Bad parenting?

[Sousaclone]

I’m curious if any of you free range kids ever had chores or if your kids do?

I did and my kids did. Husband’s weird family rotated which kid had to set the dinner table, like that was some major task, and they had six kids and this was the only chore.

My kids loved the riding mower but less enthused with shoveling snow. Made sure they could all cook, do laundry, and clean before they went to college. They also helped with the garden. Younger kids were on toy pickup duty.

Are chores now passe?

Yeah. We were suburbia, but all of us (4 kids total) had bathrooms to clean, dogs to walk, parts of the house to clean, lawn to mow, etc. We did also help with laundry (occasionally) and my mom was not shy about telling us to do stuff in the kitchen to help depending on our skill level. The kitchen thing still happens today and the youngest of us is 36! My younger brother and I will be home for the holidays and get given a cutting board, knife, and told to get to prepping food.

My nieces and nephews have similar chores, although they tend to get worked in around their after school activities since they are much more involved then we were as kids.

 

[ImJustKCClone]

Yeah. We were suburbia, but all of us (4 kids total) had bathrooms to clean, dogs to walk, parts of the house to clean, lawn to mow, etc. We did also help with laundry (occasionally) and my mom was not shy about telling us to do stuff in the kitchen to help depending on our skill level. The kitchen thing still happens today and the youngest of us is 36! My younger brother and I will be home for the holidays and get given a cutting board, knife, and told to get to prepping food.

My nieces and nephews have similar chores, although they tend to get worked in around their after school activities since they are much more involved then we were as kids.

I need much more help with that now that it comes to having grandkids in the mix. What I truly love now is that it was a massive effort to get them to wash dishes...and now, depending on who is here, I have 2 sons, one daughter and one DIL that swarm the kitchen and do the dishes down to drying them & putting them away. The only problem is that for the next week I can't find some of my utensils because they put them away in different spots. I'll take it, though!

 

[JP4CY]

I need much more help with that now that it comes to having grandkids in the mix. What I truly love now is that it was a massive effort to get them to wash dishes...and now, depending on who is here, I have 2 sons, one daughter and one DIL that swarm the kitchen and do the dishes down to drying them & putting them away. The only problem is that for the next week I can't find some of my utensils because they put them away in different spots. I'll take it, though!

My parents mostly retired/built their "last house" a few years ago.
I've stopped by about once a week to do some basic things. Drilled and attached cabinet knobs, hung photos, helped till a small garden.
I'll drop off good bread, extra smoked meat, etc.
If anyone out there is fortunate enough to have parents nearby like me, check in on them out of the blue. I can tell they're always excited to see me. Much more than when I was younger. Parents truly appreciate that.

 

[Cyghhh]

I’m curious if any of you free range kids ever had chores or if your kids do?

I did and my kids did. Husband’s weird family rotated which kid had to set the dinner table, like that was some major task, and they had six kids and this was the only chore.

My kids loved the riding mower but less enthused with shoveling snow. Made sure they could all cook, do laundry, and clean before they went to college. They also helped with the garden. Younger kids were on toy pickup duty.

Are chores now passe?

Not for us, we do chores as a family every week. The kids will get more and more responsibility as they get older.

 

[carvers4math]

I need much more help with that now that it comes to having grandkids in the mix. What I truly love now is that it was a massive effort to get them to wash dishes...and now, depending on who is here, I have 2 sons, one daughter and one DIL that swarm the kitchen and do the dishes down to drying them & putting them away. The only problem is that for the next week I can't find some of my utensils because they put them away in different spots. I'll take it, though!

I recently found my favorite paring knife that’s been MIA since Thanksgiving 2021.

 

[carvers4math]

Yeah. We were suburbia, but all of us (4 kids total) had bathrooms to clean, dogs to walk, parts of the house to clean, lawn to mow, etc. We did also help with laundry (occasionally) and my mom was not shy about telling us to do stuff in the kitchen to help depending on our skill level. The kitchen thing still happens today and the youngest of us is 36! My younger brother and I will be home for the holidays and get given a cutting board, knife, and told to get to prepping food.

My nieces and nephews have similar chores, although they tend to get worked in around their after school activities since they are much more involved then we were as kids.

