8 year-old assaulted on bus. Advice plz.

[cowgirl836]

this was from the end of the last school year. Presumably the kid has been expelled after the second incident but I know some school districts really don't believe in expelling anyone.

What is the reason the high school kids are riding the same bus as elementary kids? That just seems like a really bad idea but maybe I'm not considering everything. It's been awhile since I was bus riding age but even in a rural district made up of several towns, there were never situations where I was on the bus with someone potentially 10 years older than me.

It's been a minute, but our rural district growing up only ran one bus for all grades. It was part of why my parents pivoted to homeschooling. High school kids moving up to the middle/front seats and picking on the younger kids. Remember being in 2nd/3rd grade and teens slamming my head into the windows. Bus driver would yell at them and that was about it.

 

[RezClone]

Have to believe there will be. The school year is barely off the groud and this kid has a body count of 2.

Added up they probably don't weigh as much as the bully.

Ya assaults happened back in April. My son's was on the bus. the subsequent assault on the girl, who is closer to the perp's age, occured at the actual school.

For those curious about that one, allegedly he shoved her over some type of railing and she sustained some type of serious head injury. I don't know the extent to which he is being punished for the 2nd assault or the specifics, like a judicial timeline. Only that he is being charged for that one. The school and the police don't really say much due to juvenile offenses being afforded more privacy. But it's a small town. Everyone knows about both incidents.

 

[cowgirl836]

It might come to this. It is a problem for us tho. My wife is the nutrition coordinator and cooks all the meals and prepares all the snacks. She's also 2nd in command at the daycare, so its pretty important that she is there at dropoff and pick up times. It's a "city affiliated" daycare so it's pretty big.

This kid happens to ride the very same bus that is dedicated to those daycare kids that are school age because he lives a block or 2 away. I will definitely be talking to the school about getting this situation changed, even if I have to go to the board and make a big deal out of it.

I work in Ag so I'm not even around town during school hours. I'm based 30 miles away and I'm also all over the place with my hours and location on a given day during school hours. (Go Cyclones )

from the daycare or his school?

Don't be afraid to contact someone on the board and chat through it. They may not be aware to the level they should be. If there are some obvious solutions like a different (more age appropriate) bus, bringing in additional services for this kid etc., that the school doesn't seem to be pursuing for a repeat offender, the Board will want to know. Or if they have and haven't much cared........if respected community members start voicing concerns, they'll care.

 

[nhclone]

Imagining one of my kids in that type of situation...I honestly don't know if I would be able to keep myself from doing something stupid. Kudos to you for keeping a level head and going about this the right way.

You should absolutely continue exploring your options to get this made right in the judicial system, but also take some solace in the fact that your son likely will be more impacted by his parents having his back 1000% than he will by whatever the eventual outcome of the rest of this is.

 

[ScottyP]

Ya assaults happened back in April. My son's was on the bus. the subsequent assault on the girl, who is closer to the perp's age, occured at the actual school.

For those curious about that one, allegedly he shoved her over some type of railing and she sustained some type of serious head injury. I don't know the extent to which he is being punished for the 2nd assault or the specifics, like a judicial timeline. Only that he is being charged for that one. The school and the police don't really say much due to juvenile offenses being afforded more privacy. But it's a small town. Everyone knows about both incidents.

Is the kid still riding the same bus as your son this fall?

 

[RezClone]

from the daycare or his school?

Don't be afraid to contact someone on the board and chat through it. They may not be aware to the level they should be. If there are some obvious solutions like a different (more age appropriate) bus, bringing in additional services for this kid etc., that the school doesn't seem to be pursuing for a repeat offender, the Board will want to know. Or if they have and haven't much cared........if respected community members start voicing concerns, they'll care.

I will. I know two of the board members very well and I'm sure they are mostly in the dark about the details, other than town rumor of course. And yes the violent kid in question lives near the daycare. The school is about 2 miles away from both the daycare and his home.

