do's and don'ts of the best man's wedding speech

[Al_4_State]

1) don’t be afraid to tell a funny story about the groom, but for the love of Christ, keep it to something completely non-sexual. The best best-man speech I witnessed involved the one brother telling a hilarious drunk idiot story about the brother getting married that had the room in tears.

2) don’t get hammered. A buzz is fine, and helps if you’re someone who is a little stiff sober. But slurring your speech and rambling loses everyone and you look like a dumb ass.

3) prepare in advance. Nothing wrong with ad libbing, but know your main points. When I did my brother’s wedding speech, the theme was built around how he went through intense phases of interest in a subject or hobby, but his wife was the first thing in his life that stuck. My SIL was in tears.

4) Keep it quick. 2-3 minutes tops. Like a good pop song. It’s awful when the speeches drag on because no one can piss or get a refill.

5) if you’re inserting an inside joke, don’t linger on the reference. The people who get it will get it. The people who don’t will be confused.

 

[throwittoblythe]

Once attended a wedding where the maid of honor was talking about how many men the bride had dated before meeting the groom, when the groom's father yelled out, "How MANY? We wanta KNOW."

Yeah, no, that marriage did not last long.

Hope your speech went/goes better for everyone's sake.

Went to a wedding once where the father of the bride gave a speech. In reference to the groom, he said “when she brought him home I was not a big fan. To be honest I’m still not a huge fan. But she loves him, so..”

He did not laugh. It was not a a joke.

 

[DGC]

The easiest best man speech should sound something like this, "A best man's speech should not last longer than the amount of time it take the groom to make love after the party. I'm out of time, have a good night!" add the mic drop if you want.

 

[NWICY]

Don't bang the bride in the coat closet beforehand.

Well as long as you don't get caught

 

[DGC]

Well as long as you don't get caught

And if you do get caught remember that words of Shaggy “wasn’t me”

 

[HOTDON]

Don't bang the bride in the coat closet beforehand.

Wait, don't!? So the bride is like his sister or cousin or something in this scenario?

 

[WartburgClone]

Don't have friends so then you don't get invited to weddings and don't have to do this.

 

[cstrunk]

Hold the microphone up to your mouth and speak up. Nobody likes a mumbler.

 

[ISUCyclones2015]

I am also doing this in a few months for the first time. Following the thread but nothing said is world shattering.

The big discussion is do I bring up or do something with the Maid of Honor, the sister of the bride, and it's been a running joke for several years that we should date/marry. I'm leaning no since it's too inside of a joke at this point.

 

[HititHard]

Above all else remember no one in the history of weddings ever went to a wedding to hear the best man speech.
So thank everyone congratulate them then shut the **** up and sit the **** down.

 

[Cyclones01]

Years ago, we went to a wedding where the best man told the groom, his actual brother, that he "considered him a brother". He wasn't joking. I wish I could remember what other dumb things he said, but my wife and I were in tears from laughing by the end. It was the greatest and must unintentionally funny best man speech I've ever heard.

 

[cyclone13]

Years ago, we went to a wedding where the best man told the groom, his actual brother, that he "considered him a brother". He wasn't joking. I wish I could remember what other dumb things he said, but my wife and I were in tears from laughing by the end. It was the greatest and must unintentionally funny best man speech I've ever heard.

A friend mentioned that he went to a wedding where the best man, the actual brother said “I have known him for a long time.”…….

 

[cyclonedave25]

I am also doing this in a few months for the first time. Following the thread but nothing said is world shattering.

The big discussion is do I bring up or do something with the Maid of Honor, the sister of the bride, and it's been a running joke for several years that we should date/marry. I'm leaning no since it's too inside of a joke at this point.

Inside jokes told in front of crowds never go well.

 

[KnappShack]

I am also doing this in a few months for the first time. Following the thread but nothing said is world shattering.

The big discussion is do I bring up or do something with the Maid of Honor, the sister of the bride, and it's been a running joke for several years that we should date/marry. I'm leaning no since it's too inside of a joke at this point.

If you can subtly mix it in where it doesn't impact the flow or confuse the audience

Otherwise stay away

 

[Mr Janny]

A friend mentioned that he went to a wedding where the best man, the actual brother said “I have known him for a long time.”…….

I went to a wedding where the best man, the groom's brother, was telling a story about the groom and stammered "So, as many of you know, my brother and I grew up together...as siblings often do.". He actually got a pretty good laugh out of the crowd.

 

[throwittoblythe]

I’ve done this a few times. Here are my pointers (some have already said these):

• Make the focus the bride/groom, not you.
• Mix in humor but keep it tasteful. There’s a line here depending on your relationship with the couple.
• Have a point to the stories you’re telling. It needs to tie to the marriage. (An easy one is a story about when they met or the first time your buddy told you about this girl)
• Look up YouTube videos on basic story structure (before, change, after, etc)
• Don’t try and memorize it or rely on your notes if you can avoid it.
• Above all, speak from the heart. That’s the most important thing.

 

[cyfanatic13]

I wish someone had given this advice to my wife's underage sister.

Just kidding it was hilarious. Still hold it over her head 11 years later.

At least the best man speech from that wedding was great

 

[JP4CY]

I am also doing this in a few months for the first time. Following the thread but nothing said is world shattering.

The big discussion is do I bring up or do something with the Maid of Honor, the sister of the bride, and it's been a running joke for several years that we should date/marry. I'm leaning no since it's too inside of a joke at this point.

The MoH isn't into pizza knivers so you have no chance.

 

[CapnCy]

Went to a wedding once where the father of the bride gave a speech. In reference to the groom, he said “when she brought him home I was not a big fan. To be honest I’m still not a huge fan. But she loves him, so..”

He did not laugh. It was not a a joke.

Yeah, I've been to some weddings where the "mic time" was a bit much (dads, best man, maid of honor, sisters, etc) and I've seen similar to what you shared....more a short courtship and all speeches had a weird "haven't known them long, but seem to be a great fit"

 

[clonebb]

Get drunk and embarrass yourself and them.