There's a whole bunch of us around that care about you and don't think you are a burden. We all feel like you are watching out for us and helping us and we all enjoy your humor and thoughtfulness.
Why is life worth living?
- Thread starter Jer
- Start date
Rulzzz you are loved by so many people than you can imagine don’t give up my friend don’t ever give up
As many have said and offered I’m always here to chat. If you aren’t talking to someone currently about how you are feeling please reach out to someone, even if they aren’t a professional if their is someone in your life that you feel like you can be open with please let them know. Trust me when I say you aren’t burdening anyone when talking about these issues.
If money is a concern to seeking help please call 2-1-1 and let them know how you are feeling and the type of help you are looking for. It’s 100% confidential and protected and they will be able to guide you to services that can help at zero to minimal cost
Thanks to all who reached out here or by pm. Luckily while mentally I'm ready to check out my body won't follow through.
Doing a little better now. Had a back xray done and nothing bad was found. Along with xray I'm beginning physical therapy. Had my first appointment today.
Problem was I was having issues while working and OC provided me opportunities to sit when I needed it that other places wouldn't.
Since the job loss when not going out for interviews and other tasks I sunk into a depressive state where majority of the day is sitting or laying down and that's a bad recipe when your back was bad to begin with.
The other thing is while I qualify I haven't done unemployment. At first it was because I was like how hard could it be to find work especially with 19 years at my last employer. Turns out that doesn't mean what I thought it would.
Then I was set to apply when I discovered this back issue and point of unemployment is you have to be able to work. Hard to do when you can't stand for long periods and I'm not qualified for office jobs where sitting can be an option.
Doing a little better now. Had a back xray done and nothing bad was found. Along with xray I'm beginning physical therapy. Had my first appointment today.
Problem was I was having issues while working and OC provided me opportunities to sit when I needed it that other places wouldn't.
Since the job loss when not going out for interviews and other tasks I sunk into a depressive state where majority of the day is sitting or laying down and that's a bad recipe when your back was bad to begin with.
The other thing is while I qualify I haven't done unemployment. At first it was because I was like how hard could it be to find work especially with 19 years at my last employer. Turns out that doesn't mean what I thought it would.
Then I was set to apply when I discovered this back issue and point of unemployment is you have to be able to work. Hard to do when you can't stand for long periods and I'm not qualified for office jobs where sitting can be an option.
Good to hear things are slowly getting better and so sorry to hear about the issues. Your footprint here and gameday threads are .000001% of who you are, but that small sliver impacts a lot of people and makes our lives better with you in it. Now just imagine the impact the other 99.99999% of you has on the world!
I am not a mental health expert. However, I do everything in my power to make sure my mental health is on point. I went trough a rough patch 8 years ago when going through a divorce. I started investigating how to help myself. I now take a regiment of 5-HTP, L-Theanine, and I take microdose gummies. All which are available online. You might have to play around with the doses and I would start by taking 5-htp to see if that helps your cases with mental health. However, I would recommend all three. I have no issues at all mentally. I spend about 80 dollars a month for all three products. I would try maybe that course. I know some of you have mental health therapists. I never had to go that route. Even if you don't have any issues, it's not a bad course to try. All legal and available online or two of them you can get at Walgreens. Mushrooms you will probably have to get online.
My brother-in-law has had major medical issues and has worked with social services referred by his doctor to provide help with job services and mobility assistance (cane/walker/etc.) mostly free of charge or at major discounts. At my job, the employer provides specialized desks and other tools as needed. There are also work at home jobs that can provide training for specialty careers that allow for physical "flexibility" although most of them are entry level positions. Hopefully, this is a ray of hope for a new career path that may work out.
https://freedomcare.com/work-from-home-jobs-for-disabled/
https://freedomcare.com/work-from-home-jobs-for-disabled/
I'll try to keep this brief because it's not in the cave. As part of changing my mindset I went to mass last night.
We have a new priest last name is Richmond who teaches English at ISU as well who I have heard good things about.
Also there would be a couple there who is dear to me as I sat with them at Nevada bball games watching their daughter who got a scholarship to illnois state.
It was unreal timing as when he gave a homily it was like him and me were only 2 there because it described my situation to a tee.
Because it was a small crowd being a weekday I was visiting with the couple who was there because it had been awhile since I had seen them.
During this father Richmond came up and we got introduced. He got informed of my situation and put a hand above me and said a blessing.
I got emotional again during this but in a good way. I truly felt something in that moment that I can't quite describe.
Again sorry for the cave-ish nature of this but had to share.
We have a new priest last name is Richmond who teaches English at ISU as well who I have heard good things about.