My 88 year old MIL is still kicking. We were at her house for Thanksgiving 2019. She was out of commission after falling and breaking her arm.

Husband and siblings were arguing over crap so the two unfortunate schmucks that married his sisters and I spent a pleasant time alone in the kitchen cooking everything

 

[ImJustKCClone]

I recently found my favorite paring knife that’s been MIA since Thanksgiving 2021.

My favorite Pampered Chef meat tenderizer. It's been gone since before Covid. And you better believe I give him crap about it every time. It has become a game for us - he will "hide" at least one item in plain sight each time he's here.

 

[ricochet]

I had to feed the calves, water the cattle, check on the hogs, get the eggs when we had laying hens, then during planting i worked ground and hauled grain and did tillage at harvest time (flying solo in the field at age 10).

I drove a tractor baling hay when I was 6 and just out of kindergarten. I was no where near being able to use the pedals so my dad would put the tractor in gear and jump off. Dad would stack bales on the wagon and when it was full (or something happened) he would yell stop and I’d just turn the key off. Looking back it seems kind of crazy for somebody that young.

 

[ImJustKCClone]

My 88 year old MIL is still kicking. We were at her house for Thanksgiving 2019. She was out of commission after falling and breaking her arm.

Husband and siblings were arguing over crap so the two unfortunate schmucks that married his sisters and I spent a pleasant time alone in the kitchen cooking everything

Sounds like you guys had the best end of the deal!

My parents mostly retired/built their "last house" a few years ago.
I've stopped by about once a week to do some basic things. Drilled and attached cabinet knobs, hung photos, helped till a small garden.
I'll drop off good bread, extra smoked meat, etc.
If anyone out there is fortunate enough to have parents nearby like me, check in on them out of the blue. I can tell they're always excited to see me. Much more than when I was younger. Parents truly appreciate that.

Two years ago Lew had a stroke on the Saturday before Thanksgiving. He was in the hospital for four days. He felt fine; they were just struggling to figure out what caused it. He very much still wanted to have our family gathering on the Sat after Thanksgiving (our usual day to gather), and we were discussing pizza or having the dinner catered, but I had already bought the turkey and all of the necessary groceries. One daughter came to visit at the hospital and she took me out of his room and out to the family room, sat me down and said "Here's the deal - the kids are cooking this year". Turns out they had a text chain going, they had everything divvied up, and all they needed was a little help with recipes. She told me to "stay in my wheelhouse, and go out to the sunroom & play games with Lew & the grandkids. Like you said, sometimes older parents are REALLY grateful for the assist.

 

[JP4CY]

Sounds like you guys had the best end of the deal!

Two years ago Lew had a stroke on the Saturday before Thanksgiving. He was in the hospital for four days. He felt fine; they were just struggling to figure out what caused it. He very much still wanted to have our family gathering on the Sat after Thanksgiving (our usual day to gather), and we were discussing pizza or having the dinner catered, but I had already bought the turkey and all of the necessary groceries. One daughter came to visit at the hospital and she took me out of his room and out to the family room, sat me down and said "Here's the deal - the kids are cooking this year". Turns out they had a text chain going, they had everything divvied up, and all they needed was a little help with recipes. She told me to "stay in my wheelhouse, and go out to the sunroom & play games with Lew & the grandkids. Like you said, sometimes older parents are REALLY grateful for the assist.

I'd say 3-4 years ago our family stopped doing Thanksgiving meals. We do pickup from Smokey Ds on that Wednesday and reheat it on Thanksgiving. We'll make a lettuce salad or have a relish tray but other than that the Smokey Ds holiday package is a gigantic hit. Like, we aren't ever going back to cooking much.

 

[clonechemist]

I pretty much had the same experience growing up in small town Iowa,out riding bikes all summer exploring the neighborhood, hanging at the pool and friends houses with little supervision. But there’s a big difference between growing up in a small midwestern town and a big city with a lot more people and crime.

I suspect there’s not as much difference as you might think. I frequently saw pretty young kids riding the subway in NYC.

 

[ImJustKCClone]

I'd say 3-4 years ago our family stopped doing Thanksgiving meals. We do pickup from Smokey Ds on that Wednesday and reheat it on Thanksgiving. We'll make a lettuce salad or have a relish tray but other than that the Smokey Ds holiday package is a gigantic hit. Like, we aren't ever going back to cooking much.

