Hedberg

[HitItHard58]

The dude was speedballing, so yes you have a death wish if you partake in speedballing. Even if you don't have a death wish using hard drugs means that you are slowly killing yourself.

As for your analogy- speeding or not you can be killed driving a car. 100% of those that drive could possibly be killed in a vehicle, 0% of those that do not take drugs will die from a drug overdose- so in my mind you are harming yourself on purpose if using drugs which in a way is committing suicide.

Slowly killing yourself with drugs or any other unhealthy life choices and deciding to commit suicide are clearly different things. My speeding analogy wasn't even so much about speeding as it was the fact that tons of people die in car accidents every day. People take all kinds of risks with their lives on a daily basis but for some reason drug addicts get no sympathy and are accused of taking their own lives.

 

[ThurgoodMarshal]

A Few of my favorite one liners:

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
I bought a $7 pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.
This shirt is dry clean only....which means it's dirty.
I wanted to buy a candle holder but the store didn't have one. So I bought a cake.

 

[GTO]

Not gonna lie. When I first read the thread title I thought it said Hoiberg. I just thought:

 

[Tailg8er]

People need to try and understand some of the reasons people abuse drugs. I doubt it was done on a whim. There's a lot more going on than just deciding "HEY! I think I should try drugs! It'll be awesome!"

Where'd ya learn that, Cheech? Druuug school???

 

[mywayorcyway]

I look so much younger in this picture.

 

[cobraclone71]

I can't help but read everything here in his voice...

 

[VeloClone]

Roids. Not ster, but hem.

Yeah, why do they call them 'hemorrhoids' anyway? Wouldn't it be more descriptive to call them 'asteroids'?

 

[Tre4ISU]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVceIdoWf5o

I have a buddy who talks quite a bit like him. I loved his stuff and will never see someone of his style again.

 

[coolerifyoudid]

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it

 

[CyOps]

Ducks eat free at subway.

 

[rudiskilz]

I've got a belt thats holding up my pants, and pants with belt loops holding up my belt. Im not sure whats really going on down there.

 

[jbindm]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVceIdoWf5o

I have a buddy who talks quite a bit like him. I loved his stuff and will never see someone of his style again.

I don't know about that. Hedberg was a great comedian, but his act was pretty similar to Steven Wright's. And I think Wright is still performing, although I haven't seen him in anything in a while now.

Some of Wright's best -

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

 

[cyclones500]

I don't know about that. Hedberg was a great comedian, but his act was pretty similar to Steven Wright's. And I think Wright is still performing, although I haven't seen him in anything in a while now.

Wright came to my mind, too .... I can see similarities in the type of material, but each had a unique delivery that made them radically different. (Not sure I'm explaining it correctly, but anyone familiar with both comics will know what I'm trying to say. Maybe.)

 

[jbindm]

Wright came to my mind, too .... I can see similarities in the type of material, but each had a unique delivery that made them radically different. (Not sure I'm explaining it correctly, but anyone familiar with both comics will know what I'm trying to say. Maybe.)

Yeah, it's not like Hedberg was ripping off Wright's act or anything, but the similarities - absurd one liners and a low key, deadpan delivery - are there.

 

[shildreth]

I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I'll just give you the money, and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I just can't imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend: "Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut! I got the documentation right here...oh, wait it's at home...in the file...under "D".

 

[cyclones500]

My friend said to me, "I think the weather's trippy." I said, "No, man, it's not the weather that's trippy, perhaps it is the way that we perceive it that is indeed trippy." Then I thought, "Man, I should have just said 'Yeah.'"

 

[cyclones500]

Yeah, it's not like Hedberg was ripping off Wright's act or anything, but the similarities - absurd one liners and a low key, deadpan delivery - are there.

Agree, definitely some overlap there (I guess that's why Wright comes to mind first if I try to find a comparison for Hedberg).

 

[cyclones500]

I can't help but read everything here in his voice...

I was doing the same thing!

It happened when I'd read a couple of Hedberg lines, then it was followed by just a regular comment, and reading that with the Hedberg delivery.

 

[cyclones500]

I saw a commercial on TV. It said, “Forget everything you know about slipcovers.” So I did. And it was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn’t know what the hell they were.

 

[Gunnerclone]

Georges Niang‏@GeorgesNiang20

I don't know who Mitch Hedberg is but I'd like to meet him - Mike Dedberg