Also there would be a couple there who is dear to me as I sat with them at Nevada bball games watching their daughter who got a scholarship to illnois state.
It was unreal timing as when he gave a homily it was like him and me were only 2 there because it described my situation to a tee.
Because it was a small crowd being a weekday I was visiting with the couple who was there because it had been awhile since I had seen them.
During this father Richmond came up and we got introduced. He got informed of my situation and put a hand above me and said a blessing.
I got emotional again during this but in a good way. I truly felt something in that moment that I can't quite describe.
Again sorry for the cave-ish nature of this but had to share.
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No apologies necessary. Glad you're embracing your community!!
You should sign up for unemployment today. This is a benefit you and your former employeer paid for.
It was meant for you.
My 2024 was a whirlwind. Between losing everything I’d worked for, going to jail, being homeless for several months, filing divorce and many other things.
My 2023, though more private, was significantly worse.
In time, God pulled me out. Have patience. He called to you in that homily. He will lead you.
You don't have to be able to work all jobs. I'd apply today. It's not like your former employers can dispute it.
Rulzzz, you're a great person. You are incredibly selfless and caring to all. Keep fighting, man. Things will get better for you soon, I'm sure of it.
I would like to applaud Jer and Rulzzz and everyone else who have been so forthcoming here. It is incredibly courageous to be able to talk openly about your struggles. Being so open is not only great for you, but you are also helping others who may be struggling with their own situations. We all want you and others to find happiness, and it sounds like you are on the right path, Rulzzz. Congrats and THANK YOU
My Neurologist is retiring from UnityPoint July 1 and there won't be a replacement. It means I'll have to not only switch providers, but also to Mercy One.
I'm on STD until the end of July when I switch to LTD. In July is when they plan on doing the LTD claim process and review. I will have lost my current Neurologist and practice by then AND possibly won't have had a chance to get in with my new one yet. Leaving a big gap in the LTD claim and Dr attestations, etc. I'm guessing a new Dr isn't going to approve or sign off on anything until they've seen me. And my then former Neurologist won't be there to attest or process anything.
My single biggest fear in life, and I think about it literally every day, is not being able to provide for my family - especially financially. With PD I lost the ability to provide physically or with safety and security.
In my 25 years with my wife and then with kids, every day I've been driven the hardest by the financial obligation and burden because I want the absolute best for them.
I dropped out of high school as a sophomore. I got my GED. I didn't go to college. I had a minor misdemeanor on my record for stupidly trying to be liked/cool and took something from a store the week I turned 18.
I needed to move up the ladder very quickly to get to good salaries. Well, with the above "baggage", that also meant I needed to work twice as hard to be the best of the best at what I do so I could have fast trajectory, but most critically, job security. Trying to get a job somewhere with that baggage sucks, even with accolades, tons of experience, and glowing references from Fortune 100 C Suite leaders. HR doesn't pass through resumes with those flags, you have to earn it very hard the other way.
I have no self esteem or confidence or think well of myself and never have. Add in the financial obligation and you get somebody that wakes up every single morning scared shitless he's going to lose his job and not be able to provide, along with all the other mental ****.
We are paycheck to paycheck with all debt and no savings to this day. So when we decided we had to go down the disability path, my daily deep panic was about our LTD getting approved. If not, I was absolutely useless and we as a family were ******. We are clearly eligible for LTD and any Dr would attest to that, but LTD claim examiners can be ruthless. But my panic subsided over the past month with the comfort that we are clearly way more than ready for LTD so there wasn't anything to worry about. Maybe the first time in my life I've calmed down a fear.
And then the worst possible scenario. My Dr and his nurses apts go through June, but then they're no longer in place, even elsewhere in UnityPoint. My records would reflect everything supporting LTD, but I know Insurance way too well if there isn't a Dr on point. My new Dr may not have seen me. So there is no advocate.
Can't think of a single bigger worst case scenario for me mentally.
I'm on STD until the end of July when I switch to LTD. In July is when they plan on doing the LTD claim process and review. I will have lost my current Neurologist and practice by then AND possibly won't have had a chance to get in with my new one yet. Leaving a big gap in the LTD claim and Dr attestations, etc. I'm guessing a new Dr isn't going to approve or sign off on anything until they've seen me. And my then former Neurologist won't be there to attest or process anything.
My single biggest fear in life, and I think about it literally every day, is not being able to provide for my family - especially financially. With PD I lost the ability to provide physically or with safety and security.
In my 25 years with my wife and then with kids, every day I've been driven the hardest by the financial obligation and burden because I want the absolute best for them.