 

[RezClone]

Is the kid still riding the same bus as your son this fall?

I don't know yet, my wife talked to the school Superintendent yesterday. It sounds like it's possible he is based on what she told me. School starts the 23rd.

PS she's talking to everyone again today too but she prefers to wait until after work to discuss big stuff. I will update as I learn new information. Discussions with the school and police did not sound good at all yesterday tho... which is why I posted this thread today in case it continues that way.


Edit: I want to get my ducks in a row and my head sorted out before I really going in with the related parties. My wife has mostly been the one dealing with the school and the police directly. She's no pushover and generally disagreeable in a very useful and postive way when it comes to stuff like this. But it's obvious she's getting the runaround and I need to come in and get things moving in the most impactful and efficient way possible with maybe a little more tact and focus. We make a good team. This thread is really helping a lot, and I appreciate everyone's opinions and feedback more than you will ever know.

 

[BCClone]

Ya assaults happened back in April. My son's was on the bus. the subsequent assault on the girl, who is closer to the perp's age, occured at the actual school.

For those curious about that one, allegedly he shoved her over some type of railing and she sustained some type of serious head injury. I don't know the extent to which he is being punished for the 2nd assault or the specifics, like a judicial timeline. Only that he is being charged for that one. The school and the police don't really say much due to juvenile offenses being afforded more privacy. But it's a small town. Everyone knows about both incidents.

Go to the super or principal with the parents of the other two. Tell them you want the kid expelled or your attorneys will be handling it from here on out. For you, that is about the furthest you are probably going to be able to take it. Your kid seems to be ok so just work to keep him the safest you can from here on out.

 

[ScottyP]

I don't know yet, my wife talked to the school Superintendent yesterday. It sounds like it's possible he is based on what she told me. School starts the 23rd.

PS she's talking to everyone again today too but she prefers to wait until after work to discuss big stuff. I will update as I learn new information.

Your son is one tough and resilient guy. Like someone else mentioned, you might want to to get some therapy for yourself too and figure out some help in managing things.

 

[ISUTex]

I want to keep the initial post as short as possible. Follow up questions are welcome and appreciated. I need help.

Back in April, our 8 year old son walked into the daycare with a clearly visibly broken arm. The other daycare kids rushed in to tell the employees (My wife being one) that a 16 year old kid intentionally broke our son's arm. (Not only did several kids of all ages claim to witness it, the kid even bragged to another one of the teenagers on the bus.)

We got the police involved, and it was investigated over the course of several weeks. We were assured by the officer that although the other family was trying to stall and shift blame, and that when the kid finally spoke with them he was trying to lie and say my son was on top of him wrestling him in a harassing manner and my sons arm was broken accidently on his own by falling back somehow, everything seemed pretty cut and dry, and the kid would likely be expelled, kicked off the bus, and juvenile court would handle it criminally.

Fast forward to yesterday (Aug 12) my lawyer informs me that not only did the CA decline to charge due to lack of evidence, but the school insurance was unsure if they even needed to grant the claim because the statement given to the police by the bus driver was different than what she had initially given to my wife at the scene of the accident and the statement she gave insurance company themselves.

Why don't we check the bus footage? Well because the camera was down. But don't worry, the school fixed it after the incident so that won't be a problem. The kid still gets to ride the bus because that's his right and they can't take that away from him. Oh and he assaulted another kid at school after his 15 day suspension they gave him for hurting our son, and he is going to be prosecuted for that one.

Beat the **** out of the 16 yr old kid's dad.

 

[ScottyP]

I don't know yet, my wife talked to the school Superintendent yesterday. It sounds like it's possible he is based on what she told me. School starts the 23rd.

PS she's talking to everyone again today too but she prefers to wait until after work to discuss big stuff. I will update as I learn new information. Discussions with the school and police did not sound good at all yesterday tho... which is why I posted this thread today in case it continues that way.

