Randomly thinking of the Crash Davis "I believe" speech in Bull Durham here are my beliefs on superficial stuff. I believe in top shelf bourbon, Maduro cigars, stouts of no less than 10% ABV, steaks done no more than medium rare to light medium, dungeness crab is way better than blue crab, leaving no less than a 20% tip at a restaurant ever and no one will ever be as happy to see you come home at the end of the day as a dog will.
My Crash Davis beliefs
- Thread starter Clone1992
- Start date
I believe in fall...
Brunettes with big boobs...
Tan lines...
Middle shelf bourbons...
One hitters of indica and hybrids...
Smoking ribs and brisket and pork shoulder on a cool sunny day...
I believe in playing catch with my labs...
Documentaries with definitive outcomes...
Brunettes with big boobs...
Tan lines...
The depth of Bill Hicks...
The quickness of David Letterman...
Getting every last bit of mac and cheese dust out of the packet...
Eating pizza hot, every time, all the time...
Refusing steak sauce with vigor...
The guts of The Replacements...
The focus of David Gilmour...
The passion of Ludovico Einaudi...
I believe in having "Christmas Vacation" on as you put up your holiday decorations...
And "The Godfather" as you prep for Thanksgiving dinner...
I believe in the Montreal Expos...
Lou Banach...
The 1990s Chicago Bulls...
And I believe in the coolness of my daughters and that by putting them on this earth I've already won in life.
Brunettes with big boobs...
Tan lines...
Middle shelf bourbons...
One hitters of indica and hybrids...
Smoking ribs and brisket and pork shoulder on a cool sunny day...
I believe in playing catch with my labs...
Documentaries with definitive outcomes...
Brunettes with big boobs...
Tan lines...
The depth of Bill Hicks...
The quickness of David Letterman...
Getting every last bit of mac and cheese dust out of the packet...
Eating pizza hot, every time, all the time...
Refusing steak sauce with vigor...
The guts of The Replacements...
The focus of David Gilmour...
The passion of Ludovico Einaudi...
I believe in having "Christmas Vacation" on as you put up your holiday decorations...
And "The Godfather" as you prep for Thanksgiving dinner...
I believe in the Montreal Expos...
Lou Banach...
The 1990s Chicago Bulls...
And I believe in the coolness of my daughters and that by putting them on this earth I've already won in life.
Oh and under boob. Under boob is nice.
I believe in play action on 1st down. Never punting in opponent territory. The hum of generators as the sun rises for an 11AM kick.
I believe that Natty Light is a legitimately better beer than Busch Light.
I believe in char on hot dogs, and that pizza is best when it’s sat out for about 6 hours.
I believe that the cure to depression lies in the female orgasm, and that Paul Westerberg matters more than Paul McCartney.
I believe that any afterlife that does not consist solely of Midwestern fall days is less than Heaven. I believe that Animal House is a Christmas movie, and that Keith Richards is the closest thing to a deity we will observe in this lifetime.
I believe in always fouling up 3, and that Phish studio albums are better than their live stuff.
I believe that pork butt is superior to brisket, and that sipping black coffee and watching the sunrise is better than sleeping in.
I believe that Natty Light is a legitimately better beer than Busch Light.
I believe in char on hot dogs, and that pizza is best when it’s sat out for about 6 hours.
I believe that the cure to depression lies in the female orgasm, and that Paul Westerberg matters more than Paul McCartney.
I believe that any afterlife that does not consist solely of Midwestern fall days is less than Heaven. I believe that Animal House is a Christmas movie, and that Keith Richards is the closest thing to a deity we will observe in this lifetime.
I believe in always fouling up 3, and that Phish studio albums are better than their live stuff.
I believe that pork butt is superior to brisket, and that sipping black coffee and watching the sunrise is better than sleeping in.
Everybody's gotta believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. WC Fields, and Norm Peterson 
Also, see sig line. Gotta love Crash.
Also, see sig line. Gotta love Crash.
These are great.
