***Official Insider Information Weekly Mailbag 12-11-2019***

[GTO]

First and foremost, a few links:
Our official question submissions thread: https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...n-weekly-mailbag-questions-submission.251174/

Link to last five mailbags (if bored and need some reading material):
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...-information-weekly-mailbag-11-3-2019.252386/
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-11-13-2019.252633/
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-11-20-2019.252903/
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/threads/official-insider-information-weekly-mailbag-11-27-2019.253132/
https://cyclonefanatic.com/forum/th...information-weekly-mailbag-12-04-2019.253299/

Insider Information Weekly Mailbag 12-11-2019
Brought to you by Preparation H, the official sponsor of Kansas State athletics.

With special guest Fitzy!

@CycloneRulzzz getting us started: Damn one just came to mind. For next week's mailbag. This past week we saw a guy get flagged by celebrating a TD by acting like a dog taking a leak. Say you score a touchdown and are going to celebrate in a way that will draw a flag. What's your unsportsmanlike celebration?
Fitzy: I would want to bring back the “dunking the basketball over the crossbar” celebration, which was always awesome until the NFL decided it hated fun and banned it. My goal would be to one-up Jimmy Graham and bring the whole thing down.
Pants: Dry humping the goal post. I actually enjoyed the dog peeing celebration and I thought it was some weak BS that it was even flagged.
GTO: If on the road, the “shake and spray” all over the opposing fans near the end zone (I won’t go over the details, but you can figure it out). At home, probably something classier. Like squatting down and pretending the ball is a turd that just came out of me. In all honesty, I would never do such things, but the hypothetical was posted so I had to answer.

@ImJustKCClone asks: Reading through these & thought of a question, but it's waaaay past the deadline. However, if I don't write it down I won't remember it in an hour due to my advanced case of CRS. So, for next week:
Favorite movie for each of these sports, and why it's the best:
1 football
2 basketball
3 baseball
4 wrestling
5 track
6 tennis
7 golf
Edit - also, in your answer rank the sport movies by preference (ie, you don't have to keep them in this order)
Pants: Football-The Program. Best college football movie ever. And similar to Blue Chips in style. (3.)
Basketball-Blue Chips-Very accurate depiction of recruiting in college athletics. (5.)
Baseball-Bull Durham-Just a fantastic movie with a killer cast. (4.)
Wrestling-The Wrestler-Apparently some people give it crap, but I thought it was a really good movie? (6.)
Track-There are track movies?
Tennis-The Cutting Edge. They probably were at a tennis court at some point. (2.)
Golf-Tin Cup. The best Kevin Costner sports film. No, I am not forgetting any baseball related movies he did when I say that. (1.)
GTO: I’ll preface it by saying that I like most sports movies as comedies.
3 football - The Waterboy - back when Adam Sandler was funny.
1 basketball - Above the Rim, White Men Can’t Jump, or Teen Wolf (does that one count?).
2 baseball - Bad News Bears (the remake with Billy Bob Thornton), The Benchwarmers, The Naked Gun (Reggie Jackson, Enrico Palazzo, and Leslie Nielsen taking over for the umpire made for a great baseball game), or Major League 1 & 2.
6 wrestling - Nacho Libre.
7 track - that Arnold classic: The Running Man (pretty sure that doesn’t count but whatever).
5 tennis - Strangers on a Train - I’m a big Hitchcock fan, so this is a no-brainer for me.
4 golf - Happy Gilmore or Tin Cup are the only two I can think of.
Fitzy:
1. Golf - The Greatest Game Ever Played. It’s a heartstring tugger and golf is my favorite sport to play.
2. Basketball - Space Jam. Michael Jordan and the Looney Tunes. Say no more.
3. Baseball - The Sandlot. The Sandlot has gotten even better with age thanks to the life of some of its memeable moments (FOR-EV-ER, you’re killing me Smalls!).
4. Football - The Longest Yard. I like the Burt Reynolds and Adam Sandler versions so take your pick.
5. Hockey - Miracle. USA, USA, USA!
6. Wrestling - Warrior. Yeah, it’s technically MMA, but I can’t think of an actual movie I like about traditional wrestling.
7. Track & Tennis - 404 Error.

@GTO asks: Whar boxing?
@coolerifyoudid backed me up: KC, you beat me to it. Knowing GTO's a boxing fan, I was going to ask him to rate his top 3 boxing movies. I can think of a number of solid boxing movies before I can think of a tennis movie (good or bad). I can even come up with a good movie for soccer, dodgeball and chess before tennis.
GTO: Favorite boxing movies, in order: 1. Undisputed, 2. Rocky, 3a. Hard Times 3b. Real Steel. HM: Cinderella Man. Guilty Pleasure: Gladiator (the one starring Cuba Gooding Jr and Brian Dennehy).
Fitzy: I’d forgotten about Real Steel, so thanks for reminding me that movie existed.
Pants: Anyone remember Mike Tyson’s Punch Out? That game was my jam.
GTO: Coolest character in that game was Mr. Sandman. Most annoying - Bald Bull.

