Hey Rabbuk
A little deeper dive into our discussion last night and overall life....
A while ago I had the blessing of going thru a situation where I was laid off with a bunch of people at the same time. Because we all suddenly had a bunch of free time, and all had worked together, we kept in touch for a while, meeting regularly. (I know, getting laid off a blessing? While I wouldn't have chosen to go thru it willingly, it was...only later, and only from what it taught me).
I observed that while we had all just gone thru a very traumatic event (losing a job) our reactions were greatly varied. Now, certainly, our individual circumstances did play a role in this as well (how leveraged we were, our level of financial security and obligations), but even beyond that, I could see that some who were well positioned reacted very negatively, and some who were not well positioned at all still didn't react that negatively. I concluded that there must be something there, and if it wasn't strictly circumstances, maybe it was controllable.
I didn't much analyze it beyond that, and I'll admit that I didn't understand why I was one of those who didn't flounder and wallow (other than my personal circumstances were secure...even despite some poor choices in my finances...thankfully I had avoided some of the largest decisions that could have sunk me), but I recently heard of some research that hits right to that core idea.
Essentially, it says that our 'genetic set point' for happiness accounts for 50% of our happiness. That seems like kind of a bummer or a lucky break, depending on what side of the coin you fall. Furthermore, it says that the things that happen to us, or our circumstances, only account for 10% of our happiness. That seems odd, one would think that the things we experience play a larger role in our happiness, at least by conventional wisdom...we hear of how a bad thing just makes us sad, or a good thing really brightens our day...but this research indicates that the actual events don't factor that largely into it. So, what's the other 40%? That 40% is our intentional activities...what we do to prepare ourselves for the events that occur in our lives, and how we react to those events, and that is powerful stuff...it says that we can affect a full 40% of our happiness by what we choose to do.
So, while it seems that some us aren't real fans because we don't wail and gnash teeth over a loss by our beloved Cyclones, that may not be the case. Personally, I was frustrated by the loss...lost opportunity to tie in the conference, can no longer say that Baylor has never won in Hilton, affects on tournament seeding, etc. ...but after the end of the game, I simply thought "darnit" (well, a stronger word, TBH) and moved onto something else. Admittedly, I was in a situation where I had an easy distraction where I could instantly shift gears, but there have been other times where that wasn't the case, and I still looked with amazement at the way people just thrashed about in their misery on this board. Now, again, they certainly have the right...but I wonder if they could work on letting it go, if their overall happiness would be improved. I specifically say that for the situation of a fan. I mean, the fan has nearly zero impact on the outcome of the game (I'll make allowances for the people there who can affect the noise/distraction level of the environment)...so to give a situation wherein you have so miniscule control so much power over your happiness seems self destructive to me.
In the end, though, perhaps my happiness set point is higher, and that plays into it, but I also choose to be careful about letting uncontrollable situations control my happiness. It's not easy, especially during football season ;-), but it's a noble goal that can have real payoffs.
A couple articles on that research:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/how-happiness/200805/what-influences-our-happiness-the-most
http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/the-science-of-happiness-your-happiness-set-point/
http://mysuperchargedlife.com/blog/the-science-of-happiness-intentional-activities-to-be-happier/