Need Info/Guidance on Prepaid Funeral Plans

[MeanDean]

Not a fun topic, but...

As I prepare to enter my 8th decade on this planet I need to get this taken care of.

I have my plot and my will/trust done.

I don't really know how it works. I don't want to walk into a Funeral Home knowing nothing.

Any dos and don'ts or pitfalls to watch for. Or recommendations.

Not necessarily specific local providers.

TIA


"I plan to live forever. So far, so good." Steven Wright

 

[isucy86]

My dad took care of his in advance. In looking at the services provided they seemed pretty cookie cutter from one funeral home to another. Here are some I recall as I don't have access to documents right now.

• Casket vs Cremation
• Funeral Facility Usage (Visitation at Funeral Home vs. Church prior to Funeral)
• Funeral Home Personal/Hearse for Church and Graveside
• Church (Pay priest, choir)
• Lunch (Location & Budget)
• Military Honors (Donation to American Legion, etc.)
• Obituary Notice in Local Paper
• Fee for Death Certificates

There might have been a few other minor charges. The prepaid fees are placed in an escrow account with local bank. You also have option to allow your family members to care for themselves (e.g. Lunch).

My dad made his arrangements about a decade before he died. We ended up getting some money back from Funeral Home because costs were lower than anticipated. I think that was mainly due to lunch location and number of people (he died at 97).

edit: I also think there were flower arrangement for Altar in prepaid budget. And also funeral prayer cards, funeral sign-in book and funeral mass booklet.

 

[Cyched]

For $420.69 I’ll throw you out in the woods and let nature do its job.

 

[LivntheCyLife]

Most of what I've seen suggest prepaid funeral plans are a bad idea. It varies, but many of these accounts are poorly regulated/protected if the funeral home goes out of business and provide a poor return on investment if you don't die relatively soon after paying. Then your wishes might also change and you could be stuck paying for the prior plan.

Most funeral homes allow pre-planning at no cost so you can have your plans on record. If you already have a trust created rather than just a testamentary trust, that should also work fine to quickly access money to pay funeral costs. Or if you trust your executor, you could just make a smallish savings account you have payable on death to your planned executor to fund things outside of the will/estate plan.

Having recently gone through unexpected funeral planning, if you are ok with it, there is significant savings with a cremation service. Both with the cost of embalming/casket but also the support services they provide compared to a funeral home. Also, my cremation provider told me to go buy an urn I liked on Amazon rather than buying from her! With a pastor and extended family and friends, it didn't feel necessary to have a funeral home to coordinate a visitation and funeral. But if going that route, it is important to have people besides immediate family assigned to help with day of logistics. Cremation allowed the opportunity to delay a little which helps with people's ability to travel and also to plan.

 

[cydnote]

Since my sick sense of humor would take me places that would not be pertinent to your original question, I will say with honesty that I hope this is still an issue you are dealing with many, many years from now

 

[Ms3r4ISU]

For $420.69 I’ll throw you out in the woods and let nature do its job.

Nice estimate.

 

[BCClone]

For $420.69 I’ll throw you out in the woods and let nature do its job.

You not asking height and weight first?

 

[pourcyne]

MeanDean, may it be many, many years before you need it, but trust me when I say that it is a true act of love for your family if you specify in writing what you may want and have it paid for before you are gone. This goes for plot, casket, burial, visitation, obituary, copies of the death certificate, and right on down to who you want as pall bearers and what music you want played, if you want a funeral. Include any memorials that you might wish for. If you decide all that ahead of time, they will be able to grieve without the added burden of worrying about what, when, where, and how to cover the cost. What's more, they won't be vulnerable to any sales pitches the undertaker might be making at the time. Pre-paid is what my mother did for me and my siblings and I will be forever grateful to her for many things, but especially that.

Just in case you're interested in maybe something a little out of the ordinary, you can look up the laws for burial and cremation in your home state.

Here are the ones for Iowa: https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/burial-cremation-laws-iowa.html

 

[FriendlySpartan]

MeanDean, may it be many, many years before you need it, but trust me when I say that it is a true act of love for your family if you specify in writing what you may want and have it paid for before you are gone. This goes for plot, casket, burial, visitation, obituary, copies of the death certificate, and right on down to who you want as pall bearers and what music you want played, if you want a funeral. Include any memorials that you might wish for. If you decide all that ahead of time, they will be able to grieve without the added burden of worrying about what, when, where, and how to cover the cost. What's more, they won't be vulnerable to any sales pitches the undertaker might be making at the time. Pre-paid is what my mother did for me and my siblings and I will be forever grateful to her for many things, but especially that.

Just in case you're interested in maybe something a little out of the ordinary, you can look up the laws for burial and cremation in your home state.

Here are the ones for Iowa: https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/burial-cremation-laws-iowa.html

I want to echo how excellent of an idea this is to plan as much as possible. Similar to a wedding a funeral is full of a bunch of small decisions that are just frankly annoying and insignificant to a family that is grieving. I would like to add 2 important caveats however.

1. Keep in mind that a funeral isn’t for you, it’s for those that remain. I’m saying this because once you figure out what you want run it by some family/friends first to make sure there aren’t any crazy objections. I’ve seen plenty of people do things differently even with a plan in place of these convos aren’t had and it can make things more difficult.

