used the balance of the available toilet paper (and enough time that I feared someone would preform a wellness check on me) my undies ended up in the wastebasket. I found out that a week later the place burned down. Never knew the cause of the fire but always assumed it was a result of somebody trying to eliminate the odor.

And that's where we got Billy Joel's, "We Didn't Shart the Fire."