 

[GTO]

@CoachHines3 trying to get in the mailbag’s good graces: what does coach hines need to do to get in @GTO signature line?
Fitzy: I’ve heard it’s a complicated process that involves learning to dance the Foxtrot and acquiring a pet monkey.
Pants: He needs to become Miss Swan.
GTO: I see you. Just make sure you don’t slip and you may end up there at some point.

@BCClone not done with this whole sports movie madness: How about other sports like bowling and ping pong. I can think of a couple ping pong movies right away. And if GTO says ping pong playa, he needs to be beaten with a stick.
Pants: Bowling-Kingpin, without a doubt. Ping Pong-Balls of Fury-It wasn’t a good movie, but it was a VERY enjoyable movie.
GTO: Bowling - The Big Lebowski, but not just because of Jeff Bridges. John Goodman stole almost every scene he was in (like he does in every movie). Ping Pong - Balls of Fury or… Ping Pong Playa! (ducks stick)
Fitzy: Are there bowling movies other than The Big Lebowski? I’ll count Forrest Gump as a ping pong movie.

@Sigmapolis trying to freshen his movie library: Best five movies of the 2010s decade (2010-2019) and why...?
GTO: Overlord - managed to marry a great war movie with a great horror movie.
The Witch - very haunting and atmospheric horror movie.
The Grand Budapest Hotel - not for everyone, but I really enjoyed this movie and all its characters.
Mad Max Fury Road - a perfect action movie, pure rock and roll!
Deadpool - being a huge fan of the comic book, this was a dream come true and did not disappoint.
Pants: Wasn’t Overlord supposed to at least originally be part of the Cloverfield universe?
Fitzy: I’m going to limit my answer to movies I’ve seen and say they’re in no particular order...
Logan. In a decade dominated by superhero movies, this one took the cake as the best. Gritty and heartbreaking (in a mostly good way).
Inception. Fantastic cast and one of my all-time favorite movie scores from Hans Zimmer.
The Social Network. It’s kind of mind-blowing how well this movie has aged after receiving some initial scrutiny for being so harsh toward robot Zuckerberg.
Arrival. Some of Amy Adams’ best work and I’m a big sci-fi fan.
Life of Pi. I loved the spiritual themes of this movie. I regrettably haven’t read the book and I’m sure it’s better, but the movie inspires a great sense of self-fulfillment.
Pants: Life of Pi-Love the story and the ambiguity of what is real and what isn’t. Book is fantastic as well.
Get Out-Just an absolute horror/thriller instant classic. Solidified Peele as a legit horror dude.
It Follows-Just a creepy concept that stuck with me well after the movie ended.
Ladybird-The artistic style of how scenes were shot were absolutely phenomenal. Great story that kind of boils down to the realization that we’re all just kind of normal human beings.
Eighth Grade-An honest surprise for me. Didn’t have a desire to see it but kept hearing fantastic things about it, so I gave it a try and wasn’t disappointed.

@CloniesForLife asks: 1. I believe the next two games are extremely important. Give me our chances of making the NCAA Tourney if we go: 2-0, 1-1, 0-2
2. If you could go back and play on any ISU team (bball or football), what team would it be and what position would you play? This assumes that whatever you choose you would have the skill to play that position.
3. Name your top 3 celebrity crushes.
Fitzy: Guessing question one was asked prior to the Seton Hall game? (Unless you’re a big believer in Fort Wayne…) So now that 2-0 and 1-1 are the only options, I’ll say our options of making the NCAA Tournament probably only sway about 5% depending on whether we beat Iowa or not. It should mostly come down to what happens during the conference slate, and the Iowa result will only be a factor if ISU is right on the bubble line. I’ll go with 40-45% of making the NCAA Tournament depending on the Iowa game.
If I could go back and play on any team, it’d clearly be the 2014-15 basketball team. So many great players to play alongside and there’s no doubt in my mind we would have beat UAB if I was out there.
Top three celebrity crushes: Alexandra Daddario, Nina Dobrev, Emily Ratajkowski
Pants: 1. 2-0 100%, 1-1, 60%.
2. 2018 football team, offensive line. Because I was an offensive lineman. And god knows we needed all the help there that we could get.
3. Natalie Portman, Shannon Woodward, Grace Helbig
GTO: For the first question, going 2-0 would probably put us at 100%, 1-1 around 50%. Second question, the Royce White Cyclones. I would just be a benchwarmer and come in to pull a Tonya Harding on Anthony Davis to help us move on to the next round. That would have been my only game all year and I would have been suspended for the rest of the tournament. Still worth it. Top 3 celebrity crushes at the moment: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Kristen Bell, Brooke Baldwin.