2. I would avoid pre paying a funeral home and instead set up an account of your choosing (that generates some interest) and have that money put in the will/trust to cover funeral expenses. This gives far more flexibility and prevents loss in case of an issue with the funeral home.

 

[Turn2]

For $420.69 I’ll throw you out in the woods and let nature do its job.

Any couples discount?

 

[pourcyne]

I want to echo how excellent of an idea this is to plan as much as possible. Similar to a wedding a funeral is full of a bunch of small decisions that are just frankly annoying and insignificant to a family that is grieving. I would like to add 2 important caveats however.

1. Keep in mind that a funeral isn’t for you, it’s for those that remain. I’m saying this because once you figure out what you want run it by some family/friends first to make sure there aren’t any crazy objections. I’ve seen plenty of people do things differently even with a plan in place of these convos aren’t had and it can make things more difficult.

But ya know, after you're gone, it's out of your hands. Personally, I would avoid putting a real person in the family as the arbiter of the eventual crazy, because there's bound to be craziness of some sort. It's unavoidable, just because grief and shock make people do and say crazy things.

I think the best you can accomplish is to put down what you want in your directions and leave it with the designee (I wouldn't say executor because most times you wouldn't know who the legal executor(s) is (are) until after the funeral, especially since that can be changed any time prior to the individual's death.

2. I would avoid pre paying a funeral home and instead set up an account of your choosing (that generates some interest) and have that money put in the will/trust to cover funeral expenses. This gives far more flexibility and prevents loss in case of an issue with the funeral home.

Good point about the funeral home going out of business, except that you still have a binding contract with them or their successors even if they go out of business.

The advantage to pre-paying is that your estate won't be charged any more than what you contracted for, whereas if it's a private account, the survivors will be put on the spot to say yes or no when the incidentals start being mentioned (like, did you know you can have your loved one's ashes made into a diamond and/or did you know you can have jewelry made of their fingerprints?

In other words, ka-ching.

 

[RLD4ISU]

My in-laws prepaid. Picked out their caskets, funeral service, bought the plots and headstones (engraved with everything except death date). When my MIL died, she even had her burial clothes picked out and hanging in the closet. (She had been ill/declining for years). The only decision the family had to make/pay for was a casket spray.

My parents bought their plots & headstone. Dad talked to the funeral home and was told the best thing to do is to put the money in a CD or account designated payable upon death to either children or funeral home. When Mom died, we planned everything and started with that months before her death. (She was end stage dementia) Dad used money he had set aside.

As for us, we plan to have money set aside. We told our son we personally prefer just private burial and - if he wants - a celebration of life later. Even without the tradition services, it’s not cheap: casket, vault, preparing of the body, death certificates, newspaper notices (they don’t do it for free anymore), etc.

 

[FriendlySpartan]

But ya know, after you're gone, it's out of your hands. Personally, I would avoid putting a real person in the family as the arbiter of the eventual crazy, because there's bound to be craziness of some sort. It's unavoidable, just because grief and shock make people do and say crazy things.

I think the best you can accomplish is to put down what you want in your directions and leave it with the designee (I wouldn't say executor because most times you wouldn't know who the legal executor(s) is (are) until after the funeral, especially since that can be changed any time prior to the individual's death.



Good point about the funeral home going out of business, except that you still have a binding contract with them or their successors even if they go out of business.

The advantage to pre-paying is that your estate won't be charged any more than what you contracted for, whereas if it's a private account, the survivors will be put on the spot to say yes or no when the incidentals start being mentioned (like, did you know you can have your loved one's ashes made into a diamond and/or did you know you can have jewelry made of their fingerprints?

In other words, ka-ching.

If they go out of business your binding contract means nothing

 

[RLD4ISU]

Something like this might help. There are also similar lists out there to use.

https://www.finalplan.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Final-Plan-End-of-Life-Planning-Guide.pdf

 

[RLD4ISU]

(like, did you know you can have your loved one's ashes made into a diamond and/or did you know you can have jewelry made of their fingerprints?

In other words, ka-ching.

Friends of ours took their Dad’s ashes to a glass blower. The whole family went and was able to create whatever they wanted with some of the ashes in the glass. Some made a glass ornament for Christmas or to hang in a window. Their mom had his ashes put into a wine glass so she could still sit down and have a glass of wine with him.

 

[pourcyne]

If they go out of business your binding contract means nothing

Not necessarily.

In Iowa, if a business closes or dissolves, its existing contracts remain valid and enforceable. The business, even in dissolution, still has obligations and rights related to those contracts. If the business can't fulfill its contractual obligations due to closure, it may be considered in breach of contract.

Banks can fail, too.

 

[FriendlySpartan]

Not necessarily.

In Iowa, if a business closes or dissolves, its existing contracts remain valid and enforceable. The business, even in dissolution, still has obligations and rights related to those contracts. If the business can't fulfill its contractual obligations due to closure, it may be considered in breach of contract.

Banks can fail, too.

That’s fine, but good luck enforcing that. The goal of this is to help the grieving family make decisions, not engage in a legal battle to get funds back.

 

[coolerifyoudid]

Just make sure you find a competent archer.

 

[FallOf81]

Any couples discount?

I think that's where the 69 came into the calc

 

[pourcyne]

That’s fine, but good luck enforcing that. The goal of this is to help the grieving family make decisions, not engage in a legal battle to get funds back.

That's the funny thing about death. It's definitely not free. Even when everything goes smoothly.