(Episode 1/2) Natural Ice: 1.9
Stanz: “That’s not good...do not drink warm.”
Fitz: “No taste at all...Figi water with weird aftertaste compared to Busch Lite.”
NO RATING
Stanz: NR
Fitz: 1.9/10
(Episode 3) Steel Reserve Hi-Gravity Lager: 7 ***
Stanz: “It makes your mouth feel weird afterwards.”
Fitz: “It’s got more taste than Natty Ice...not necessarily good taste.”
INVENTION OF RATING SCALE
Stanz: 4.3/10
Fitz: 3.8/10
***Was given a ratings bump in the 6th and 7th episode, was said that it’s still top of the list.***
(Episode 4) Icehouse: .25
Stanz: “Oh my god. Ohhhh...that’s really bad. UGH.”
Fitz: “That’s a sour aftertaste...gag worthy...easily the worst beer ever. That’s a bitter beer face.”
RATINGS:
Stanz: .1/10
Fitz: 0.4/10
(Episode 5) Hurricane High Gravity: 3.7
Stanz: “Not nearly as bad as Icehouse...If I wanted to get drunk and had $2 to my name, this is an exceptional buy.”
Fitz: “Fine going down, not good aftertaste...if you chug it, it’s fine!”
RATINGS:
Stanz: 3.9/10
Fitz: 3.5/10
(Episode 6) Natty Daddy: 4.8
Stanz: “I expected it to be worse. Tastes like apple juice?? Natty Ice with worse aftertaste.”
Fitz: “I guess it’s pretty high on our scale.
SPECIAL GUEST SEARS: “If you are going to slam it, I guess you could drink it all. I give it a 5.”
RATINGS
Stanz: 5.3/10
Fitz: 4.2/10
(Episode 7) Keystone Ice: 6.4
Stanz: “Not too bad! What I imagine is a drink of choice for young kids.
Fitz: “With it being ice, it tastes like Natural Ice but better. Classic college drinking experience.”
RATINGS
Stanz: 6.6
Fitz: 6.1
(Episode 8) Steel Reserve Hard Pineapple: 4.7
Stanz: “Ohhh...That’s not good. Tastes like a 4 loco. I pretty much bought an off brand 4 Loco. I let you guys down.”
SPECIAL GUEST Cyclone07: “I can’t really describe it...Tastes like somewhat straight pineapple juice. Tastes like a mix of the bad sides of a 4 Loco and a Mike’s Hard.”
Fitz: “Tastes a little like an energy drink. It wasn’t terrible for me.”
RATINGS
Stanz: 4.7/10
Fitz: 5.5/10
GUEST Cyclone07: 4
(Episode 9) Icehouse Edge: 0.9
Stanz: “Oh no. Man, this is just...how have they kept their company afloat?! Who buys this beer and is like ‘Yeah, let’s buy it again!’ It tastes like what my mind used to think Natty Lite tasted like. If you drink Icehouse Edge on the regular and own a house, I’d be impressed.
Fitz: “Oh yeah. Ohhhhhh...same Icehouse bad taste, more alcohol. Why would you get Icehouse unless you love bad beer [taste]? They set out to make a bad beer and succeeded.
RATINGS
Stanz: 1.1
Fitz: .6
(Episode 10) Cerveza Tecate Light: 3.7
Stanz: “That smells absolutely terrible. It doesn’t taste as bad as it smells. This is what I think Generic beer tastes like. It’s just...just beer. I’m completely neutral on it.”
Fitz: “The cans look like they’ve literally been thrown over Trump’s wall to get into the country. A little salty taste for me. It’s a very ‘beer’ beer. I could see myself sipping it.”
RATINGS
Stanz: 3.5
Fitz: 3.9
(Episode 11) Earthquake Hi-Gravity Lager: .4
Stanz: “ This is potent stuff. Same company that makes 4Loko. That tastes like straight alcohol. Tastes like a fake-beer flavored 4Loko. Tastes like if you add a shot of Hawkeye to a Bud Light. I saw the can and was like ‘Yeah, this will be bad.”
