8 year-old assaulted on bus. Advice plz.

[ImJustKCClone]

I have been trying for the past hour to come up with something wise or comforting or actionable.
I got nuthin'.

Shame on the parents of the other boy who enable their son to act on his cruel impulses. They are not doing him any favors.

I'm sorry this happened to your son. I hope he moves past it and becomes stronger because of it.

 

[MeanDean]

No one has mentioned this yet and I have no idea of your ability to do this, Is it possible for a parent or other trusted person to take your child to/from school so he's not on the same bus?

(Edit: clone52 beat me to it)

I'm a bit concerned that if this bully is still riding the same bus (and finds out you're pursuing anything legal)... is he likely to act up again?

 

[cycloner29]

This brings back memories of the thread on the wrestler from Roland-Story that sexually assaulted the kid with a pencil.

 

[KnappShack]

Pretty sure that even thought he won't end up facing anything in court. You all can personal sue the school and the kids parents for liable, pain and suffering, and whatever a good lawyer can come up with.

My wife blew out her ACL in the daycare parking lot.

There have been thousands of dollars of out of pocket medical expenses.

Sue 'em all and let God sort it out.

 

[RezClone]

I'm not sure what state this is, but there are limits on parental liability for events like this. I believe Iowa is $2K.

Yeah it's iowa. It's a small town so everyone knows everyone. We will likely never see a dime from the family. A kid at the grocery store pulled me aside and offered his 2 cents on the family, as he is classmates with the kid (like i said, small town)

he told me that he's not shocked at what this kid did to my son. He told me they fled from Missouri because of a similar issue (trying to escape accountibilty for wrongdoing. And from California to Missouri before that.) He's a well known Juvenile Delinquent and the family is as sketchy and shady as they come. Which is what really adds a level of frustration.

I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, but my wife and I are fairly well respected citizens and active in the community. There's no way to say that without sounding like a conceited douche. I say it only to add context.

 

[RezClone]

I DM'd a lawyer that's good. If that's a concern.

Thank you.

 

[BryceC]

Man, I'm not sure what I would do in that scenario, but I'd be furious at all involved. I'm thinking I'd sue the school and that kid's parents.

I’d sue the school, the kids’ parents, and pursue whatever legal action possible against the prosecutor.

 

[RezClone]

No one has mentioned this yet and I have no idea of your ability to do this, Is it possible for a parent or other trusted person to take your child to/from school so he's not on the same bus?

(Edit: clone52 beat me to it)

I'm a bit concerned that if this bully is still riding the same bus (and finds out you're pursuing anything legal)... is he likely to act up again?

It might come to this. It is a problem for us tho. My wife is the nutrition coordinator and cooks all the meals and prepares all the snacks. She's also 2nd in command at the daycare, so its pretty important that she is there at dropoff and pick up times. It's a "city affiliated" daycare so it's pretty big.

This kid happens to ride the very same bus that is dedicated to those daycare kids that are school age because he lives a block or 2 away. I will definitely be talking to the school about getting this situation changed, even if I have to go to the board and make a big deal out of it.

I work in Ag so I'm not even around town during school hours. I'm based 30 miles away and I'm also all over the place with my hours and location on a given day during school hours. (Go Cyclones )

 

[WooBadger18]

Also, @RezClone, if you aren’t seeing a therapist, it may be a good idea to do so (or do so after this is all “resolved”).

Obviously your attorney or another attorney you speak to will give better advice, but it’s possible you won’t get a satisfactory resolution to this. The kid who did this may not face any punishment (and even if he does you may not hear about it or it might be insufficient). And it’s also possible you won’t be able to sue or will decide it’s best not to sue for whatever reason. I’m not saying all of that will happen, but it’s possible. And if that’s the case, it might be best to work through it with someone. I know I’d be having a real problem if that was the outcome.

 

[aauummm]

Yeah it's iowa. It's a small town so everyone knows everyone. We will likely never see a dime from the family. A kid at the grocery store pulled me aside and offered his 2 cents on the family, as he is classmates with the kid (like i said, small town)

he told me that he's not shocked at what this kid did to my son. He told me they fled from Missouri because of a similar issue (trying to escape accountibilty for wrongdoing. And from California to Missouri before that.) He's a well known Juvenile Delinquent and the family is as sketchy and shady as they come. Which is what really adds a level of frustration.

I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, but my wife and I are fairly well respected citizens and active in the community. There's no way to say that without sounding like a conceited douche. I say it only to add context.

The 16 yr old might be the victim of abuse at home and could be acting out anger on others. If this is the case, I'm wondering if the State or County Social Services shouldn't be looking into the family situation. Social Services has a lot of power when it comes to looking into the welfare of a child.

California to Missouri to small town Iowa: this family is running from or hiding something pretty substantial.

 

[FriendlySpartan]

No one has mentioned this yet and I have no idea of your ability to do this, Is it possible for a parent or other trusted person to take your child to/from school so he's not on the same bus?

(Edit: clone52 beat me to it)

Don’t do this please. Work to get the assaulted removed (sounds like after the most recent event they might be) but don’t take your kid off the bus. Again it sounds like they have no hang ups about the incident, if they like riding the bus or being around other kids taking that away is not only a punishment but also possibly reopening a wound and making your son second guess what he is feeling.