With the 16-year-olds behavior, I’m worried he might try to go after your some as some form of retaliation. Maybe that isn’t much of a risk of happening, though.

 

[RezClone]

Your son is one tough and resilient guy. Like someone else mentioned, you might want to to get some therapy for yourself too and figure out some help in managing things.

Yes, a word about the little guy. Baseball is pretty big to both of us. It was so heartbreaking to see his spring preparation/season taken away from him.

Well, he made a full recovery in about 7 weeks, at least physically. I'm proud to say he came back stronger than before. He had a great year. He also tried out and made the cut for not one, but TWO travel teams for next season. He plays short stop and he pitches.

 

[FriendlySpartan]

Beat the **** out of the 16 yr old kid's dad.

Super smart from an internet tough guy, nothing better to help an 8 year old son then to have his dad get a criminal record and spend some time in jail. Just brilliant analysis here

 

[VeloClone]

In our district there are separate busses for ages at some schools but at others some kids have to take a bus to the high school or middle school and then continue on to their elementary. My daughter took a bus in elementary with high schoolers. Luckily there were high schoolers who very clearly looked out for the little ones. In addition there was a strict policy of elementary sitting only in the front few seats with no high schoolers allowed.

Back in the stone age when I took a stagecoach to school, I had to ride with all ages on our rural bus route to get home. No cameras, so you better watch your mouth...

EDIT: to be clear I am not at all suggesting that little @RezClone said or did anything - just how we had to look at our behavior riding that bus.

 

[LivntheCyLife]

We went that route immediately. He is a good attorney, maybe not the most prompt in dealing with us I'd say. But I can't say he's doing a bad job either, at least so far. He is doing this on contingency, so everything is on his own dime right now. I can't afford a retainer for something like this right now.

So I'm trying to balance my instinct to protect my son with an understanding that the wheels of justice move slowly in a situation like this. It's very emotionally taxing and stressful to say the least.

You've already done what you need to do legally to hold the other accountable to protect your son. Hopefully things can be done to physically protect him on the bus and at school.

As hard as it is, I think it's really important for you and your son to not feel like the legal outcome is important for feeling like you did your duty as a parent. Every legal situation I've been involved has felt unsatisfying even in cases where my side might have been viewed as "winning." Hopefully you get justice, but your son and your emotional and physical well-being have to be the top priority.

 

[pourcyne]

How does a kid get on the bus with his arm visibly intact and off the bus with his arm visibly broken? Seems to me the bus driver is liable for neglect. In other words, as many others here have pointed out, there may be a clear case for a civil suit if you want to pursue it. Also, make sure everyone knows that the county attorney refused to prosecute with the result of another child being assaulted. Handy info when s/he comes up for re-election.

 

[VeloClone]

How does a kid get on the bus with his arm visibly intact and off the bus with his arm visibly broken? Seems to me the bus driver is liable for neglect. In other words, as many others here have pointed out, there may be a clear case for a civil suit if you want to pursue it. Also, make sure everyone knows that the county attorney refused to prosecute with the result of another child being assaulted. Handy info when s/he comes up for re-election.

I get what you are saying, but there is only so much a bus driver can do. Their first priority is keeping the children safe traffic-wise. They also have to maintain a sense of order on the bus but that has to be a secondary concern and will be pretty much impossible with a serial abuser student on your route.

 

[Chitowncy]

I want to keep the initial post as short as possible. Follow up questions are welcome and appreciated. I need help.

Back in April, our 8 year old son walked into the daycare with a clearly visibly broken arm. The other daycare kids rushed in to tell the employees (My wife being one) that a 16 year old kid intentionally broke our son's arm. (Not only did several kids of all ages claim to witness it, the kid even bragged to another one of the teenagers on the bus.)

