If any of you are looking for any last minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Tom Manning, my OC, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him right here with a bow ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey **** he is! Hallelujah, holy ****! Where’s the Tylenol?