If the assaulter is continued to be allowed to ride the bus and you file some kind of suit, go for it but don’t take them off for no reason when your son is reportedly fine.

 

[wxman1]

The bus driver is also busy driving the bus, so its not like they would see everything that is going on. I'd assume no charges were filed because they didn't think they could win the case in court. The limited testimony from the bus driver, plus a plausible lie that the older kid told might be enough reasonable doubt that the they couldn't get a conviction. Would you want your 8 year old son to have to testify in court? Would the other parents of kids want their kids to testify in court?

I don't know what I would do. I definitely wouldn't sue the bus driver, unless I really felt that the bus driver was negligent or lying completely. I might sue the school, but I'd feel a little bad there knowing that our public schools (at least in Iowa) are underfunded. But not having a working camera on the bus is a problem. Honestly, if the medical bills were causing a hardship on my family, I might go the route of suing the school. If it wasn't a huge financial burden for my family, I probably wouldn't sue but I'd probably start to raise a stink about things at school board meetings and meetings with the school admins until I saw a change.

Someone brought up the media side of it and that might not be a bad idea. Even just to shed light on the issue like that, it might prompt other schools to ensure their cameras were working or provide more supervision on busses and prevent issues like that in the future.

Does your school have another adult ride the bus? That'd probably be a good policy, although being underfunded, I don't know how schools would hire people for that. Same with bus drivers, some larger schools have had to shift school start times for different ages because they don't have enough bus drivers and their drivers have to drive 2 separate routes.

If it were my kid and if the 16 year old still rode the bus, I'd be taking my kid to school directly, though. Luckily we'd have the flexibility to do that, but thats not true for everyone.

Bingo this is exactly why there are bus monitors. The driver is responsible for safely driving the bus. That's it. Having them divert their attention to a fight etc. puts everyone at risk.

 

[zumbro clones]

It's amazing what an insurance company can do to collect $ and find blame when they have to pay out. Maybe they can help you out.

 

[cytor]

Yeah it's iowa. It's a small town so everyone knows everyone. We will likely never see a dime from the family. A kid at the grocery store pulled me aside and offered his 2 cents on the family, as he is classmates with the kid (like i said, small town)

he told me that he's not shocked at what this kid did to my son. He told me they fled from Missouri because of a similar issue (trying to escape accountibilty for wrongdoing. And from California to Missouri before that.) He's a well known Juvenile Delinquent and the family is as sketchy and shady as they come. Which is what really adds a level of frustration.

I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, but my wife and I are fairly well respected citizens and active in the community. There's no way to say that without sounding like a conceited douche. I say it only to add context.

Unless this 16 year old gets some help fast, he will eventually end up in prison for a long time once he's an adult. Hopefully he does no further damage to anyone.

 

[isufbcurt]

I want to keep the initial post as short as possible. Follow up questions are welcome and appreciated. I need help.

Back in April, our 8 year old son walked into the daycare with a clearly visibly broken arm. The other daycare kids rushed in to tell the employees (My wife being one) that a 16 year old kid intentionally broke our son's arm. (Not only did several kids of all ages claim to witness it, the kid even bragged to another one of the teenagers on the bus.)

We got the police involved, and it was investigated over the course of several weeks. We were assured by the officer that although the other family was trying to stall and shift blame, and that when the kid finally spoke with them he was trying to lie and say my son was on top of him wrestling him in a harassing manner and my sons arm was broken accidently on his own by falling back somehow, everything seemed pretty cut and dry, and the kid would likely be expelled, kicked off the bus, and juvenile court would handle it criminally.

Fast forward to yesterday (Aug 12) my lawyer informs me that not only did the CA decline to charge due to lack of evidence, but the school insurance was unsure if they even needed to grant the claim because the statement given to the police by the bus driver was different than what she had initially given to my wife at the scene of the accident and the statement she gave insurance company themselves.

Why don't we check the bus footage? Well because the camera was down. But don't worry, the school fixed it after the incident so that won't be a problem. The kid still gets to ride the bus because that's his right and they can't take that away from him. Oh and he assaulted another kid at school after his 15 day suspension they gave him for hurting our son, and he is going to be prosecuted for that one.

Honestly, just go break the 16 year olds arm. Inconspicuously of course and make sure your wife will back up your alibi.

 

[FriendlySpartan]

Honestly, just got break the 16 year olds arm. Inconspicuously of course and make sure your wife will back up your alibi.

I know you’re joking but still just a moronic comment

 

[Gunnerclone]

If you’ve got the money time to lawyer up. Sorry about your kids broken arm.

 

[CoachHines3]

much easier said than done but i wouldn't be putting my kid in that kids same zip code. id find alternate ways to get him to where he needs to be without the bus.

if that kid is 16 and is a problem child, he won't be on the bus much longer, let alone in school.

 

[benman82]

Sadly, it's probably best for your family to just do your best to move on.

Don't try to negotiate anything with the school, let your lawyer do all the talking, and get second opinions on what can be done. If you do move forward with lawsuits then expect nothing to be resolved for several years, accept that you'll likely lose money in the end, and will never get anything approaching justice or restitution.

If you get a chance to quickly settle out of court then take it.

 

[3TrueFans]

I know you’re joking

I don't.