do's and don'ts of the best man's wedding speech

[JM4CY]

Listen pal, if you weren’t blood and mom wouldn’t have **** her pants, your dooshy ass wouldn’t have even been invited.

 

[ScottyP]

Dont talk about how hot the bride’s sister is. My cousin went to a wedding where the best man had a few drinks and repeatedly mentioned this during the speech.

 

[gocy444]

Hit on all the bridesmaids.

 

[cydnote]

Dont talk about how hot the bride’s sister is. My cousin went to a wedding where the best man had a few drinks and repeatedly mentioned this during the speech.

I was going to say don't mention how hot the bride is and that you know from experience

 

[neiacy]

Don't read it off your cell phone. If anything, take an index card and list a few things you want to talk about and talk about, don't read it. Less is more!

 

[Cy Hard]

General rule of thumb is the best man speech should not last longer than the groom consummating the marriage.

So stand up say Congrats! Then sit down?

 

[mkadl]

I believe a handkerchief to the corner of the eye once or twice is a nice touch. Suck up to the new inlaws for those few days before the wedding and reference them as the awsome people they seem to be in the two days you have known them. A bit of self pity or jealousy of the new wife taking your place, offer your friendship and gaurantee you will be there when needed. Take that and expand to the occasion/person, you will be good.

 

[BCClone]

If you think it’s a solid couple be nice and just tell a light hearted joke or two along with a little background story that is clean.

If you believe the marriage will be doomed in a few weeks or a month say how you were surprised they were getting married because the groom only met the bride in a three way and after she gave him the clap, decided he might as well have some fun.

 

[carvers4math]

Short and classy is the way to go.

I kind of hated my niece’s husband after the speeches, which went on 90 minutes between two best men, two maids of honor, and four parents.

I took one of the rambunctious kids out when one of the best men was talking, came back a half hour later, and he is still saying stuff none of the kids or anyone needed to hear.

Really glad I got married in the 80’s when it was a lot more simple.

 

[2speedy1]

Don't....Confess to sleeping with the bride.

 

[Drew0311]

If you have a threesome story with the groom or bride, tell it.

 

[MLawrence]

So stand up say Congrats! Then sit down?

Know thy audience and know thy groom.

 

[coolerifyoudid]

Bachelor party stories always go over well in these circumstances. Be descriptive and don't be afraid to include hand gestures.

 

[CtownCyclone]

Short and classy is the way to go.

I kind of hated my niece’s husband after the speeches, which went on 90 minutes between two best men, two maids of honor, and four parents.

I took one of the rambunctious kids out when one of the best men was talking, came back a half hour later, and he is still saying stuff none of the kids or anyone needed to hear.

Really glad I got married in the 80’s when it was a lot more simple.

Drunken Maid of Honor speeches are the worst. So much crying and blubbering.

 

[BCClone]

Know thy audience and know thy groom.

I had one where I had to get up on a stage on the other end of the head table. I look out and no one is listening to the maid of honor and every one is just talking. So I figured screw it and have a toast that was pretty much an insider one and skipped what I had originally planned, since noone was listening.

 

[BCClone]

Drunken Maid of Honor speeches are the worst. So much crying and blubbering.

Unless she is single, then the best man is deeply paying attention.

 

[CycloneRulzzz]

Just tell them how much you care about them and reflect on something you and he share from a while back. Nostalgia brings out the feels every time.

That's what I did when toasting for my friend. Of course the sensitive, mushy stuff is what I do best.

 

[Bipolarcy]

Presenting a slideshow of the bride in bed with the future father-in-law and a Dalmatian shepherd is always a sure laugh-getter.

 

[madguy30]

For the love of all that exists please no 'Top 5' lists.

 

[EvilBetty]

Dont talk about how hot the bride’s sister is. My cousin went to a wedding where the best man had a few drinks and repeatedly mentioned this during the speech.

oof