Fitz: “Tastes like rubbing alcohol with the aftertaste of vodka. The beer part isn’t bad, but...it isn’t good.”
RATINGS
Stanz: This breaks the scale. 0/10
Fitz: .8/10
(Episode 12) Miller High Life: 6.6
Stanz: “It’s not terrible. If someone gave me one, I wouldn’t complain.”
Fitz: “That’s actually pretty good. Not as good as Exile but that’s one of the better bad ones. Smooth, my mouth didn’t taste weird afterwards.”
RATINGS
Stanz: 6.5/10
Fitz: 6.7/10
(Episode 13) Rockdale Classic: 3.8
Stanz: “A smooth, refreshing lager………allegedly. Can looks like a wannabe Busch Lite. I have no mental power behind anything right now. Second drink is a lot worse.
Fitz: “It’s not good…not too terrible. Aftertaste isn’t very good…not good going down. I’d buy this over Icehouse 10/10 days.
RATINGS
Stanz: 4.1/10
Fitz: 3.4/10
**You think that possibly Stanz rated it higher because his sense of smell has been affected by his cold?**
(Episode 14) Shlitz: 5.3
Stanz: “I feel like this is what my grandpa used to drink. Not too bad…
Fitz: “It’s on a little salty/oaky side?? Negative side of oaky.
RATINGS
Stanz: 5.4/10
Fitz: 5.1/10
(Episode 15) Natty Rush: 5.5
Stanz: “It actually smells good. Supposed to be a stronger 4LOKO. Probably going to be better than the Steel Reserve Pineapple…It tastes like something, but idk...If you put a shot of vodka and a little Sprite in a fruit punch Gatorade.It makes your mouth feel weird. Like...empty.”
Fitz: “It looks like Strawberry Soda. It tastes exactly like fruit punch Gatorade. I actually kinda like it. Next time you are at a sporting event you don’t care about, pour your Gatorade out and put this in.”
RATINGS
Stanz: 5.8/10
Fitz: 5.2/10
(Episode 16) Olde English 800: 5
Stanz: “I feel like this would be best enjoyed out of a 40. It’s kinda weird...It doesn’t really taste like anything.
Fitz: “More on the metallicy side for me. Compares to the Miller High Life.
RATINGS
Stanz: 4.6
Fitz: 5.5
(Episode 17) Totally Dirt Cheap: -3.3 *15 year old beer
Stanz: “Says on the can ‘It’s always fun with Totally Dirt Cheap Beer!’ I got it from a friend of the program at Chick Fil-A. I was Googling how long you can keep beer before it kills you. If it makes us sick, that Exile is better. Ugh. Eww...that smells really bad. I’m really scared. Merry Christmas, everyone! *drinks…...My eyes are watering, dude. I’m literally crying bro...I literally gagged. I really don’t feel good.
Fitz: “I’m a little afraid. That does NOT smell good. Anything else before this kills us? I’m not going to throw up, but that’s BAD. I’m glad our punishment isn't chugging the worst beer because if you chugged one of these you’d literally die.”
RATINGS
Stanz: -3.5/10
Fitz: -3/10
(Episode 18) Busch Ice: 7
Stanz: “It tastes exactly like Busch Lite. You know how Busch Lite is called like water? This is the beer that would take that reputation. I would legit drink this.”
Fitz: “This is my favorite ‘ice’ beer. It’s good. Up there near the top for me.”
RATINGS
Stanz: 7.5/10
Fitz: 6.4/10
Ranked in order of most drinkable:
Busch Ice (7)
Steel Reserve (6.9)* (Was bumped from top spot in Episode 18, so I knocked it down .1)
Miller High Life (6.6)
Keystone Ice (6.4)
Shlitz (5.3)
Natty Rush (5.2)
Olde English 800 (5)
Natty Daddy (4.8)
Steel Reserve Pineapple (4.7)
Rockdale Classic (3.8)
Hurricane High Gravity (3.7)
Tecate Light: (3.7)
Natural Ice (1.9)
Icehouse Edge (0.9)
Earthquake (0.4)
Icehouse (0.25)
Dirt Cheap (-3.3)* Was 15 years old