Teaching Kids Grit

[drednot57]

As the woman was talking about how the most successful students and teachers were the "grittiest" ones of their peers, I thought to myself the coaching profession, especially wrestling, football and hockey coaches are some of the best at teaching grit. Coaches everyday teach perseverance and self motivation, AKA grit, and have much to offer teachers, and parents how to tech kids grit.

 

[cy4life94]

I think this is all you need.

 

[CycloneWanderer]

Psychological resilience (grit) is definitely a learned skill, or set of skills really. I know the speaker probably didn't have time, but I wish she would have mentioned more about ways to improve one's resilience (there are more than just having a learning mindset about failure).

Edit: see my later post for what I meant by more ways to improve resilience.

 

[CyForPresident]

Get them a seasonal job in the Ag industry.

 

[CtownCyclone]

View attachment 57297

I think this is all you need.

I prefer the new version...

 

[madguy30]

Could start with parents not throwing huge parties for their 4 year old's bday.

Not everything you do in life is great, and not everyone is going to be nice.

 

[DeftOne]

 

[CycloneWanderer]

To follow my previous comment, if you are looking for a place to start examining this topic from an applied/academic standpoint I would suggest taking a look at a short article by Paul R. Yost published in 2016 titled "Resilience Practices." It will likely require some form of research access to get to it if you don't want to pay for it. The article is a sort of summary that covers the method mentioned by the speaker in the video above (i.e., Dweck's growth mindset) as well as others.

 

[jbindm]

Good stuff here. Good timing, too. My seven year old isn't exactly what you would call tough. And I go back and forth on how to deal with it. On one hand I don't want to sit a kid down and tell him all about how hard the world can be and if you don't toughen up it will ******* break you. On the other hand I have nightmares about him living in my basement when he's thirty years old because school was "too tough" or the job market "is nonexistent".

I suppose there's a happy medium approach in there somewhere. It's just something that's been on my mind lately.

 

[jbindm]

Get them a seasonal job in the Ag industry.

Detasseling is **** work but it's a great way to develop work ethic and to learn how important it is just to show up.

The kids who showed up every day and got their attendance bonuses were the ones who made out pretty well for a crappy summer job.

 

[Mr Janny]

 

[srjclone]

Drink Paint! That's Grit.


hopefully somebody gets this.

 

[mdk2isu]

I'm currently reading the book "Pound the Stone" by Joshua Medcalf. If I'm not mistaken, CMC had the football team read it this summer. One of the main themes in the book is developing grit. It's written as a parable and is a very easy read. When my daughter gets old enough to read it, I plan to have her do so as a way of teaching her the principles in the book, which are all really good. I'd recommend picking it up if you haven't.

 

[EnhancedFujita]

Good stuff here. Good timing, too. My seven year old isn't exactly what you would call tough. And I go back and forth on how to deal with it. On one hand I don't want to sit a kid down and tell him all about how hard the world can be and if you don't toughen up it will ******* break you. On the other hand I have nightmares about him living in my basement when he's thirty years old because school was "too tough" or the job market "is nonexistent".

I suppose there's a happy medium approach in there somewhere. It's just something that's been on my mind lately.

I don't think you have to do a lot with kids that age other than just letting them experience it. My 9 year old son loved basketball and was super excited to get to play on the 3rd grade club team last year. Ended up that the team was full of kids that knew each other and they'd never pass him the ball, couple that with a coach that didn't teach any sort of fundamental basketball and it was a terrible experience for him. It took a lot for me to not want to intervene and yell at the coach, but that was a good life experience in realizing that things aren't always fair. Unfortunately it soured him to basketball all summer, but hopefully he gets back into it this fall.

I just wish kids sports weren't so insane. I feel like if he ever does decide to get back into basketball he's gonna be light years behind.

 

[coolerifyoudid]

Good stuff here. Good timing, too. My seven year old isn't exactly what you would call tough. And I go back and forth on how to deal with it. On one hand I don't want to sit a kid down and tell him all about how hard the world can be and if you don't toughen up it will ******* break you. On the other hand I have nightmares about him living in my basement when he's thirty years old because school was "too tough" or the job market "is nonexistent".

I suppose there's a happy medium approach in there somewhere. It's just something that's been on my mind lately.

I had the same thoughts when my daughter was that age. I'd hear all of the "helicopter parent" talk and try to make sure I wasn't of them. I think little things like guiding your kid on how to find an answer versus giving them the answer to something is the main thing (whether it be schoolwork or a conflict with a friend). Let them get frustrated and fail so they can learn, but still be there so they know they still have your support.

Looking back, the worry was really unnecessary. It's really easy to overthink things as a parent.


Disclaimer: The fact that I chose to comment on this after some of my posts in Angie's OT parenting thread may lead you to question my credibility.

 

[flynnhicks03]

Could start with parents not throwing huge parties for their 4 year old's bday.

Not everything you do in life is great, and not everyone is going to be nice.

Really? I know there are plenty of things wrong with society these days, but you really believe kids' birthday parties are a big part of the problem (especially 4-year olds)?

 

[Sigmapolis]

I prefer the new version...

I actually think both are brilliant.

 

[CtownCyclone]

I actually think both are brilliant.

How's this for a Friday Confession:
I've never seen the original.

 

[AuH2O]

I had the same thoughts when my daughter was that age. I'd hear all of the "helicopter parent" talk and try to make sure I wasn't of them. I think little things like guiding your kid on how to find an answer versus giving them the answer to something is the main thing (whether it be schoolwork or a conflict with a friend). Let them get frustrated and fail so they can learn, but still be there so they know they still have your support.

Looking back, the worry was really unnecessary. It's really easy to overthink things as a parent.


Disclaimer: The fact that I chose to comment on this after some of my posts in Angie's OT parenting thread may lead you to question my credibility.

These are some great points - particularly about not overthinking things too much. My kids are 12 and 10, and I've probably swung too far in both directions- too tough at times, and intervening too much at others.

I'd add to the above:
1. Don't worry about doing everything right or great as a parent, focus on avoiding dumb stuff. If you avoid doing stupid things as a parent that you know are wrong, your kids will probably turn out fine.
2. Praise effort and improvement, not outcomes. I try to provide as much or more praise for them putting in lots of time practicing on their own in sports or school as I do having a great game or great report card. Tie the result to the hard work leading up to it.
3. If your kids fight with each other or friends, praise them for de-escalating it and finding a resolution (provided that resolution isn't a terrible idea). On the flipside, I focus my discipline not on an argument, but usually in the fact that something fairly minor escalates into something bigger.

 

[Sigmapolis]

How's this for a Friday Confession:
I've never seen the original.

@Angie

Great movies that you've never seen.