Frat vs. Dorms
- Thread starter mkadl
- Start date
Don't tell my wife.
My own experiences with frats weren't very good, so it's hard to promote them. I had a blast in the dorms and wouldn't have changed a thing about my years at ISU.
However, I have seen plenty of networking advantages amongst Greek members in the workplace. If your son chooses to go that route, I certainly wouldn't discourage him. I'd let him get started in the dorms and then then let him make his own choice.
However, I have seen plenty of networking advantages amongst Greek members in the workplace. If your son chooses to go that route, I certainly wouldn't discourage him. I'd let him get started in the dorms and then then let him make his own choice.
I kind of have mixed feelings about "networking advantages." In the old days, didn't we just call that the good old boy system? Shouldn't job candidates be judged by their merits and not their connections? I suppose it is getting ahead, but just seems sort of distasteful.
I agree that the perceptions of fraternities can become a reality in certain houses. If you have someone with latent d-baggery and put him around other d-bag's, I imagine this is the outcome.
There is a reason they say "It's not what you know, it's who you know"
Networking is almost as important nowadays as what you actually achieve.
This is a much more sinister view of "networking" than what it actually is. You act as though I'm suggesting you will get some kind of political appointment or something. I graduated from law school a few years ago and began looking for a job during my third year. Amongst other things, I contacted a few older fraternity alumni I was acquainted with asking if they knew anyone that could help me. They put me in contact with several alumni of the fraternity they knew in the legal profession, who did not necessarily give me a job, but helped put me in contact with people they believed were hiring and put in a good word for me.
What I'm saying is there are few other organizations where a complete stranger would be willing to help you in this manner.
I never claimed it was on the same level, but to say that academic & campus activity encouragement isn't experienced in the dorms is flat out false.
Frats cost more but, your son will likely have more encouragement to get better grades, get involved in extra activities, etc. You get none of that in dorms. Also, in a lot of cases you will have stronger network of relationships after college.
This is coming from someone who hated frats in college.
He has my blessing as long as it's not the PIKES!!!
Felt the need to share given my unique perspective on fraternity life. Full disclosure, I'm a rising senior and a member of one of the larger fraternities on campus. First, I will say that when people say that fraternities aren't for everyone they are absolutely correct, but there is a large group of people that join houses and really flourish.
Both of my parents went to ISU and didn't do the Greek thing, so when I went to school I followed the same path. Lived in the dorms my freshman year with a high school friend (sophomore) and had a good experience. Looked at Greek life a little bit, but was a little wary of how big of a commitment it was. Became a CA/RA during my sophomore year, thus lived alone. At the time I was a part of an organization that was primarilty composed of Greek students and found that I really enjoyed spending time with them (in a non-partying setting). In addition, since I was a CA for about 70 co-ed students, I was finding it hard to interact with my peers in a social setting. Both of those factors combined led me to pledge my house, which has a been a great experience. I lived in the house my junior year and will be in an apartment with three of my "brothers" this year.
Pros to Fraternity Life: Automatic network, like many have referenced, once you join you are automatically connected to thousands of people across the country. I'm pursuing a job that doesn't recruit at ISU and having a network of brothers at different universities across the country was a huge help in landing my internship. High standards, this didn't apply to me because I set high expectations for myself, but if you're someone who struggles with motivations a fraternity does have academic, service, and involvement standards that "force" you to do your best in college. Social, great way to meet both guys and girls. Competition, if you like competition Greek Week and Homecoming are great ways to compete against other houses on campus. There's more but you can PM if you want to know more.
Cons: If you're not ready for it, the time commitment can be burdensome. Some people struggle to balance all of it while maintaining good grades. Living in a house with 50 guys can get a little gross, as I'm sure most can imagine.
In the end, it's all about what your son wants. If you're not ready for it, he'll be miserable, but at the same time, you don't want to regret not giving it a shot. My advice would be to live in the dorms for a semester and do a little research on the house he wants to join, try to hang out with some of the guys so you keep good ties, then you can make his decision on his terms.
Just to add, depending on the house the costs can actually be cheaper to live in the fraternity. Also, August 1st is the deadline so they know how many guys they have living in the house and can set their budget (I was the treasurer for my house last year). It sounds like your son was contacted late in the process, typically kids are recruited for the whole summer, including events, before they have to make a decision.