@Cy$ asks: where's the wait list to be the guest?
Pants: Every time someone asks about being a guest, their application gets moved to the back of the pile.
GTO: I got your list right here!
Fitzy: Who do you know here?

 

[Sigmapolis]

I'm in lesbians with MEW, too, @GTO.

 

[GTO]

@BoxsterCy asks: I am going to ask what everyone is wondering tonight, are @GTO and @cyrocksmypants coming to Orlando? If yes, are we going to get drunk and catch us a leprechaun? I'll split the pot-o-gold with ya.
GTO: I actually don’t think I’ll be able to make it. My mom is coming to visit for a few months starting on 12/18, so don’t plan on any travel for a bit. By the way, what are you supposed to do with a leprechaun once you catch him/her? Asking for a friend.
Fitzy: Since this question was asked during the week where I’m the special guest, I can only assume that I’m entitled to a split of that pot-o-gold.
Pants: I’m really trying. Plane tickets aren’t expensive since I’m coming from DC instead of Iowa. The only thing I’m trying to get nailed down is care for me dog. And yes, you can buy me some drinks.
GTO: Pants - I have three words for you: emotional support animal. Use that for the airplane. At the hotel and the game - seeing eye dog. If stadium security asks why a blind man would want to be in the game, tell them: “I don’t know. Because they’re paid to be refs?”

@Sigmapolis asks: Would you please rank the five best guard corps in school history?
One obviously one, as an example --
Morris, Mitrou-Long, Thomas, Burton, Jackson, Weiler-Babb
Fitzy: I’m too lazy to research rosters from teams prior to when I was born, so my cutoff is 1993 and I’ll list the top five guards from each season (must be listed as a guard on sports-reference.com in order to qualify). It may seem like I’m biased toward some of the recent seasons but I’m weighting depth over individual stardom.
1. 2016-17. Morris, Mitrou-Long, Burton, Thomas, Jackson.
2. 2018-19. Shayok, Horton-Tucker, Wigginton, Weiler-Babb, Haliburton.
3. 2013-14. Kane, Mitrou-Long, Morris, Thomas, Dorsey-Walker.
4. 2000-01. Tinsley, Sullivan, Horton, Hawkins, Fortune.
5. 1992-93. Thigpen, Bayless, Hoiberg, Brown, N/A.
Just missed: 2003-04. Stinson, Sullivan, Blalock, Neal, Fries.
Pants: Fitzy, in case you can’t tell, Sig is a big fan of making us write dissertations. I honestly don’t know if I can answer this, solely because I couldn’t really tell you full on guard corps for any teams before 2013. Like, all of the backups even? How the **** do people even start to remember that stuff? Weren’t Thug Lyfe and McGee on the same team? Sure, whatever one that was.
Fitzy: Sig and cyclones500 make sure I always hit my daily word quota!
GTO:
1. 2013-14. Kane, Mitrou-Long, Morris, Thomas, Dorsey-Walker.
2. 2000-01. Tinsley, Sullivan, Horton, Hawkins, Fortune.
3. 2011-12. Lucious, McGee, Christopherson, Babb, Allen
4. 2016-17. Morris, Mitrou-Long, Burton, Thomas, Jackson.
5. 2018-19. Shayok, Horton-Tucker, Wigginton, Weiler-Babb, Haliburton.

@jsb trying to get us to admit our love: Was I the best guest you’ve had?
Does any other team play juicy wiggle? (For those of you not at the game, they broke it out after tyrese’s 3.) How many times per game should it be played? I’m of the opinion that they could play it 3 times per game without overkill.
GTO: Best we ever had? Might have to try again and see. As far as Juicy Wiggle, we should play it non-stop after everything that happens in the game. Pretty much like Boomer Sooner. Maybe that way it will just die quickly (I’m kind of sick of it, if you can’t tell).
Fitzy: I’ll refrain from commenting on the best guest question out of respect to those that came before me. IMO, Juicy Wiggle is best suited as a one-time-per-game thing. It’s more of a male climax than a female climax, per se.
Pants: Number one in my heart, absolutely. As for Juicy Wiggle, I’m with Fitzy on this one. It seems fun, but if we’re hearing that multiple times per game, every game, it’s going to start to lose its luster real quick.

@CoKane with a question related to hate week: Which Iowa player do you want to see get dunked on the hardest? Also, which Hawkeye player tries to pull a Baylor football and starts picking fights because they're ********? My money is on Fran Jr but could see Jor-Bo or Pemsl being that guy
GTO: I have no doubt Connor will be the instigator, but some other goon will come to protect him (Pemsl most likely). Any of them being dunked on would be great, but what I would like to see is a hard screen from Solo right on JorBo’s hip. Is that wrong to say?
Fitzy: Jordan Bohannon. Wait, no… Cordell Pemsl. Wait, no… Connor McCaffery. Aw hell… Just line them up and let Conditt pull off the triple posterizer.
Pemsl will be the honorary Baylor footballer. This game is his Super Bowl, as evidenced by his miracle recovery from injury to only appear in last year’s Cy-Hawk game only to immediately shut it down for the season afterward.
Pants: I want to see Garza dunked on the hardest, just because he’s a tall dude that they are in love with, kind of like early Woody before they turned on him. Don’t know who would dunk on him though. Conditt? We don’t really seem like we have many power dunkers on this team.
Also, definitely Connor.

