Something embarrassing you never told anyone

[CyCoug]

My former roommate had recently gotten married. He invited me to hang out at his apartment a few months later. After a while, I had to grab something out of my car so I ran out to get it.

Coming back, I opened the apartment door. I could hear a woman singing and doing dishes in the kitchen. My roommate wasn’t there, but I assumed he was in the bathroom or something. Then after a few seconds I realized nothing in the apartment looked familiar. I felt a sense of horror as I realized I was in the wrong apartment. It wasn’t his wife in the kitchen. I was basically a creeper in some unknown woman’s apartment.

I very quietly backed up to the door, opened it and silently shut it again. Then I went into the right apartment. No one was ever the wiser.

 

[MeanDean]

that’s not embarassing !!

It is for her!

 

[Farnsworth]

I actually shart yesterday. I've been constipation for awhile so that was suprised. Thank God that just happened before going to work.

 

[BCClone]

I banged @CoachHines3 mom in the tailgate lots last year.

Dude, that’s like half this board.

 

[Jer]

Ok, so I’m an open book - I really regret that trait.

On my bachelor party (just 2 other guys, only time I did anything with anybody including them, and I don’t drink) I ate something around 5pm that didn’t agree with me. All the sudden it hit and I had to make an excuse to run into Best Buy (was closest building).

I got to the stall, barely even had my pants part way down and blasted the wall from about 5 feet high to the ground and entire width of stall with an unholy amount of sludge, top of toilet, etc. It looked a scene from a horror movie - like the exorcist times 20 and running down the wall. Ended up shuffling over to the other stall to finish. Back end of my pants were collateral damage. Finally when washing my hands, a dude came in and went to same stall and all I heard was Oh My ******* God before he slipped in it and then launched vomit everywhere in disgust

I had to wear my coat around my wast to hide the damage. We then went to a bar where I had to sit through it. We then went to the Lumbar Yard, still in damage mode.

Got home like 5 hours later and had to throw away everything, there was no hope to salvage.

 

[Cyched]

Ok, so I’m an open book - I really regret that trait.

On my bachelor party (just 2 other guys, only time I did anything with anybody including them, and I don’t drink) I ate something around 5pm that didn’t agree with me. All the sudden it hit and I had to make an excuse to run into Best Buy (was closest building).

I got to the stall, barely even had my pants part way down and blasted the wall from about 5 feet high to the ground and entire width of stall with an unholy amount of sludge, top of toilet, etc. It looked a scene from a horror movie - like the exorcist times 20 and running down the wall. Ended up shuffling over to the other stall to finish. Back end of my pants were collateral damage. Finally when washing my hands, a dude came in and went to same stall and all I heard was Oh My ******* God before he slipped in it and then launched vomit everywhere in disgust

I had to wear my coat around my wast to hide the damage. We then went to a bar where I had to sit through it. We then went to the Lumbar Yard, still in damage mode.

Got home like 5 hours later and had to throw away everything, there was no hope to salvage.

 

[AgronAlum]

There are two types of people in this world.

1 - Those that have sharted both when sick and not, at least once.
2 - Those that never noticed they did it.

After the incident posted above, I absolutely will not fart in public anymore. It has been like 6 or 7 years. No joke.

 

[nrg4isu]

Well, since we're sharing sharts.

I had one that was actually somewhat convenient, yet still embarrassing. I was working from home some time ago and must have eaten something that really didn't sit well with me. For some reason that morning I didn't shower, so around lunch decided to hop in the shower to clean up. Right as I got in, I felt a fart coming on so I went for it.

Jeremy said it well above. It was like a scene from a horror movie. Apparently what I thought was air was instead grade A liquid **** and I blasted that on the wall of the shower. Luckily I was well equipped to clean up the mess and spent the next 5 minutes doing so.

This is the first time I've admitted that particular event.

 

[dahliaclone]

In college at ISU I went to North Grand Mall to shop for new flannel shirts. I went to American Eagle and saw these new flannels on the front table and proceeded to try a couple on. Thought it was strange that the buttons buttoned from the other side than normal. Was then told after I told the sales person I liked them that they were women’s shirts. May have been a harbinger to my coming out later in life. Hahah.

 

[cydnote]

I don't know if I want to divulge all my embarrassing moments as if this were some sort of contest (Gosh, I'd hate to think I could win it) but will share one more. As a freshmen at ISU, I somehow garnished an invitation to what I deemed as an elite opportunity to initiate my social standing. I was invited to a post-game party that was intentionally set up as a 1 for 1 matchup for us selected few and the pom pom girls that was to convene at the conclusion of a men's basketball game. A few of us decided to skip the game and "prep" for the party. Of course I knocked some down in high school like many others but I wasn't as seasoned as most. I remember mixing my last rum and coke because it was the end of the bottle. What I have no recollection of was a party, any pom pom girls, or any subsequent invitations

 

[jmb]

There are two types of people in this world.

1 - Those that have sharted both when sick and not, at least once.
2 - Those that never noticed they did it.

I thought you were going to say two types of people:
1-those that have banged @CoachHines3 mom
2-those that will bang her at a tailgate this year

 

[Cyched]

I thought you were going to say to types of people:
1-those that have banged @CoachHines3 mom
2-those that will bang her at a tailgate this year

¿Por qué no los dos?

 

[demoncore1031]

that’s not embarassing !!

Not for you.

 

[jmb]

I am have several more years until that statute of limitations is satisfied until I can divulge.

 

[CycloneRulzzz]

Ok, so I’m an open book - I really regret that trait.

On my bachelor party (just 2 other guys, only time I did anything with anybody including them, and I don’t drink) I ate something around 5pm that didn’t agree with me. All the sudden it hit and I had to make an excuse to run into Best Buy (was closest building).

