Friday OT #1 - Alternate Slogans for Products

[Angie]

My husband and I were looking at Google Home the other day (LINK, in case you're not familiar with it). We were researching it, and I declared, "This is the lazy man's greatest way to solve a debate since IMDB."

I sorta wish that were their slogan, because I think that is a whole lot of how it will be used.

Do you have any other alternate slogans for popular products that get down to what it's actually used for, rather than what's advertised?

 

[theantiAIRBHG]

Haribo Sugar-free Gummy Bears - "In Case You Were Curious the Sound Your Colon Makes Splashing in the Toilet Water".

 

[mj4cy]

 

[isumellie]

Cheese grater = Sponge Ruiner

 

[madguy30]

'Chizik Coins: Get 'em while he's here'.

 

[Dandy]

My husband and I were looking at Google Home the other day (LINK, in case you're not familiar with it). We were researching it, and I declared, "This is the lazy man's greatest way to solve a debate since IMDB."

I sorta wish that were their slogan, because I think that is a whole lot of how it will be used.

Do you have any other alternate slogans for popular products that get down to what it's actually used for, rather than what's advertised?

Google Home. Amazon Echo. "One of us stole the idea."

 

[coolerifyoudid]

Q-tips: We made these to help you clean your ears, so please disregard the stupid warning our legal team made us put on the box about putting them in your ear canal.

 

[harimad]

This was an actual commercial for them, but I only ever saw it once, and can only assume that the outrage from people who witnessed it persuaded the company to discontinue the campaign. I'm guessing some marketers were fired as well.

Did anyone else ever see the "You bet your sweet Aspercreme" commercial a few years ago?

 

[Angie]

Ben & Jerry: So you got dumped.

 

[coolerifyoudid]

Mad Dog 20/20 : You prom date will love it.

 

[coolerifyoudid]

Trojan Magnums: The cute cashier doesn't believe you.

 

[coolerifyoudid]

Bowflex Treadclimber - Dries sweaters evenly

 

[theantiAIRBHG]

Hide-away sofas - WHY THE **** IS THIS SO HEAVY, GRANDMA!?!

 

[mj4cy]

Cereal Bag inside the Cereal Box = Mechanical Puzzle

 

[Angie]

Carmex = These cold sores aren't noticeable, right?

 

[Cyclonepride]

Haribo Sugar-free Gummy Bears - "In Case You Were Curious the Sound Your Colon Makes Splashing in the Toilet Water".

Sugar free candies are the product of evil. Public safety reminder- do not eat a whole bag of sugar free candy unless you want to alternate between praying you live and praying that you die.

 

[Doc]

Whole Foods: Cause Food Didn't Cost Enough For Some of You

 

[Doc]

Haribo Sugar-free Gummy Bears - "In Case You Were Curious the Sound Your Colon Makes Splashing in the Toilet Water".

Starbucks Via Instant Coffee: For Those Times You're Out of Haribo Sugar-Free Gummy Bears

 

[madguy30]

Whole Foods: Cause Food Didn't Cost Enough For Some of You

'Whole Foods: where the entire store looks down on you'.

 

[Clonefan32]

"Wal-Mart: Oh God why did I come here I need a shower."