I don’t believe in a lot, but I do believe…
- We should outlaw the designated hitter (to steal from Crash) and interleague play, focusing more on divisional rivalry
- side and under boob
- medium rare steaks and that the strip is the superior cut of beef
I believe…
- a great ass, not a huge ass, is sexier than boob size
- Christmas Eve is better than Christmas Day
- Die Hard is no more a Christmas movie than The Godfather
I believe…
- in rule 13-1
- in lateral hazards
- in playing “ready golf” but never stepping on a birdie
- no more than one practice swing
- and 3.5 hour rounds
I don’t believe in a lot, but I do believe…
- We should outlaw the designated hitter (to steal from Crash) and interleague play, focusing more on divisional rivalry
- side and under boob
- medium rare steaks and that the strip is the superior cut of beef
I believe…
- a great ass, not a huge ass, is sexier than boob size
- Christmas Eve is better than Christmas Day
- Die Hard is no more a Christmas movie than The Godfather
I believe…
- in rule 13-1
- in lateral hazards
- in playing “ready golf” but never stepping on a birdie
- no more than one practice swing
- and 3.5 hour rounds
I believe . . .
- Seneca Wallace was in against Florida State
- Tony Yelk's FG against Alabama was good
- Blaise Bryant is criminally forgotten in Iowa State running back lore
- Paul Shirley took a charge
- Dedric Willoughby should have been an All American
- Hilton Coliseum is a +6 home court advantage
I believe . . .
- Godfather Part II is better than The Godfather
- Donnie Brasco and Casino are better films than Goodfellas
- Richard Kimble in The Fugitive is Harrison Ford's best role
- No one has ever looked more beautiful on screen than Grace Kelly in Rear Window
- Rudy is the best sports movie ever made
- Bob Uecker was the funniest man alive
I believe . . .
- Maid Rites are better than hamburgers
- Taco John's has the worst tacos I have ever eaten
- Tenderloins should be three times the size of the bun which contain them
- Ketchup on hot dogs is perfectly acceptable
- Cooking steak past medium rare is a mortal sin
- Cans of Milwaukee's Best will survive the apocalypse.
- Seneca Wallace was in against Florida State
- Tony Yelk's FG against Alabama was good
- Blaise Bryant is criminally forgotten in Iowa State running back lore
- Paul Shirley took a charge
- Dedric Willoughby should have been an All American
- Hilton Coliseum is a +6 home court advantage
I believe . . .
- Godfather Part II is better than The Godfather
- Donnie Brasco and Casino are better films than Goodfellas
- Richard Kimble in The Fugitive is Harrison Ford's best role
- No one has ever looked more beautiful on screen than Grace Kelly in Rear Window
- Rudy is the best sports movie ever made
- Bob Uecker was the funniest man alive
I believe . . .
- Maid Rites are better than hamburgers
- Taco John's has the worst tacos I have ever eaten
- Tenderloins should be three times the size of the bun which contain them
- Ketchup on hot dogs is perfectly acceptable
- Cooking steak past medium rare is a mortal sin
- Cans of Milwaukee's Best will survive the apocalypse.
I believe no one should refer to their favorite team was “we”
I believe in medium rare and not more done
I believe no Hawkeye fan actually went to the school
I believe riding time in wrestling should only be awarded if there’s been nearfall
I believe in being kind to school custodians
And. I too believe Seneca was in
I believe in medium rare and not more done
I believe no Hawkeye fan actually went to the school
I believe riding time in wrestling should only be awarded if there’s been nearfall
I believe in being kind to school custodians
And. I too believe Seneca was in
I was actually at that dual. I was 11 years old and my older brother who was in his freshman year gave my parents and I the tickets as a Christmas gift.
You would do the same in my shoes. I would be disappointed in you if you didn't.
But I like Ed Banach - a great Cyclone!
I used to share your penchant for tipping but service standards have widely gotten horrendous at the same time that 20% is seen as standard.
I sat next to a guy at a bar with horrible service and said anymore things start at 20% and can only go down. That said there’s still some surprise cases where someone goes above and beyond and I will as well.
But people can earn and deserve 0-5% tips and I’ll give it to them if they really want it.