We got the police involved, and it was investigated over the course of several weeks. We were assured by the officer that although the other family was trying to stall and shift blame, and that when the kid finally spoke with them he was trying to lie and say my son was on top of him wrestling him in a harassing manner and my sons arm was broken accidently on his own by falling back somehow, everything seemed pretty cut and dry, and the kid would likely be expelled, kicked off the bus, and juvenile court would handle it criminally.

Fast forward to yesterday (Aug 12) my lawyer informs me that not only did the CA decline to charge due to lack of evidence, but the school insurance was unsure if they even needed to grant the claim because the statement given to the police by the bus driver was different than what she had initially given to my wife at the scene of the accident and the statement she gave insurance company themselves.

Why don't we check the bus footage? Well because the camera was down. But don't worry, the school fixed it after the incident so that won't be a problem. The kid still gets to ride the bus because that's his right and they can't take that away from him. Oh and he assaulted another kid at school after his 15 day suspension they gave him for hurting our son, and he is going to be prosecuted for that one.

I would be furious and saddened by these events. I feel for your son.

This sounds like it's a "credibility battle" in court as to whom to believe. Keep in mind the County Attorney is thinking about proving its case against the 16 year old. The state has the burden beyond a reasonable doubt in criminal cases to prove the criminal offense was committed by the defendant. Thus, the CA gives you a baseline to compare your story and view of the events to the opposing side's; the CA obviously believes (I suspect) it's too close a call to bring charges against this 16 y/o boy. The initial statement by the bus driver is important. Was he or she recorded or put on record at that time? Other witnesses overheard the bus driver's statement beside your wife? Non-interested parties are generally more believable.

Regardless, I would feel very frustrated if I was in your shoes and I'm sorry to hear about your son. I would consider legal action strongly against the child's parents, the bus company, and whomever hired the bus company (could be school or daycare, can't precisely tell based on my reading of your fact pattern). You may even have to threaten legal action - or begin it - just to have a right to evidence and to open the discovery process / get tools at your disposal, such as the power to subpoena records. Edit: also, keep in mind that the burden on you as the moving party in a civil lawsuit is a lower burden than that imposed upon the state. You probably have to prove your case against the bus company, or child / child's parents, or school / daycare provider "by a preponderance of the evidence". This is an easier standard to prove than the burden of proof the CA has to reach. The person who suggested going after the CA I think is a little misguided there based on just the facts you've relayed. There's no proof the CA isn't just doing his or her job and just doesn't think there's enough of a criminal case against the boy given conflicting testimony from witnesses. Strategically, you wouldn't also want to make this personal against the CA at this juncture or "go after" him or her. He or she may ultimately bring criminal charges yet if new evidence comes to light. I would listen to your attorney though after a careful review of all the facts with him or her.

Also, in general stay off posting on social media as your posts (like calling it an "accident" above) could only be used against you. Same with things you tell other third parties. The other side will simply cherry-pick the comments or posts you've made that cast doubt onto the truth. Hire a lawyer and consult about your options and pursuing civil remedies / more fact-finding. It stinks because it will be expensive though.

What a frustrating situation.

 

[Tre4ISU]

If your lawyer won't press this issue, find another one. I would have the lawyer drafting letters to everyone involved (bully, bus driver, school, etc) letting them know that there will be civil action taken if this isn't cleared up. Especially the school will not want that at all and may be forced to act.

If none of that works, you go to the press. Stay off Facebook or any other social media at least until every other option has been exhausted.

 

[Tre4ISU]

I get what you are saying, but there is only so much a bus driver can do. Their first priority is keeping the children safe traffic-wise. They also have to maintain a sense of order on the bus but that has to be a secondary concern and will be pretty much impossible with a serial abuser student on your route.

Oh, I had a couple bus drivers that managed to do all of that. You didn't dare step out of line with those two guys.

This is another case of people (in this case a kid) in society being to comfortable thinking they can do whatever they want without consequence. Maybe you get word of this situation to some upstanding high school kids.