"Honey, when I die, there's something I want you to do..."

[Jer]

That damned shoe bomber ****ed things up for everyone.

You know the guy planning to be the ass blaster was like WTF dude, you stole my chance.

 

[Jer]

Well searching for ass urn brings back some odd things.

Tip: Don't search Etsy for butt plug or be prepared for a long rabbit hole. BUT, reading reviews is priceless.

Stainless Steel Personal Pocket Urn Keep Your Dearly Departed Closer to Your Heart Than Ever Before Mature Adults Only - Etsy

Our condolences, we’re no strangers to loss and are here to help you keep those loved ones closer to your heart than ever before, with one of our stainless steel POCKET urns! Each urn is lovingly mounted in a large steel paper weight, so you can twerk the whole family into the ocean as you go

www.etsy.com

 

[DevilDog]

Better than having cannabis oil in it anyway.

 

[MJ29]

"Hey, hon. Did you hear about that Australian woman who got caught with a butt plug filled with her dead boyfriend's ashes?"

"Yeah?"

"I'd be honored if you would do the same when I die."

"Ughh, okay, I guess. We'll have to change the will, to arrange for your cremation."

"Oh, no need. I still don't want to be cremated."

"What?"

"Yeah, eventually, we'll have to find a suitable receptacle, but here's a 32oz Yeti tumbler to get you started. Thanks hon!"

Is Angie OK with you sharing this convo?

 

[jcyclonee]

Well searching for ass urn brings back some odd things.

Tip: Don't search Etsy for butt plug or be prepared for a long rabbit hole. BUT, reading reviews is priceless.

Stainless Steel Personal Pocket Urn Keep Your Dearly Departed Closer to Your Heart Than Ever Before Mature Adults Only - Etsy

Our condolences, we’re no strangers to loss and are here to help you keep those loved ones closer to your heart than ever before, with one of our stainless steel POCKET urns! Each urn is lovingly mounted in a large steel paper weight, so you can twerk the whole family into the ocean as you go

www.etsy.com

"Keep your dearly departed closer to your heart than ever before"

The people at Etsy are a little weak in the human anatomy department.

 

[nfrine]

I'm basically ass deep with jokes I could spread. Butt anything I can think of just wouldn't have the same penetration or would be tongue in cheek compared to the punch line quote buried deep in the article.

Do not quit your day job....

 

[aeroclone]

Going to ask the stupid question. So when you’re given a menu of urns, are sex toys now included or do you have to awkwardly call up the funeral home and explain how you want an ass plunger for the remains?

I’ve never seen one but am guessing there aren’t a lot of engravable plugs with a storage spot.

Asking for a friend?

 

[Mr Janny]

Can you imagine the reading of the will?

"To my loving wife: In my life, I tried to give you the moon and stars. Now that I'm gone, all I ask in return is for Uranus."

 

[NebraskaCY]

Google tells me that the average volume of adult ashes is 3-3.5 liters. So either she repurposed an existing toy and added a portion of the ashes, or… you know what? I’m terrified and impressed, either way.

Everyone knows that he specified that his appendage be cremated separately to be in that final resting place.

 

[JM4CY]

Is Angie OK with you sharing this convo?

He might be turned to ashes a little sooner than he wants to.

 

[jcyclonee]

Everyone knows that he specified that his appendage be cremated separately to be in that final resting place.

You are probably right and he probably paid extra for that.

 

[Mr Janny]

Is Angie OK with you sharing this convo?

That is a hypothetical conversation between a fictional married couple that bears no resemblance to me or my wonderful wife. I say this of my own free will.

 

[FallOf81]

Weak. My father in law (not dead) said he wants his ashes to be mixed in a douche, so he can go through my mother in law one more time.

 

[Mr Janny]

Weak. My father in law (not dead) said he wants his ashes to be mixed in a douche, so he can go through my mother in law one more time.

My wife told me that when I die, she wants them to bury me just deep enough that my bare ass sticks out of the ground, so when she comes to visit me, she'll have a place to park her moped.

 

[jcyclonee]

That is a hypothetical conversation between a fictional married couple that bears no resemblance to me or my wonderful wife. I say this of my own free will.

Let's just say the hypothetical couples' names are Junny and Ungie.

 

[Angie]

That is a hypothetical conversation between a fictional married couple that bears no resemblance to me or my wonderful wife. I say this of my own free will.

I don't even HAVE a Yeti tumbler.

 

[BCClone]

I don't even HAVE a Yeti tumbler.

He went with one of those cheaper after market ones? Be careful, it could collapse.

 

[BCClone]

I’m trying to imagine the conversion she had with the embassy and then the conversation they would have had with the father when he was called. As a father imagine getting a call from the US embassy and having this situation explained to you.

 

[jcyclonee]

I don't even HAVE a Yeti tumbler.

Christmas will be here soon.

 

[4cy16]

This story has put a whole new spin on the phrase, " She's got a little junk in her trunk."