I get turkey & cornbread/pecan dressing once a year. You're not taking that away from me!

 

[BCClone]

I'd say 3-4 years ago our family stopped doing Thanksgiving meals. We do pickup from Smokey Ds on that Wednesday and reheat it on Thanksgiving. We'll make a lettuce salad or have a relish tray but other than that the Smokey Ds holiday package is a gigantic hit. Like, we aren't ever going back to cooking much.

We try to buy a smoked turkey from a meat place. Last year my wife forgot to tell them to smoke it so she comes home Wednesday with a raw turkey. I had to break out the fryer the next day and make the turkey. I smoked a turkey breast one day and that was the best I’ve done.

The wife will make a couple sides and then my sister will bring a couple pies and anyone else will bring a salad and that’s it.

 

[baller21]

I suspect there’s not as much difference as you might think. I frequently saw pretty young kids riding the subway in NYC.

Seriously? I’m in downtown Des Moines almost every day and I never see young kids running around by themselves. I don’t think anyone is letting their children run around NYC without knowing exactly where they are and where they’re going.

 

[Bipolarcy]

I’m curious if any of you free range kids ever had chores or if your kids do?

I did and my kids did. Husband’s weird family rotated which kid had to set the dinner table, like that was some major task, and they had six kids and this was the only chore.

My kids loved the riding mower but less enthused with shoveling snow. Made sure they could all cook, do laundry, and clean before they went to college. They also helped with the garden. Younger kids were on toy pickup duty.

Are chores now passe?

We never had chores, so much. Not assigned ones anyway. But we would be asked to help with the dishes or vacuum or pick up stuff, garden, etc. I had two jobs before I was 14. They were both paper routes. One was the Des Moines Register, where I had about 25 customers and the other one was Grit, where I had about 10 customers. I lived in a really small town of 600 people or fewer at the time. The town I lived in for the original post in this thread was about 25,000, but it had a military base, which would have made the population probably double that, if not more.

 

[NWICY]

I’m curious if any of you free range kids ever had chores or if your kids do?

I did and my kids did. Husband’s weird family rotated which kid had to set the dinner table, like that was some major task, and they had six kids and this was the only chore.

My kids loved the riding mower but less enthused with shoveling snow. Made sure they could all cook, do laundry, and clean before they went to college. They also helped with the garden. Younger kids were on toy pickup duty.

Are chores now passe?

Similar to age in you but was free range, your darn right we had chores, calves when we were little then more responsibilities as we got older. One of my favorite pics is me on a Massey Ferguson 65 tractor with the 1st wagon of hay I pulled in and blew into the silo on my own.

 

[NWICY]

I drove a tractor baling hay when I was 6 and just out of kindergarten. I was no where near being able to use the pedals so my dad would put the tractor in gear and jump off. Dad would stack bales on the wagon and when it was full (or something happened) he would yell stop and I’d just turn the key off. Looking back it seems kind of crazy for somebody that young.

Nah, that's being a farm kid. We were sort of indentured servants, but we had fun and learned a lot.

 

[clonechemist]

Seriously? I’m in downtown Des Moines almost every day and I never see young kids running around by themselves. I don’t think anyone is letting their children run around NYC without knowing exactly where they are and where they’re going.

I’m not saying it’s the same as totally ‘roaming free’; but loads of kids use subways and buses by themselves to get to school in NYC. They obviously have freedom to wander a little bit on their way there and back. I don’t think downtown DSM is a fair comparison since there aren’t that many families living there (though I wouldn’t really know). In Manhattan alone there are hundreds of thousands of kids under 18 living there.

 

[Cyclonepride]

I think the parenting of the latest generations is a bit of an overreaction to the childhood experiences of the parents. Gen X and after were mostly latchkey kids, and while the freedom and early responsibility toughened us up, we also got into a hell of a lot of trouble. IMO, the answer is somewhere in between.

 

[Cydkar]

Yesterday I had a naked homeless man walk down my street in broad daylight.

I’m okay playing it a bit close with my 10 year old daughter.

Move to London.