This feels a lot like what I've been experiencing. And it's not that I'm necessarily being excluded from the "winners circle", but more so that it's more of an unknown. I'm not sure I want to put in the exhaustive effort for X-years only to have the goalposts keep moving.
It sounds like you're about 30ish? If so, you're in the hellish 5-10 year period where you're just 1) making money and kicking out projects and 2) waiting for people above you to retire or burn out.
I'm soon to be 41 and hit Principal at 39 through a merger, which is not the norm based on the shocked faces at the acquisition announcement. I passed up two 60 year old's in my old company due to them being asleep at the wheel and some of my co-workers that aren't Principal probably hate my guts. Although to be fair, we're a couple years in, and my metrics are better than a lot of the people that were asking questions. So they can pound sand.
It's not awesome, but people do pay attention. It's really really competitive in most companies to hit Associate and/or Principal. You probably have way more grinding ahead, but imho financially it's worth it.
By far the hardest part is managing the stress keep the late nights to a minimum, I set some rules on how late and how many hours/week I was willing to work about 5 years ago, and it's helped. It sometimes makes the next days hectic, but it's forced more delegation on me.
I'm not sure what the right answer is, but don't envy some of the public guys we work with. Our City Engineer get's screamed at by contractors and citizens multiple times per week, is probably working 50 hours/week, and makes significantly less than I do.