@ImJustKCClone asks: Which Hawkeye player will rise from his deathbed to play in the game this year?
Fitzy: The ghost of Jarrod Uthoff will inhabit Joe Weiskamp’s body in the first half of this year’s game, only to disappear completely in the second half.
Pants: JorBo will go off for 30 on us, then go for his medical redshirt.
GTO: Iowa City Hospital doctors are feverishly working on a new procedure to apply Flex Seal to Nunge’s torn ACL.

 

[GTO]

@NWICY asks: Who will send more fans to the Camping bowl, us or the Domers? I was going to use the term fish eaters but you know I'm sensitive and woke about those type of things.
How long into the game before we either get a Iowa Sucks or F*ck Iowa chant at the mbb game Thurs nite. GTO please insert why not both GIF.
Pants: Definitely Iowa State. Notre Dame's fans are not going to be up for this game at all.
Also, I’m going to just start the “**** Iowa” thing right now, so 6:47pm EST on Tuesday, 12/10/19.
GTO: Iowa State for sure will send more people to the Camping World Bowl. I predict 65% Clone fans, 34.90% ND fans, and .10% Hok fans wearing their stupid school colors. Anti-Iowa chants will start right at their player intros. It will be **** Iowa for sure.
Fitzy: I’m pretty confident Iowa State fans will represent better at this game simply because Notre Dame fans are disappointed in the bowl and disappointed in their opponent. They’ll stay home for the holidays and watch Rudy on repeat instead.
The chant will be “**** the Hawkeyes” and it will happen well before tip time.
Pants: **** the Hawkeyes, clap, clap, clap-clap-clap just flows so well!

@NWICY again, trying to figure things out: So is @Fitzy doing this pro bono or is he a deep plant sent over by @ChrisMWilliams to see what you 2 are actually up to?
GTO: Fitzy, we’re going to need you to open your shirt to check for a wire.
Fitzy: GTO and Pants promised me $10,000 and a lifetime supply of Costco free samples (redeemable in-store only) for my appearance today.
Pants: Looks like Fitzy found out early about our Costco free sample sponsorship.
GTO: Sorry, Fitzy. Forgot to mention the 10,000 was in Venezuelan Bolivars, not US Dollars. So around $0.23 going by today’s conversion rate.
Fitzy: Sweet! My plan of getting you to pay me something instead of nothing has worked masterfully!

@CloneLawman asks: What do you suppose was Surly 's reaction to the Camping World Bowl selecting ISU (and not the forces of EMAW)?
Fitzy:

Pants: Sad (GTO, please make sure that translates in the comic sans typeface)
GTO:

@jcyclonee asks: Is bringing in Fitzy an indication that you are conducting a hostile takeover of CF?
GTO: Not confirming anything at this time, but there is an “Under New Management” sign at CF’s offices (CW’s basement). CW was seen yesterday bagging groceries at Hy-vee and Randy Peterson has been brought in to do whatever Jared used to do (not much). Fitzy was among the handful of people we decided to keep.
Fitzy: I guess it’s time I let the cat out of the bag… GTO and Pants have been wearing CW and Jared’s skin for quite some time now. GTO gets to be CW on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and every other Saturday. So if you’ve been noticing changes in behavior from CW and Jared lately, that’s why!
GTO: Dang, Fitzy! That’s dark. Like, Texas Chainsaw Massacre dark.
Pants: Please make sure to visit us at Cyclonesfanatic.com.

@cyclones500 asks: On a scale from 1 to 10 (1 least, 10 most), how surprised are you Iowa State got a bid to Camping World Bowl (instead of Liberty/Texas)? Be honest! Revisionism regarding your expectation is not allowed. (I'll consult Santa Claus to verify sincerity).
GTO: 7 that we got into the Camping World Bowl, 10 that it was a match up against ND.
Fitzy: I’m probably at a 2. I always thought the Camping World Bowl was in play if the Big 12 got a team in the College Football Playoff. I would have been at 8+ had ISU ended up there without a Big 12 CFP representative.
Pants: Probably a 6? I thought it would be Cheez it or Liberty, so pleasantly surprised. That said, I have no idea anymore on what bowls are actually good bowls and what ones aren’t because they ALL have stupid names now.

@BCClone asks: Apparently jsb likes to wiggle her juicy, are Pants and her meeting up at the bowl?
Pants: Would.
GTO: Pants would.
Fitzy: Wood.