I dropped out of high school as a sophomore. I got my GED. I didn't go to college. I had a minor misdemeanor on my record for stupidly trying to be liked/cool and took something from a store the week I turned 18.
I needed to move up the ladder very quickly to get to good salaries. Well, with the above "baggage", that also meant I needed to work twice as hard to be the best of the best at what I do so I could have fast trajectory, but most critically, job security. Trying to get a job somewhere with that baggage sucks, even with accolades, tons of experience, and glowing references from Fortune 100 C Suite leaders. HR doesn't pass through resumes with those flags, you have to earn it very hard the other way.
I have no self esteem or confidence or think well of myself and never have. Add in the financial obligation and you get somebody that wakes up every single morning scared shitless he's going to lose his job and not be able to provide, along with all the other mental ****.
We are paycheck to paycheck with all debt and no savings to this day. So when we decided we had to go down the disability path, my daily deep panic was about our LTD getting approved. If not, I was absolutely useless and we as a family were ******. We are clearly eligible for LTD and any Dr would attest to that, but LTD claim examiners can be ruthless. But my panic subsided over the past month with the comfort that we are clearly way more than ready for LTD so there wasn't anything to worry about. Maybe the first time in my life I've calmed down a fear.
And then the worst possible scenario. My Dr and his nurses apts go through June, but then they're no longer in place, even elsewhere in UnityPoint. My records would reflect everything supporting LTD, but I know Insurance way too well if there isn't a Dr on point. My new Dr may not have seen me. So there is no advocate.
Can't think of a single bigger worst case scenario for me mentally.
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FYI I am very high right now due to taking for pain, so not sure if above was anything other than random letters.
@Jer
As someone who has dabbled in this space, my advice to you in this situation is as follows:
Option #1 - Get your current neurologist to fill out / submit your LTD paperwork ahead of their retirement sometime in mid to late June.
I don’t know your relationship with your doctor, but if it is solid, I am sure they would be able to do you a solid and help you out given the circumstances.
Option #2 - If #1 isn’t an option, find out from your neurologist who will be handling your case after 7/1 and see if you can start seeing them so they are familiar with your case and there is some continuity and they can fill out the paperwork for you ahead of the date.
From experience, LTD paperwork isn’t super involved (in most cases similar to STD paperwork), however the scrutiny and path to approval is higher / longer. The sooner you can get the paperwork together and submitted, the better.
I can’t imagine the level of anxiety this is creating for you. My words of advice is to put the same level of attitude and effort you mentioned about your work in your earlier post and things will move in the direction you want them to move.
“Once you have exhausted all possible avenues, then we can get to work.”
You have a great support group here to help in any way we can. Keep us posted and let us know how we can continue to assist you.
As someone who has dabbled in this space, my advice to you in this situation is as follows:
Option #1 - Get your current neurologist to fill out / submit your LTD paperwork ahead of their retirement sometime in mid to late June.
I don’t know your relationship with your doctor, but if it is solid, I am sure they would be able to do you a solid and help you out given the circumstances.
Option #2 - If #1 isn’t an option, find out from your neurologist who will be handling your case after 7/1 and see if you can start seeing them so they are familiar with your case and there is some continuity and they can fill out the paperwork for you ahead of the date.
From experience, LTD paperwork isn’t super involved (in most cases similar to STD paperwork), however the scrutiny and path to approval is higher / longer. The sooner you can get the paperwork together and submitted, the better.
I can’t imagine the level of anxiety this is creating for you. My words of advice is to put the same level of attitude and effort you mentioned about your work in your earlier post and things will move in the direction you want them to move.
“Once you have exhausted all possible avenues, then we can get to work.”
You have a great support group here to help in any way we can. Keep us posted and let us know how we can continue to assist you.
Thank you, amazing! Unfortunately, my current doctor is an incompetent, lazy ass MF so won't do anything other than necessary. Long-term it's going to be incredibly beneficial to be with a new Dr. Unfortunately, UnityPoint doesn't have anybody to take on the cases, or even support existing claims, so they don't have a Plan B for me.
I'm working on the second option. I called UnityPoint and pulled a "Jeren" and asked to speak to the practice manager. I broke down and shared my concerns and asked for an immediate referral to a specific dr at Mercy One that seems perfect for my issues. She was kind enough to get that out the door last night. This AM I reached out to Mercy One and was desperate to get an appointment ASAP. That way not only could I possibly get seen once, but I may be able to get them to allow 2 apts so we have more rapport and history.
Just hit like a skyscraper landing on my head. My whole career has been in Insurance so I know the good, bad, and evil.