I got to the stall, barely even had my pants part way down and blasted the wall from about 5 feet high to the ground and entire width of stall with an unholy amount of sludge, top of toilet, etc. It looked a scene from a horror movie - like the exorcist times 20 and running down the wall. Ended up shuffling over to the other stall to finish. Back end of my pants were collateral damage. Finally when washing my hands, a dude came in and went to same stall and all I heard was Oh My ******* God before he slipped in it and then launched vomit everywhere in disgust

I had to wear my coat around my wast to hide the damage. We then went to a bar where I had to sit through it. We then went to the Lumbar Yard, still in damage mode.

Got home like 5 hours later and had to throw away everything, there was no hope to salvage.

Nobody is topping this.

 

[CycloneRulzzz]

Reading this just shows how uneventful my life has been.

 

[MeanDean]

I told this one before. Potentially very humiliating. You know how bad kids are at that age.

I was not an early riser as a child. I often was still throwing on my clothes when a sibling would holler "Here comes the bus!"

One particular morning I was very last minute and again, just made the school bus. To my horror as I was riding along I noticed I had accidentally put on two shoes that didn't match. I quickly bent my knees and tucked my feet as far as possible under the bus seat.

The first stop was in the small town where the kids either went into that elementary school or changed onto one of the busses for Junior High or HS for the trip to the bigger town where those schools were.

Doing my best to act nonchalant, I managed to walk to the Junior High bus and board with no one the wiser. Again, once seated, I tucked my feet back under the seat.

At first I was panicked. How would I ever make it through the day? This was a disaster! Slowly I thought of a plan. I marched into the middle school and in the pre-start chaos, speaking to no one, I made it to my locker. I opened it and quickly flipped the one shoe that was loosest into the locker. I made it!

I took off the other shoe and proceeded to remove my gym shoes from my gym bag I routinely kept in my locker and put them on.

I went through the day fine, getting several comments, "Why are you wearing tennis shoes?" I think initially I just mumbled something but eventually decided a logical answer was that I'd broken a shoestring on my regular shoes. (This was decades before it was normal for people to wear athletic shoes routinely in life.)

Next day, I wore my gym shoes to school with one of the mismatched shoes inside a large paper grocery bag. When I got to school I took off the gym shoes and put on the shoe I'd just brought, along with its mate from my locker. At the end of the day I carried home the other shoe in the large grocery bag and all was right with the world.

 

[ISUCyclones2015]

I’ve never been embarrassed in my entire life, duh.

 

[Pope]

I told this one before. Potentially very humiliating. You know how bad kids are at that age.

I was not an early riser as a child. I often was still throwing on my clothes when a sibling would holler "Here comes the bus!"

On particular morning I was very last minute and again, just made the school bus. To my horror as I was riding along I noticed I had accidentally put on two shoes that didn't match. I quickly bent my knees and tucked my feet as far as possible under the bus seat.

The first stop was in the small town where the kids either went into that elementary school or changed onto one of the busses for Junior High or HS for the trip to the bigger town where those schools were.

Doing my best to act nonchalant, I managed to walk to the Junior High bus and board with no one the wiser. Again, once seated, I tucked my feet back under the seat.

At first I was panicked. How would I ever make it through the day? This was a disaster! Slowly I thought of a plan. I marched into the middle school and in the pre-start chaos, speaking to no one, I made it to my locker. I opened it and quickly flipped the one shoe that was loosest into the locker. I made it!

I took off the other shoe and proceeded to remove my gym shoes from my gym bag I routinely kept in my locker and put them on.

I went through the day fine, getting several comments, "Why are you wearing tennis shoes?" I think initially I just mumbled something but eventually decided a logical answer was that I'd broken a shoestring on my regular shoes. (This was decades before it was normal for people to wear athletic shoes routinely in life.)

Next day, I wore my gym shoes to school with one of the mismatched shoes inside a large paper grocery bag. When I got to school I took off the gym shoes and put on the shoe I'd just brought, along with its mate from my locker. At the end of the day I carried home the other shoe in the large grocery bag and all was right with the world.

Thank you. That was kind of nice reading a G rated post after enduring so many posts about crapping in one's pants.

 

[CycloneRulzzz]

I told this one before. Potentially very humiliating. You know how bad kids are at that age.

I was not an early riser as a child. I often was still throwing on my clothes when a sibling would holler "Here comes the bus!"

On particular morning I was very last minute and again, just made the school bus. To my horror as I was riding along I noticed I had accidentally put on two shoes that didn't match. I quickly bent my knees and tucked my feet as far as possible under the bus seat.

The first stop was in the small town where the kids either went into that elementary school or changed onto one of the busses for Junior High or HS for the trip to the bigger town where those schools were.

Doing my best to act nonchalant, I managed to walk to the Junior High bus and board with no one the wiser. Again, once seated, I tucked my feet back under the seat.

At first I was panicked. How would I ever make it through the day? This was a disaster! Slowly I thought of a plan. I marched into the middle school and in the pre-start chaos, speaking to no one, I made it to my locker. I opened it and quickly flipped the one shoe that was loosest into the locker. I made it!

I took off the other shoe and proceeded to remove my gym shoes from my gym bag I routinely kept in my locker and put them on.

I went through the day fine, getting several comments, "Why are you wearing tennis shoes?" I think initially I just mumbled something but eventually decided a logical answer was that I'd broken a shoestring on my regular shoes. (This was decades before it was normal for people to wear athletic shoes routinely in life.)

Next day, I wore my gym shoes to school with one of the mismatched shoes inside a large paper grocery bag. When I got to school I took off the gym shoes and put on the shoe I'd just brought, along with its mate from my locker. At the end of the day I carried home the other shoe in the large grocery bag and all was right with the world.

crazy to think of a time where gym type shoes as regular shoes would be weird.