First and foremost, a few links:
Our official question submissions thread: https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...n-weekly-mailbag-questions-submission.251174/
Link to last five mailbags (if bored and need some reading material):
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-12-18-2019.253655/
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-01-08-2020.254206/
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/threads/official-insider-information-weekly-mailbag-01-15-2020.254348/
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-01-22-2020.254482/
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-01-29-2020.254609/
Insider Information Weekly Mailbag 02-05-2020
Presented by Coke Zero. The drink that makes you ask: why do we even have Diet Coke anymore?
@Cy$ asks: who gets more girls? Me or @CloneFan4
Pants: Trick question; you’re both virgins.
GTO: This would be a tie, as I’m sure the number of Manti Te’o girlfriends you each have makes no difference when comparing against each other.
@Cy$ again: Fat chicks need loving too...seems to be the girls i attract anyways?
GTO: Is Nate Stanley’s sister still stalking you?
Pants: I had a coach in high school that once said fat chicks are like mopeds: they’re fun as hell to ride, but it’s embarrassing as **** when you’re seen on one.
@Fitzy asks: You must select two real people, alive or dead, to serve as a candidate and their running mate in the 2020 Presidential election. If your selections pull off a clean sweep and win all 538 electoral votes, you win $1 trillion. Which two people do you pick, and why?
Pants: Jesus/Ghandi. I feel like that covers a lot of the bases. And while not everyone would vote for them, I feel pretty confident they’d carry enough to win every state.
GTO: Our two greatest movie presidents of all time: Thomas J Whitmore (Bill Pullman) from Independence Day and James Marshall (Harrison Ford) from Air Force One. Alternates: Andrew Shepherd (Michael Douglas) from The American President and Tom Beck/Allan Trumbull (Morgan Freeman) from Deep Impact/Olympus has Fallen.
GTO: Damn it! Just realized this said REAL people. How about Lincoln and JFK? I don't think anyone could shoot down that ticket. I would even say that ticket would be bulletproof. Okay, I'll stop now. (apologies to @ImJustKCClone, since I know she lived through both of those)
@Cy$ asks: How do you get cured from being butt ******* ugly? Asking for a friend.
GTO: Work out enough to at least be called a butterface. Hey, it’s better than having both a jacked face and un-jacked body.
Pants: Get a pocket *****.
@Cy$ complaining about getting some attention: how do I get rid of a stalker on CF?
@Doc @jcyclonee
Pants: Are the stalkers Doc and JC? If so, frankly, you should be honored. I’ve drank beer with both of them. Well, Doc drank hard ciders, but same general concept still.
GTO: You could do worse than Doc and JC. However, I didn’t know Doc was getting drunk off the apple juice.
@jcyclonee asks (and apparently also withdraws the question?): Can you do something about all these basketball games being broadcast on ESPN+ and ESPNU? I'm not paying extra for that crap. Actually, hold off on that request until next year when we get all the recruits with cool names on the team.
GTO: In the age of so many streaming services, ESPN+ does not offer enough for me to justify spending money on the service. I can just find a stream of the game and then proceed to watch ISU basketball brick away another game.
Pants: ESPN is literally the worst. Like, the absolute worst. And ESPN+ has nothing to do with it.
GTO: Remember the good ol’ days of ESPN? Back when I was in college, Sportscenter with Stuart Scott and Rich Eisen was must-see TV. I also miss the late night world’s strongest man and strongest women competitions, lumberjack games, etc. Perfect drunk watching after the bars. In my opinion it all started to go downhill when they started broadcasting WAY too much world series of poker crap. Seems like it was 24/7 poker for a while. They should have put Weird Al in charge of scheduling like in UHF and start mix/matching some of the shows like world’s strongest poker players where the poker chips weigh 50 pounds. A little more challenging being all-in then. Or maybe lumberjack vs. coked-up beaver tree felling. Just some ideas.
Our official question submissions thread: https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...n-weekly-mailbag-questions-submission.251174/
Link to last five mailbags (if bored and need some reading material):
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-12-18-2019.253655/
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-01-08-2020.254206/
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/threads/official-insider-information-weekly-mailbag-01-15-2020.254348/
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-01-22-2020.254482/
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-01-29-2020.254609/
Insider Information Weekly Mailbag 02-05-2020
Presented by Coke Zero. The drink that makes you ask: why do we even have Diet Coke anymore?
@Cy$ asks: who gets more girls? Me or @CloneFan4
Pants: Trick question; you’re both virgins.
GTO: This would be a tie, as I’m sure the number of Manti Te’o girlfriends you each have makes no difference when comparing against each other.
@Cy$ again: Fat chicks need loving too...seems to be the girls i attract anyways?
GTO: Is Nate Stanley’s sister still stalking you?
Pants: I had a coach in high school that once said fat chicks are like mopeds: they’re fun as hell to ride, but it’s embarrassing as **** when you’re seen on one.
@Fitzy asks: You must select two real people, alive or dead, to serve as a candidate and their running mate in the 2020 Presidential election. If your selections pull off a clean sweep and win all 538 electoral votes, you win $1 trillion. Which two people do you pick, and why?
Pants: Jesus/Ghandi. I feel like that covers a lot of the bases. And while not everyone would vote for them, I feel pretty confident they’d carry enough to win every state.
GTO: Our two greatest movie presidents of all time: Thomas J Whitmore (Bill Pullman) from Independence Day and James Marshall (Harrison Ford) from Air Force One. Alternates: Andrew Shepherd (Michael Douglas) from The American President and Tom Beck/Allan Trumbull (Morgan Freeman) from Deep Impact/Olympus has Fallen.
GTO: Damn it! Just realized this said REAL people. How about Lincoln and JFK? I don't think anyone could shoot down that ticket. I would even say that ticket would be bulletproof. Okay, I'll stop now. (apologies to @ImJustKCClone, since I know she lived through both of those)
@Cy$ asks: How do you get cured from being butt ******* ugly? Asking for a friend.
GTO: Work out enough to at least be called a butterface. Hey, it’s better than having both a jacked face and un-jacked body.
Pants: Get a pocket *****.
@Cy$ complaining about getting some attention: how do I get rid of a stalker on CF?
@Doc @jcyclonee
Pants: Are the stalkers Doc and JC? If so, frankly, you should be honored. I’ve drank beer with both of them. Well, Doc drank hard ciders, but same general concept still.
GTO: You could do worse than Doc and JC. However, I didn’t know Doc was getting drunk off the apple juice.
@jcyclonee asks (and apparently also withdraws the question?): Can you do something about all these basketball games being broadcast on ESPN+ and ESPNU? I'm not paying extra for that crap. Actually, hold off on that request until next year when we get all the recruits with cool names on the team.
GTO: In the age of so many streaming services, ESPN+ does not offer enough for me to justify spending money on the service. I can just find a stream of the game and then proceed to watch ISU basketball brick away another game.
Pants: ESPN is literally the worst. Like, the absolute worst. And ESPN+ has nothing to do with it.
GTO: Remember the good ol’ days of ESPN? Back when I was in college, Sportscenter with Stuart Scott and Rich Eisen was must-see TV. I also miss the late night world’s strongest man and strongest women competitions, lumberjack games, etc. Perfect drunk watching after the bars. In my opinion it all started to go downhill when they started broadcasting WAY too much world series of poker crap. Seems like it was 24/7 poker for a while. They should have put Weird Al in charge of scheduling like in UHF and start mix/matching some of the shows like world’s strongest poker players where the poker chips weigh 50 pounds. A little more challenging being all-in then. Or maybe lumberjack vs. coked-up beaver tree felling. Just some ideas.