Friday OT: To Card or Not to Card

[Angie]

Thanks so much to @CRcyclone6 for this topic! I will put it in your words:

Since it's grad party season, I was thinking of this. Can go for weddings, showers, etc too. If you're invited and can't go, do you still send a gift? A card with $$ or whatever. We seem to have a crap load this year and have a list of what to send since we can't make all of them. What do others do? Does it depend on who it is?

 

[jcyclonee]

Thanks so much to @CRcyclone6 for this topic! I will put it in your words:

Since it's grad party season, I was thinking of this. Can go for weddings, showers, etc too. If you're invited and can't go, do you still send a gift? A card with $$ or whatever. We seem to have a crap load this year and have a list of what to send since we can't make all of them. What do others do? Does it depend on who it is?

If we are invited and can't make it, we generally send something. What we send depends upon how close the relationship is with us or our kids.

 

[JM4CY]

Send money when you can't go and at least get a crummy maidrite?!?! In THIS economy?!?!?

 

[carvers4math]

We send a card and money.

When we had kids in school, we were going to dozens of grad parties every year. At least you had a few weeks where you didn’t have to cook much.

I kept a good record of what my kids got so if someone dropped a large amount on them, I didn’t just throw a $10 at them.

Plus our friends had to deal with us having five kids.

Kind of a relief we only have four invites this year.

 

[JM4CY]

We send a card and money.

When we had kids in school, we were going to dozens of grad parties every year. At least you had a few weeks where you didn’t have to cook much.

I kept a good record of what my kids got so if someone dropped a large amount on them, I didn’t just throw a $10 at them.

Plus our friends had to deal with us having five kids.

Kind of a relief we only have four invites this year.

That's a good call. I haven't dealt with this yet but that's a good thing to think about.

 

[Angie]

I have a pile of cards I need to fill out to either send or take!

 

[CascadeClone]

Depends who it is.

Also depending on who it is, they might get a homemade card. By that I mean a piece of paper folded in half, with some off-color or mildly inappropriate words. e.g. a friend's kid graduated hs a couple years ago, and I forgot to get a card, so just wrote "don't go to college and be a drunken idiot like your Uncle Joey". This was well received. As was the $50 lol.

 

[pourcyne]

Usually don't get invited (thank goodness), but draw the line at sending anything to a kid I haven't laid eyes on since they were toddlers.

Have sent $ to neighbor kiddos who didn't invite us, but who have always been unfailingly friendly and polite. That deserves recognition, in my book.

Rude slackers should get a hearty handshake, but nothing more.

Used to send $ and a card for folks I've known who passed away, but now contribute to their memorials if it's a cause that I believe in, like our small-town public library.

 

[CRcyclone6]

We send a card and money if we can't go. Amount depends on who it is, how close we are to them, etc.

 

[houjix]

Two events this weekend. My cousin's kid's graduation party and my wife's cousin's wedding reception. Locked into the wedding reception well in advance, so sending a card with $20 to the graduation. That'd be my standard for most unless we have a much closer relationship. No idea what we are giving for the wedding, as my wife handled that.

 

[Gonzo]

Thanks so much to @CRcyclone6 for this topic! I will put it in your words:

Since it's grad party season, I was thinking of this. Can go for weddings, showers, etc too. If you're invited and can't go, do you still send a gift? A card with $$ or whatever. We seem to have a crap load this year and have a list of what to send since we can't make all of them. What do others do? Does it depend on who it is?

Depends on who it is. If it's a relative or someone we know well and just can't make it that day we send card and $$$. If it's from someone who we've barely met or haven't had contact with in many years, we ignore.

 

[jcyclonee]

Depends who it is.

Also depending on who it is, they might get a homemade card. By that I mean a piece of paper folded in half, with some off-color or mildly inappropriate words. e.g. a friend's kid graduated hs a couple years ago, and I forgot to get a card, so just wrote "don't go to college and be a drunken idiot like your Uncle Joey". This was well received. As was the $50 lol.

The child of one of our best friends had a grad party last year with a box where you could write advice on cards. My card stated, "Don't listen to me. I give horrible advice."

 

[Clonefan32]

My wife got invited to a wedding shower for a wedding we weren't invited to once. She sent a gift. She's also a waaaaay nicer person than me.

 

[MeanDean]

All depends on the relationship. If they're really good friends or neighbors (or relatives) they get the full treatment. When I get the impression the parents are going through their entire previous school, work, and shoe-string relatives list, looking to cash in, I tend to ignore.

 

[Cyclonepride]

As an aside, greeting cards are the most overpriced waste of money on the planet right now. $6 or more for a ten cent piece of paper with an unoriginal print on it? No thanks. We've stopped giving them.

 

[JP4CY]

As an aside, greeting cards are the most overpriced waste of money on the planet right now. $6 or more for a ten cent piece of paper with an unoriginal print on it? No thanks. We've stopped giving them.

My Mrs actually buys cards from Etsy type people in bulk. Price point isn't too bad and you're supporting independent vs Hallmark.

 

[JP4CY]

Really depends on who it is.
I try to give cash + a gift card to really special people. We have a neighbor who babysat for us, who is going to ISU. Phenomenal kid. I wanted to get her like a Cafe B type of gift card but wife said "all women going to ISU would probably rather have a Target, Starbucks, or HyVee gift card."

 

[LivntheCyLife]

My Mrs actually buys cards from Etsy type people in bulk. Price point isn't too bad and you're supporting independent vs Hallmark.

Good idea. Dollar tree or other dollar stores are also a cheaper option if you need a card fast.

 

[JP4CY]

Good idea. Dollar tree or other dollar stores are also a cheaper option if you need a card fast.

And balloons!

 

[CascadeClone]

As an aside, greeting cards are the most overpriced waste of money on the planet right now. $6 or more for a ten cent piece of paper with an unoriginal print on it? No thanks. We've stopped giving them.

Generally agree, its a racket. But once in a while you find a winner.

For mothers day, helped gf daughter do some shopping. Found the PERFECT card. In beautiful cursive script evoking a spirit of love and genuine affection, it says: "You've been just like a mother to me"

We found this to be hilarious in the extreme, as did her mother (who is of course, her actual mother).