@BCClone again: Is surly a woman named bob?
Pants: Twist: @surly is Michael Bishop.
GTO: Surly is a Tuco alt he uses to post all kinds of dumb **** to get people to hate K-State more than they hate Kansas. Either that, or Surly is Bruce Weber.
Fitzy: Surly is quite obviously Bill Snyder. Comic sans and purple font for his posts are about as hand-written letter as you can get on the internet.

@Cyched throwing KC a bone: Can a short person talk down to a tall person?
GTO: Tyrion Lannister did it all the time, so I will say yes.
Fitzy: Yes. Brent Blum does this masterfully to Hawkeye trolls on Twitter.
Pants: Is the tall person laying down?

@cmjh10 doing some recycling: Is cereal a soup?
Fitzy: Soups must be hot/warm, so no.
Pants: You’ve already asked this, old man.
GTO: No new research or new information has come out regarding this since this was last addressed in the mailbag so, no, not a soup.

 

[ImJustKCClone]

With special guest Fitzy!

@ImJustKCClone asks: Reading through these & thought of a question, but it's waaaay past the deadline. However, if I don't write it down I won't remember it in an hour due to my advanced case of CRS. So, for next week:
Favorite movie for each of these sports, and why it's the best:
1 football
2 basketball
3 baseball
4 wrestling
5 track
6 tennis
7 golf
Edit - also, in your answer rank the sport movies by preference (ie, you don't have to keep them in this order)
Pants: Football-The Program. Best college football movie ever. And similar to Blue Chips in style. (3.)
Basketball-Blue Chips-Very accurate depiction of recruiting in college athletics. (5.)
Baseball-Bull Durham-Just a fantastic movie with a killer cast. (4.)
Wrestling-The Wrestler-Apparently some people give it crap, but I thought it was a really good movie? (6.)
Track-There are track movies?
Tennis-The Cutting Edge. They probably were at a tennis court at some point. (2.)
Golf-Tin Cup. The best Kevin Costner sports film. No, I am not forgetting any baseball related movies he did when I say that. (1.)
GTO: I’ll preface it by saying that I like most sports movies as comedies.
3 football - The Waterboy - back when Adam Sandler was funny.
1 basketball - Above the Rim, White Men Can’t Jump, or Teen Wolf (does that one count?).
2 baseball - Bad News Bears (the remake with Billy Bob Thornton), The Benchwarmers, The Naked Gun (Reggie Jackson, Enrico Palazzo, and Leslie Nielsen taking over for the umpire made for a great baseball game), or Major League 1 & 2.
6 wrestling - Nacho Libre.
7 track - that Arnold classic: The Running Man (pretty sure that doesn’t count but whatever).
5 tennis - Strangers on a Train - I’m a big Hitchcock fan, so this is a no-brainer for me.
4 golf - Happy Gilmore or Tin Cup are the only two I can think of.
Fitzy:
1. Golf - The Greatest Game Ever Played. It’s a heartstring tugger and golf is my favorite sport to play.
2. Basketball - Space Jam. Michael Jordan and the Looney Tunes. Say no more.
3. Baseball - The Sandlot. The Sandlot has gotten even better with age thanks to the life of some of its memeable moments (FOR-EV-ER, you’re killing me Smalls!).
4. Football - The Longest Yard. I like the Burt Reynolds and Adam Sandler versions so take your pick.
5. Hockey - Miracle. USA, USA, USA!
6. Wrestling - Warrior. Yeah, it’s technically MMA, but I can’t think of an actual movie I like about traditional wrestling.
7. Track & Tennis - 404 Error.

Fitzy - penalty box for throwing in hockey (although your movie choice is one of my favorite sports movies)
Pants - Toe Pick! But they were never on a tennis court...
GTO: Your track choice was better than the efforts of Fitzy and Pants, but...

Come ON, guys! It won FOUR Oscars, including Best Picture!

 

[GTO]

@cmjh10 again: How do you feel about putting pineapple on a pizza?
Pants: It’s delightful. Weird that people hate on it so much. Especially when you pair it with something like pepperoni or ham, it’s a great mixture of salty and sweet. Also, the acidity in pineapple helps you digest food. In Hawaii, if you go to McDonald’s they even give you a little cup of pineapple with it. But also, don’t even try to say Hawaiian pizza is actually Hawaiian if you’re in Hawaii. Hawaiian pizza would have kalua pig on it, not pineapple.
GTO: Pineapple on pizza is only allowed in tropical climates while wearing flip flops and some sort of floral shirt. So, no. Not in Iowa (proceed to knock pineapple pizza from cmjh10’s hand).
Fitzy: I’m pro-choice. ****WHEN IT COMES TO PIZZA PLEASE DON’T BAN ME AGAIN MODS I’VE BEEN SO GOOD LATELY****

@jcyclonee trying to figure out who to party with: How many of the engineering students from ISU are going to go to Orlando, skip the game, and geek out on the Harry Potter and Star Wars attractions?
GTO: I don’t really understand why engineers get picked as the biggest nerds when there was a whole computer science department at ISU.
Fitzy: Why limit this to engineering students? I wouldn’t blame them at all. Harry Potter World is awesome and I can’t wait to try out Galaxy’s Edge at some point.
Pants: Engineers are ******* nerds.
But I’d totally go to the Harry Potter place.