Feel free to PM me, would be happy to chat over the phone with your son about the options.
Both of my parents went to ISU and didn't do the Greek thing, so when I went to school I followed the same path. Lived in the dorms my freshman year with a high school friend (sophomore) and had a good experience. Looked at Greek life a little bit, but was a little wary of how big of a commitment it was. Became a CA/RA during my sophomore year, thus lived alone. At the time I was a part of an organization that was primarilty composed of Greek students and found that I really enjoyed spending time with them (in a non-partying setting). In addition, since I was a CA for about 70 co-ed students, I was finding it hard to interact with my peers in a social setting. Both of those factors combined led me to pledge my house, which has a been a great experience. I lived in the house my junior year and will be in an apartment with three of my "brothers" this year.
Pros to Fraternity Life: Automatic network, like many have referenced, once you join you are automatically connected to thousands of people across the country. I'm pursuing a job that doesn't recruit at ISU and having a network of brothers at different universities across the country was a huge help in landing my internship. High standards, this didn't apply to me because I set high expectations for myself, but if you're someone who struggles with motivations a fraternity does have academic, service, and involvement standards that "force" you to do your best in college. Social, great way to meet both guys and girls. Competition, if you like competition Greek Week and Homecoming are great ways to compete against other houses on campus. There's more but you can PM if you want to know more.
Cons: If you're not ready for it, the time commitment can be burdensome. Some people struggle to balance all of it while maintaining good grades. Living in a house with 50 guys can get a little gross, as I'm sure most can imagine.
In the end, it's all about what your son wants. If you're not ready for it, he'll be miserable, but at the same time, you don't want to regret not giving it a shot. My advice would be to live in the dorms for a semester and do a little research on the house he wants to join, try to hang out with some of the guys so you keep good ties, then you can make his decision on his terms.
Just to add, depending on the house the costs can actually be cheaper to live in the fraternity. Also, August 1st is the deadline so they know how many guys they have living in the house and can set their budget (I was the treasurer for my house last year). It sounds like your son was contacted late in the process, typically kids are recruited for the whole summer, including events, before they have to make a decision.
Feel free to PM me, would be happy to chat over the phone with your son about the options.
Live in the dorm. Try to get in a learning community where a lot of people on his floor are in his major. Join some clubs/organizations to meet people and build leadership skills.
You don't need the structure of a frat to get the pros of living in a frat. And that way, you don't have to deal with cons of living in a frat either.
You don't need the structure of a frat to get the pros of living in a frat. And that way, you don't have to deal with cons of living in a frat either.
Giving this more thought the biggest difference is commitment.
If you can honestly commit to something join a fraternity you will receive benefits 10 fold
If you can't commit or lack flexibility do not join as it will create too much friction
All in all it is a once in a life time opportunity unless you want to be like Blue from old school.
If you can honestly commit to something join a fraternity you will receive benefits 10 fold
If you can't commit or lack flexibility do not join as it will create too much friction
All in all it is a once in a life time opportunity unless you want to be like Blue from old school.
I chose to commit most of my free time to my campus organization (ISU Paintball Club) therefore I'm glad I didn't have all of the commitments required of a fraternity. I know guys that did both, but looking back I'm glad I didn't have to juggle those schedules. Just another thing to think about if your son already has a club in mind.
If you want your son to be a ********, put him in a frat.
If you want your son to think he's better than everyone else, put him in a frat.
If you want your son to hook up with girls that are blacked out, put him in a frat.
If you want your son to start riots with out of towners for Veishea but then be the first to act like he did nothing wrong and start raising money for the damage he and his buddies caused but act like he raised it all on his own from the good of his heart and swears he and his buddies had nothing to do with the rioting, put him in a frat.
If you want your son coming home and talking about how much he hates the Sigmas, but loves the Kappas, and he had his heart broken by a Tri Del, put him in a frat.
If you want your son to think he's better than everyone else, put him in a frat.
If you want your son to hook up with girls that are blacked out, put him in a frat.
If you want your son to start riots with out of towners for Veishea but then be the first to act like he did nothing wrong and start raising money for the damage he and his buddies caused but act like he raised it all on his own from the good of his heart and swears he and his buddies had nothing to do with the rioting, put him in a frat.
If you want your son coming home and talking about how much he hates the Sigmas, but loves the Kappas, and he had his heart broken by a Tri Del, put him in a frat.