@jcyclonee asks: This is a mailbag question.
What do you think of N-Dubs apophasis?
Fitzy: Live and let live.
Pants: I would never want to judge it, especially if it were something really awful.
GTO: Never seen it, but have heard stories...

@mdk2isu asks: Now that we know the bowl destinations for all teams, what matchups are you most looking forward to? Least looking forward to? Upset picks? Playoff predictions?
On a related note, whats Scott Frost gonna be up to for the next month?
Pants: Not including Iowa State, I’m assuming? Obviously, I’m a Hawaii fan, so I’m really looking forward to the Hawaii Bowl with BYU vs. Hawaii. That should be a fun matchup. Least looking forward to Iowa/USC because USC is not good, but is a name brand team, so when Iowa beats them, they’ll be considered world beaters. Upset will actually be Oklahoma over LSU. Then Ohio State beats Oklahoma for the championship.
Frost will be shining up the Playoff Dark Horse award he got this preseason.
GTO: Besides our own bowl game, of course, here are the ones I’ve circled on my calendar: Penn State vs Memphis, Iowa vs USC (for reasons), the CFP games, OSU vs ATM, Alabama vs Michigan. Least looking forward to: Navy vs. KState - may only be two possessions all game. Upsets: Memphis over Ped State, ISU over ND, and OU over LSU. Clemson will repeat as champion. Scott Frost will be seen asking Hoiberg for tips on how to win games.
Fitzy: I can’t wait to see Kansas State get destroyed by Navy in the Liberty Bowl. It will also be quite entertaining to watch the Citrus Bowl - will Alabama actually show up for that game, or will Michigan get a “program changing” (lol) win that keeps Harbaugh around for another three years? As for least looking forward to, that would have to be the Outback Bowl between Minnesota and Auburn. I predict Auburn sinks P.J. Fleck’s battleship in that one.
Consider Texas A&M (-6) to be on upset watch in the Texas Bowl against Oklahoma State. Mike Gundy has already done a great job getting those defectors lathered up by calling them the best 7-5 team in college football history.
Playoff predictions: Clemson over Ohio State, LSU over Oklahoma. Clemson upsets LSU to repeat as champions.
Scott Frost will continue his purge of all long-sleeve shirts from Nebraska’s campus, including those worn by non-football players. GBR!

@Doc and his solid new avatar asks: If you were to take a year off from work and have a decent amount on cash on hand, what would you do with yourselves?
GTO: drive through every state in the contiguous US and hit all kinds of tourist traps along the way.
Fitzy: I’d travel a bit. Maybe do a month of going places domestically that I’ve been wanting to check out (national parks and coastal cities) before dedicating another month or two to hitting up every continent not named Antarctica. There are a lot of cool things to see that reading about just won’t do justice.
Pants: Move to Australia. I want to live there at some point in my life anyway, plus I could mark off a lot of bucket list items there, like swimming with a Great White shark.

@VegasCy trying to embarrass the Insider Information Crew: (quoted from last week’s mailbag) @VegasCy after a short break: What bowl are we going to? Every website I’ve seen has said Liberty, but CW on the radio today said that if OU goes to the playoff we have a shot at getting ND in the Camping World Bowl.
Pants: ******* Liberty. Again.
GTO: I would say I want some of what CW is smoking, but I’m afraid I would OD. No ****ing way we go to Camping World bowl and even crazier if someone thinks they would match a 10-2 Notre Dame against a 7-5 team. Sorry, CW, that’s just dumb as ****. My guess is also Liberty Bowl against a G5 team. I would prefer we drop to a lower bowl in the state of Texas against a mediocre P5 team. That way at least I can attend the game.
How do you take your crow, grilled, fried, or baked?
Fitzy: It’s a good thing last week’s Mega Mailbag had some very accurate predictions. Hopefully you read that as well.
Pants: I just wanted Fitzy to feel good about his mailbag, since he so rarely does them.
GTO: I was trying to throw you guys off the scent so as not to spoil the surprise.

 

[Cy$]

My mayonnaise question got ignored...

 

[Sigmapolis]

These were easy.

Football -- The Waterboy

Basketball -- White Men Can't Jump

Baseball -- Major League

Wrestling -- Man on the Moon

Track -- Without Limits

Tennis -- Battle of the Sexes

Golf -- Caddyshack

 

[Doc]

My mayonnaise question got ignored...

They also ignored my question asking whether poop is a meat.

 

[Cy$]

They also ignored my question asking whether poop is a meat.

if it's mine then probably carbs as demonstrated in the help im fat thread

 

[jcyclonee]

Fitzy - penalty box for throwing in hockey (although your movie choice is one of my favorite sports movies)
Pants - Toe Pick! But they were never on a tennis court...
GTO: Your track choice was better than the efforts of Fitzy and Pants, but...

Come ON, guys! It won FOUR Oscars, including Best Picture!

Chariots of Fire is so boring. It's not The English Patient but it's close.

 

[GTO]

Sorry, conference call. A few more to go.

 

[CoachHines3]

look i only ask the hard hitting questions.

if u cant handle the heat, dont tickle the dragon!

 

[GTO]

@Ms3r4ISU observes: And a tall person can suck up to a short one. Sorry, that wasn't a question, but you can make it one if you want to answer it.
GTO: I may need to do some research on this.
Fitzy: Sounds sexual.
Pants: Whoa Ms3! This is a good, catholic home!

@VegasCy trying to stir up some ****: I'm a loyal Super Fan, so I did not submit to the Mega Mailbag. Did you read it and what were your thoughts on this "other" mailbag?
GTO: I always check out the competition to see how we measure up against them. I give you a hall pass to go check out that other mailbag since I know that only happens once or twice a season and you’ll be right back here every week.
Fitzy: The person answering the questions over there probably has many leather-bound books and his abode likely smells of rich mahogany.
Pants: Seems kind of lazy to only do it once every four months. Just saying…..

@BCClone asks: Why do you sometimes regret answering all the questions?
Pants: I don’t regret answering them all. I regret making the rule that said we answer them all.
GTO: I like everyone’s questions and don’t mind answering them. Except when I have a busy Tuesday or Wednesday at work and makes keeping up with the mailbag that much harder.
Fitzy: Answering questions is like eating leftovers. Should you technically eat all of the leftovers to avoid being wasteful? Yes. Do you eventually get sick of eating leftovers and just want to toss the rest in order to eat something new? Also yes.

@BCClone asks: I found a miracle whip jar full of pennies at moms house this afternoon. How many pennies are in it? Easier than counting them since you guys are all ever knowing.
GTO: Miracle Whip? Your mom has questionable taste in condiments. As far as number of pennies, I would put it somewhere north of 1000 pennies. Might get you about 1 fast-food meal, a brand new DVD copy of The Notebook, or 1/2 a lapdance. Spend it wisely.
Fitzy: If it’s a standard 30 oz Miracle Whip jar, and you factor in the unique air density of your location as well as the average temperature over the last 30 days to account for expansion, you’re likely looking at somewhere north of five pennies in that jar. Congrats!
Pants: The question is whether the pennies are pre-1982 pennies or post-1982 pennies, because they have different masses, and older pennies weigh less than new ones and are thinner than new ones through wear. An average penny takes up .360 cubic centimeters and the average quart is 57.75 cubic inches, or 946.352 cubic centimeters, so the approximate figure is 2628.7555 repeating pennies, or to round, 2629 pennies. So... about 26 bucks.

@VegasCy asks: Who do you have the most empathy for regarding the decision to invite ISU to the CWB?
1. ND fans- went 10-2 and have to settle for the CWB against a 7-5 team
2. KSU- they are really not happy about this
3. OSU- if their quarterback is healthy, are they in this game?
4. Liberty Bowl- I’ll watch this game because I’m a degenerate, but Navy vs KSU may not break 100 yards combined passing yards
Fitzy: Notre Dame fans. I totally understand why they’re disappointed, but at the same time, join a freaking conference you elitist ********. Second would be OSU fans, but they were in the Camping World Bowl just two years ago, so I don’t think it’s that big of a deal to them. The Liberty Bowl knew their spot in the pecking order, so not much sympathy reserved for them. KSU fans can EABOD.
Pants: I don’t have empathy for anything, but I’ll answer as if I did.

1. Liberty Bowl-They treated us so well and this is what they get in return.
2. OSU
3. ND fans-If we were 10-2, I’d honestly be upset in that situation as well.
4. **** KSU.

GTO: Only the Liberty Bowl, as they really had no choice in the matter. OSU and KState should have won more if they did not want to end up where they did. ND should try not getting teabagged by Michigan, who I already think is a highly overrated team (as I’m sure Bama will expose).

@BCClone asks: What has been lost in Garza’s eyebrows?
Pants: His virginity.
GTO: Jimmy Hoffa’s body.
Fitzy: The Ark of the Covenant.

@BCClone asks: Which character do you say you are most similar to in:
1) Animal House?
2) Young guns?
3) Finding Nemo?
GTO:

1. Haven’t watched it.
2. Jose Chavez y Chavez (Lou Diamond Phillips) - for reasons.
3. 100% Marlin - everything is a risk assessment with me.

Fitzy:
1. Boon.
2. Dirty Steve.
3. Mr. Ray

Pants:
1. Otter
2. Doc.
3. The stoner turtle.

@CloniesForLife asks: 3 CF Posters you would want to meet in real life (can't have already met them).
Fitzy: Excluding my IIWM partners today… @CloniesForLife (duh), @CyJeans, @Farnsworth
Pants: @Cybirdy because she’s bae, @Angie because I heart her and @ArgentCy because it would be an experience.
GTO: @CyTwins, @CycloneRulzzz, @HFCS. HM: @VeloClone, @Daphne in a campus library stall to conduct “experiments”.

@BCClone asks: Worst job you’ve ever had?
Pants: Worked in payday loans for 8 years.
GTO: US Census Bureau. People are surprisingly secretive about how many people live in their house. And even more about how many people are held in their basement.
Fitzy: Wal-Mart sales associate. Dealing with customers was not fun.

 

[GTO]

@cmjh10 asks: How many chickens would it take to kill an elephant?
GTO: Just one chicken attached to the end of an RPG.
Fitzy: One chicken. Were you aware of the Ant-Man/Thanos theory earlier this year?
Pants: Depends on which came first.

@Cy$ asks: is mayonnaise an instrument?
Fitzy: Anything is an instrument when you have enough imagination.
Pants: Of mass destruction, yes.
GTO: No, Cy$. Mayonnaise is not an instrument. Horseradish is not an instrument either.
GTO: Clearly, Fitzy and Pants do not have kids or they would know this episode of SpongeBob.
Pants: ****, I feel like all of my stoner friends would have known this.

@VegasCy asks: If you could only have one of these, which one do you choose?
1. CWB win against ND
2. Home win against Oklahoma in 2020
3. Road win at Iowa in 2020
4. XF starts as a freshman and TH comes back for his Junior year
Pants: I would say 4, but it doesn’t say WHY he starts (does Conditt quit playing basketball?) or why TH comes back (devastating injury trying to rehab for?). So I’m going with 2.
GTO: Home win against OU or win against ND. OU win would mean we have a shot at winning the conference, win over ND would be great for recruiting.
Fitzy: Number four. Two and three would be nice, but they are both only one data point of 12 regular season games. Four would influence all of the basketball games next year and the thought of Haliburton throwing lobs to both Conditt and Foster is mouth-watering.

@cmjh10 with a seasonal question: Best Christmas song?
GTO: Instrumental - Deck The Halls, Classic - White Christmas or The Christmas Song, Modern - I love many of the remixed classics or odd hip-hop versions. Couple of them listed below.
Fitzy: White Christmas, Bing Crosby. I’m a sucker for the classics.
Pants: Fitzy has got it. White Christmas by Bing Crosby. Also Mele Kalikimaka and Blue Christmas.
GTO: some remixed Christmas songs to get you guys in the spirit of the season:





@Cy$ asks: when's my turn?
Fitzy: Meet GTO and Pants on the 9th green at 9.
Pants: GTO, please move Cy$’s resume to the back of the pile.
GTO: After every other CF member, CF guest, and even the website robots. Let us know your availability for the second week of February 2042.

@cyclones500 with a good question for the end of the year mailbag: Before the end of the year, are you gonna post your top 5 or 10 favorite mailbag questions of 2019? If not ... why?
Pants: I forget about every question every person asks as soon as I’ve answered it.
GTO: Are you asking for an end of year special edition of the mailbag? Because that is what it sounds like.
Fitzy: No, because I love all questions equally, just like I’ll love all of my future children equally *wink wink*

@cyclones500 wrapping up this week’s mailbag: I've long been puzzled by this: “Pronunciation” is pronounced as it’s spelled, but the root word is “pronounce.” Why isn’t it spelled (and pronounced) “pronounciation”?
GTO: To differentiate it from “pronounced” referring to something that sticks out? I have no ****ing clue. English isn’t even my first language, bruh.
Fitzy: Because English was created to confuse as many people as possible, and that’s exhibit No. 25,673 proving it.
Pants: Because they have different roots. Pronunciation has latin roots and pronounce has french roots.

 

[jcyclonee]

@Doc and his solid new avatar asks: If you were to take a year off from work and have a decent amount on cash on hand, what would you do with yourselves?

@GTO - Thank you for recognizing @Doc 's avatar. It deserves an award. I might give it the best thing ever made ever award.

 

[GTO]

The End.

Thanks again to our guest this week @Fitzy who seems to know a thing or two about mailbags and did an awesome job!

Also to my PIC @cyrocksmypants for his continued support and contributions.

Until next week!

 

[VeloClone]

@GTO, does this ring a bell?

And don't even think about saying you've never seen it.

 

[Cy$]

@Cy$ asks: when's my turn?
Fitzy: Meet GTO and Pants on the 9th green at 9.
Pants: GTO, please move Cy$’s resume to the back of the pile.
GTO: After every other CF member, CF guest, and even the website robots. Let us know your availability for the second week of February 2042.

This is the thanks I get for posting half nudes in the Help Im fat thread.


BodeClone and I are gonna start our own mailbag anyways.